2019

Our son just threw up most of 2019.

Our son just threw up most of 2019.

I've been severely owned. I'm helping my son clean his...

I've been severely owned. I'm helping my son clean his room, so he asked if he could choose some music.

I'm 10+ years older than many of the people I follow, and...

I'm 10+ years older than many of the people I follow, and in the next decade I'm so excited to see you all make the journey into your 40s and realize certain wonderful and eternal truths.

I always think of this as my daughter's MetaFilter dress.

I always think of this as my daughter's MetaFilter dress.

Your kids can seem big and loud and demanding, and then...

Your kids can seem big and loud and demanding, and then sometimes you notice that they are very small in comparison to the rest of the huge, noisy world.

Efforts like this are so great. History is just missing for...

Efforts like this are so great. History is just missing for so many people.

Witchers should learn to code.

Witchers should learn to code.

I just asked myself, what were my 10 greatest failures this...

I just asked myself, what were my 10 greatest failures this decade? And now I can't stop thinking about it.

Little spies who sneak open their bedroom doors best get...

Little spies who sneak open their bedroom doors best get their butts back in bed tout suite or face extreme Christmas consequences.

Comedians in Cars Getting Cancelled

Tweet

An HTML page can have a little JavaScript. As a treat.

An HTML page can have a little JavaScript. As a treat.

Maybe this Christmas you could put down the Star Wars and...

Maybe this Christmas you could put down the Star Wars and remember that the true “Force” comes from Jesus Christ or as I like to call him the Sandalorian.

AWS just keeps getting more and more complicated.

AWS just keeps getting more and more complicated.

2019: Design systems. 2020: Design system systems.

2019: Design systems. 2020: Design system systems.

This VP of Marketing's response is just...this person is...

This VP of Marketing's response is just... this person is just an absolute warrior for the brand.

The Singularity is Near, Change My Mind.

The Singularity is Near, Change My Mind.

Surprisingly good prank/joke the kids learned: Kid: I'm...

Surprisingly good prank/joke the kids learned: Kid: I'm going to make you say the number “ten. ” Me: Okay.

If I wanted to interconnect all human knowledge I would...

If I wanted to interconnect all human knowledge I would just drop acid and invent HyperCard.

at least vlc will get its santa hat soon

A thing confusing folks: It's designed for FRIENDS to chat...

A http://yap. chat thing confusing folks: It's designed for FRIENDS to chat with each other privately.

Meet Yap! Real-time, disposable chat with no logs for all...

Meet Yap! Real-time, disposable chat with no logs for all your trash-talking needs.

I like to listen to old audio files to fall asleep. So I...

I like to listen to old audio files to fall asleep. So I tried out this episode of Meet the Press from the 50s with British historian Arnold Toynbee.

He's got a clean car (baby it's cold outside) He's rated...

2019 Baby It's Cold Outside I really can't stay I have to...

If you need anything from me RN please know I had seven...

If you need anything from me RN please know I had seven meetings today and before that from 4AM-5AM I gently palpated the hurty tum-tum of a constipated eight-year-old.

Everyone on social media keeps circling this story like a...

Everyone on social media keeps circling this story like a bunch of vultures. Which makes sense because it's about carry-on.

You can sing the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt song to...

You can sing the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt song to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

Also little cat trots.

Also little cat trots.

What are your most soothing household sounds? Dishwasher...

What are your most soothing household sounds? Dishwasher running as I'm reading.

You know who was killed because he worked for his dream...

You know who was killed because he worked for his dream Bran?

Nothing would make me happier as a customer than receiving...

Nothing would make me happier as a customer than receiving 100 suitcases.

I kept falling asleep during a P.G. Wodehouse audiobook on...

I kept falling asleep during a P. G.

I wish to god I had no idea who Van Halen is.

I wish to god I had no idea who Van Halen is.

It's over.

It's over.

I somehow got my blankets exactly right tonight. Fresh...

I somehow got my blankets exactly right tonight. Fresh sheets, two light blankets, and a weighted top blanket.

It's going to be kind of sad when I finally erase my old...

It's going to be kind of sad when I finally erase my old tweets. https://x.

this might be too much

I can't help myself when it comes to making cultural...

I can't help myself when it comes to making cultural observations, because I'm a Leo.

Twitter's most brutal trap is the joke meme where the...

Twitter's most brutal trap is the joke meme where the person "pokes gentle fun of themselves" while inserting something they're proud of. It's bad form to be anything but miserable On Here and people are desperate to show off so they become willing victims of autothirstification.

Flight attendant: Is anyone on this flight funny?

Flight attendant: Is anyone on this flight funny?

Ikea spouse tip: “Do we need accent pillows for our new day...

Ikea spouse tip: “Do we need accent pillows for our new day bed? ” is not actually a question.

Ten years from now we are all going to be on here making...

Ten years from now we are all going to be on here making fun of Elon Musk's announcement that he used CRISPR technology to make an army of Thundercats.

my cybertruck brings all the bauds to rillard

Imagine if suspicious firemen reviewed every piece of code...

Imagine if suspicious firemen reviewed every piece of code you wrote.

Software is re-eating the world construction already ate.

Software is re-eating the world construction already ate.

When I say my wife works in construction, people often ask,...

When I say my wife works in construction, people often ask, does she want to work in tech? Construction is a $10 trillion global industry, you go to school for it, the work is hard, the environment impact is immediate, and salaries for PMs are comparable to tech PMs.

Can I vouch for her as a construction project manager?...

Can I vouch for her as a construction project manager? Reader, I married her.

wizards get all upset whenever a muggle says ok broomer

British period-after-double-quote is the most upsetting...

British period-after-double-quote is the most upsetting punctuation.

I made a list of the things I can truly control, it was...

I made a list of the things I can truly control, it was just the words “regular haircut.

Google has filed Glengarry Glen Ross under ”Coffee Movie.”

Google has filed Glengarry Glen Ross under ”Coffee Movie.

In 2019 I'd probably suggest GraphQL Malone.

In 2019 I'd probably suggest GraphQL Malone.

Post Malone implies the existence of Get, Put, Patch, and...

Post Malone implies the existence of Get, Put, Patch, and Delete Malone.

Is the generation after Z 1 or AA?

Is the generation after Z 1 or AA?

Seems stressful on here so I'm gonna post some fun...

Seems stressful on here so I'm gonna post some fun #notarchivepix to lighten the mood.

Boy this one holds up

Boy this one holds up https://postlight.

I enjoyed recording this podcast because you can hear me...

I enjoyed recording this podcast because you can hear me realizing in real time how much I have to learn about Influencerdom and how vast and wild @TaylorLorenz 's beat is, and how deep it all goes. It goes deep!

What's Kermit's HBO Go password?

What's Kermit's HBO Go password? https://x.

OK Rumors

Its all fun until the boomers introduce a tariff on...

Its all fun until the boomers introduce a tariff on Fleetwood Mac.

Just the degree of free-floating brain virus is kind of...

Just the degree of free-floating brain virus is kind of terrifying.

Twelve minutes after getting off the plane in Sacramento a...

Twelve minutes after getting off the plane in Sacramento a random woman was aggressively talking to people on the rental car bus about QAnon.

I wonder what that guy on the pig farm in Ohio, who refused...

I wonder what that guy on the pig farm in Ohio, who refused to hear any news after Trump won, is doing right now. Probably reading a book, absolutely unconcerned.

Cognitive biases

Cognitive biases https://x.

This is so great. Just look at it. Imagining being there is...

This is so great. Just look at it.

every horrible thing you all associate with boomers is...

Oh my god enough about generations it's just astrology for...

Oh my god enough about generations it's just astrology for opinion columnists.

I won the medieval jester pun contest again this year which...

I won the medieval jester pun contest again this year which makes me the Thane of Groans.

Kinja was a good CMS.

Kinja was a good CMS.

Before you post, have a rough idea of who you're...

Before you post, have a rough idea of who you're chastising. Do some persona work to nail down WHO you can't stand.

i saw this and involuntarily made noises like the cat that...

Dropbox...are you in the lifestyle

@DropboxSupport Dropbox...

Apparently I named the Dropbox folder with our taxes...

Apparently I named the Dropbox folder with our taxes "shared-wife" and someone at work was looking over her shoulder and asked if she was in the lifestyle.

Happy 4th birthday @PostlightStudio. You are very good, and...

Happy 4th birthday @PostlightStudio . You are very good, and I love you.

This is incredibly sad and an absolutely awful decision...

This is incredibly sad and an absolutely awful decision that disrespects the intelligence of both the staff and the audience. https://x.

And where did you guys meet?

And where did you guys meet?

10,000 Maniacs was a good band and many of us enjoyed...

10,000 Maniacs was a good band and many of us enjoyed buying their albums, tapes, and CDs in the late 1980s and 1990s. But consider, if you'd invested in an index fund, you'd have over 157,000 Maniacs by now.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but retold as the...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but retold as the story of the relationship between my phone and my Bluetooth headphones.

This apple carries the tragic memory of another apple.

This apple carries the tragic memory of another apple.

A Peter Gabriel album needs one pop song about geopolitics,...

A Peter Gabriel album needs one pop song about geopolitics, one song where a prisoner of conscience is murdered, one song that is clearly related to Jungian analysis, and one incredibly awkward Motown sex song about Peter Gabriel's unbelievable pounding talent.

It's going to be awkward when Trump loses and everyone...

It's going to be awkward when Trump loses and everyone still hates each other.

I name all my variables Margaret or Pauline because I...

I name all my variables Margaret or Pauline because I program using Neko Case. This joke doesn't work.

it's wild to search your tweets for the words "son" or...

it's wild to search your tweets for the words "son" or "daughter" and see what was happening https://x.

Friends, I don't know how to say this, but in addition to...

Friends, I don't know how to say this, but in addition to my regular @PostlightStudio podcast co-hosting responsibilities, I am now co-hosting a revived Stack Overflow podcast with two Stackfolk, @SaraJChipps + @benpopper . https://open.

The greatest distance in the world is between a basket of...

The greatest distance in the world is between a basket of clean, folded laundry and the closet.

More than 50 years ago Andy Warhol already understood can...

More than 50 years ago Andy Warhol already understood can sell culture.

Literally I swear to god "CYCLE OF VIOLENCE! MY TURN!"...

Literally I swear to god "CYCLE OF VIOLENCE! MY TURN!

I guess that's progress

I just had a long talk with the 8yo twins about hitting and...

I just had a long talk with the 8yo twins about hitting and now they are yelling "it's my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence" before hitting each other.

AND NOW A WORD ABOUT PLUMS

This is...truly great.

This is... truly great.

I think if you tweet back and forth with someone five or...

I think if you tweet back and forth with someone five or six times it's okay to call them your friend.

I would just like to say to UX designers that many of us...

I would just like to say to UX designers that many of us zoom in and out, and we do it a lot, and it should always be easy to do it, to the point of having a special widget that is big and makes it obvious.

I will gladly chew Glenlivet pods and can't wait to buy a...

I will gladly chew Glenlivet pods and can't wait to buy a bag of them at Family Dollar.

I just got caught out on this beautiful fall day buying...

I just got caught out on this beautiful fall day buying “Salt Fat Acid Heat” in the Prospect Park Barnes & Noble and had no explanation except that I'm an utterly basic person.

I just asked my son for his energy level and he gave me...

I just asked my son for his energy level and he gave me ”88%” like a phone battery.

One day we're going to push production too far.

One day we're going to push production too far.

Me: Did you turn in the permission slips? 8yo son: Yes for...

Me: Did you turn in the permission slips? 8yo son: Yes for the clubs, except for the field trip, because I need ten dollars.

You're never fully present anywhere for about six years and...

@karenkho You're never fully present anywhere for about six years and no one talks about it and we all do our best to cover up thr truth for each other. But it's essentially like having a mild brain injury.

Yes thank you I'll have the whole chiken appetizer.

Yes thank you I'll have the whole chiken appetizer.

Potential client: What I really need is a droid that...

Potential client: What I really need is a droid that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators. Me: Vaporators?

As a man I demand an untitled gander game.

As a man I demand an untitled gander game.

I know what all of your replies will be. But I wish I could...

I know what all of your replies will be. But I wish I could go back ten years in my career and take this job because: 1) Global warming.

FRIENDS do you want a big editorial job in downtown...

FRIENDS do you want a big editorial job in downtown Manhattan? Where your work reaches millions of people...

All this stuff about sapiosexuality is kind of a mindfuck.

All this stuff about sapiosexuality is kind of a mindfuck.

Before you complain just know there are infinite universes...

Before you complain just know there are infinite universes where this joke owns.

I need to find someone to take care of millions of versions...

I need to find someone to take care of millions of versions of the same building. Yes I'm hiring for a quantum super position.

Women: The harassment was part of a well-established,...

Women: The harassment was part of a well-established, long-understood pattern. Tech industry: Then we should be able to train a neural net to recognize it.

Never miss an opportunity to complain is what I'm saying.

Never miss an opportunity to complain is what I'm saying.

A big lesson of NYC for me is that spontaneous mutual...

A big lesson of NYC for me is that spontaneous mutual complaining is a safe way for strangers to become friends.

I am very tempted to start introducing the most persistent...

I am very tempted to start introducing the most persistent cold emailers to each other. "Vaclav, sorry I didn't write back.

and is there a mrs brightside

CAREER TRAJECTORY Years 1-4: I have no idea what I'm...

CAREER TRAJECTORY Years 1-4: I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm terrible at my job. 5-9: I'm a total fraud—but maybe not a TOTAL fraud.

Two CMSes, both alike in dignity In fair Manhattan, where...

this is not illegal due to an obscure legal claws

this is not illegal due to an obscure legal claws https://x.

wednesday: honey, go be with your mom, i love parenting...

Apparently after all that sobbing my ballet bun was good...

Apparently after all that sobbing my ballet bun was good enough for dance class after all.

Things are so bad we can't even title our geese games.

Things are so bad we can't even title our geese games.

I tell everyone to go and no one listens. You're all too...

@CarolineMoss I tell everyone to go and no one listens. You're all too good to let someone named Brad with a hard-earned MS fix your back while he tells you about moving into his girlfriend's apartment?

My daughter just referred to the musical note C♯ as C...

My daughter just referred to the musical note C♯ as C hashtag.

This is one of things I funded with the money from my...

This is one of things I funded with the money from my @WIRED cover defending tech. Worth it.

Look at this doorknob.

Look at this doorknob.

I think maybe the worst thing that could happen to a person...

I think maybe the worst thing that could happen to a person is to go online and there are 5 Fast Facts about you on Heavy dot com.

I will practice this until I get it exactly right.

I will practice this until I get it exactly right.

what I used to think was me is just a fading memory

what I used to think was me is just a fading memory https://x.

Our anniversary is the day before the kids' birthday, so...

Our anniversary is the day before the kids' birthday, so it's this muddle in our brains, mostly a day we run cake-related errands. I always come back to this essay in my head.

Daughter: For my eighth birthday I'd like a ukelele. Me:...

Daughter: For my eighth birthday I'd like a ukelele. Me: Well...

This is Printer.

This is Printer.

A tildeverse-builder named Mike Buchholz...

A tildeverse-builder named Mike Buchholz (info @retrodigital . net) offered to take over http://tilde.

This is a website for silly jokes with friends. Everything...

This is a website for silly jokes with friends. Everything else is scope creep.

I've never regretted not weighing in on here.

I've never regretted not weighing in on here.

if gen x knows anything we know that ten thousand is too...

Feeding the trolls...into a meat grinder.

Feeding the trolls... into a meat grinder.

My phone camera is also ridiculous. The market cap of...

My phone camera is also ridiculous. The market cap of Google is about half the value of all NYC real estate.

This city is ridiculous.

This city is ridiculous.

Elizabeth Warren nationalize Spotify.

Elizabeth Warren nationalize Spotify.

Lots of bad for sure but this is a golden age of Fleetwood...

Lots of bad for sure but this is a golden age of Fleetwood Mac covers.

I mean, 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs, and...

I mean, 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs, and William Hurt. And now we don't have any Cash or Jobs, but we still live in a world of Hurt.

It's wild to me that people prefer “we are all going to die...

It's wild to me that people prefer “we are all going to die in a fiery apocalypse” to “many things will need to change.

I'll still shitpost dead memes at random, that's my sacred...

I'll still shitpost dead memes at random, that's my sacred right.

The norm seems to be: If the artifact was created "outside"...

The norm seems to be: If the artifact was created "outside" the Internet it's fair game for reinterpretation and can be used without attribution; if it came from "here" or near here, attribution is required or you're "stealing. " It's a new norm, not a bad one.

Two faces from the museum.

Two faces from the museum.

rebels calling themselves freedom fighters while utterly...

whatever happened to this other guy

We went to the animal rescue today to get a dog (my strong...

We went to the animal rescue today to get a dog (my strong preference) or maybe two cats (everyone else's preference) and I can now say that for the next 12-17 years I will be scooping the litterbox of two kittens named Moonlight and Printer.

Another Brooklyn neighborhood ruined by hentrification

Another Brooklyn neighborhood ruined by hentrification https://www. buzzfeednews.

If you want to make a marble chessboard look really sad but...

If you want to make a marble chessboard look really sad but also glamorous you use Lana Del Reytracing.

tbh this was probably faster than going through laguardia

tbh this was probably faster than going through laguardia https://t.

I'll quietly ruin this by noting that the web has always...

I'll quietly ruin this by noting that the web has always been interpreted as a natively postmodern artifact because of when it was born, but software as a discipline is high modernist. Algorithmic feeds are a failed attempt to assert modernist strategies in a postmodern context.

I took Twitter off my phone to read more. This morning I...

I took Twitter off my phone to read more. This morning I re-read T.

Friends, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you...

Friends, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I am an IT Visionary. https://mission.

It's so wild that William Carlos Williams only wrote one...

It's so wild that William Carlos Williams only wrote one poem.

If you want to take a break from being consumed by despair,...

If you want to take a break from being consumed by despair, I finally finished my http://Usesthis. com interview, nine years after @waferbaby asked.

TikTok Teens: (Perform elaborate 20-second choreography...

TikTok Teens: (Perform elaborate 20-second choreography about their chronic depression/lack of economic and educational options while wearing food service uniforms, driving millions of views to a China-controlled platform with no compensation. ) Twitter dad: The kids are alright!

God I love taking Kaleidoscope Wake CBD to do my HVAC...

God I love taking Kaleidoscope Wake CBD to do my HVAC system concepting before the grandkid sleepover.

Talk about a library of congress!

Talk about a library of congress! https://x.

It's an amazing tool for listening to and sometimes helping...

@katienotopoulos It's an amazing tool for listening to and sometimes helping other people. We just see the awful part.

Sometimes I want to create an anonymous MEDIA AND TECH...

Sometimes I want to create an anonymous MEDIA AND TECH INSIDER TELLS IT LIKE IT IS twitter accounts where you shit all over everyone but after about three posts I'd just end up writing "we all have our struggles and working inside of big orgs is challenging btw this is Paul.

All I could think is that it's turtles getting all the way...

All I could think is that it's turtles getting all the way down all the way down.

I'm in Delaware and just saw a turtle and realized he was...

I'm in Delaware and just saw a turtle and realized he was probably here to start a shell company.

I'm happy for the Tumblr community and hope Tumblr goes...

I'm happy for the Tumblr community and hope Tumblr goes free software like WordPress. Local federated Tumblr would be a lot of fun.

As a grown-ass man I enjoy summer outings to

Google just asked me to erase about 1500k of memes from my...

Google just asked me to erase about 1500k of memes from my 128gb phone, which makes me feel unbelievably judged.

I can't wait until my kids are 11 so we can all have the...

I can't wait until my kids are 11 so we can all have the same sense of humor.

Reminds me of when my nephew (the one getting married, but...

Reminds me of when my nephew (the one getting married, but back then he was eight) made a card for my dying grandfather that said “dear pop pop have a good time in heaven.

Kids made a card for the upcoming wedding.

Kids made a card for the upcoming wedding.

Friends I'm on a podcast!

Friends I'm on a podcast! https://www.

Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Because I could not stop the hogs They kindly stopped for...

<three months later> And that's why we're introducing...

<three months later> And that's why we're introducing the BROTE, the re-usable canvas bag for carrying your MANLY meals back from the General Store (slide comes up of canvas tote bag printed with mudflap girls, piled high with Bob's Red Mill Vegan Eggs and Morningstar Sausages) https://x.

Despite repeated urgent requests over several years, the...

Despite repeated urgent requests over several years, the children regularly refuse to contribute to the household grocery discourse. Yet they frequently complain about the choices we make on their behalf.

This house is built like software.

This house is built like software. https://www.

Judging from Twitter tonight caps lock is the one key on...

Judging from Twitter tonight caps lock is the one key on the MacBook Pro keyboard that works just fine.

Tweet

Work Slack Monday morning.

Work Slack Monday morning. https://x.

I don't want to know what happens when the DOM can legally...

I don't want to know what happens when the DOM can legally drink. https://x.

I wonder if they will bring this tweet up as evidence when...

I wonder if they will bring this tweet up as evidence when they prosecute my generation in the Climate Trials of 2043.

Then again, climate change, the joke's on them.

Then again, climate change, the joke's on them.

My kids learned ironic delivery overnight. It's very...

My kids learned ironic delivery overnight. It's very troubling.

I've seen a lot of the Internet and a lot of it is not...

I've seen a lot of the Internet and a lot of it is not good. But I think that the large cat asking for fruit loøps is great.

Well except WordPress.

Well except WordPress.

Listen to me. There are no winners in a CMS war.

Listen to me. There are no winners in a CMS war.

what if Cats is secretly the sequel to Avatar

I had my wisdom teeth out a few weeks ago and I keep...

I had my wisdom teeth out a few weeks ago and I keep flashing back to it—not because of the pain but because it was this hour when I had no responsibilities and couldn't use social media. Two people were touching me, I was high as hell, and I knew there'd be ice cream later.

People were so pretentious about really dumb lofi indie...

People were so pretentious about really dumb lofi indie rock in the 1990s, the whole era was kind of a Weenage Tasteland.

A piece of software I thought about this weekend that I...

A piece of software I thought about this weekend that I will never create: 1) Take the NYT and parse the meta tags to figure out different people in the stories. 2) Make a roguelike.

People were very nice after my son starting gushing blood...

People were very nice after my son starting gushing blood out of a head wound at the park sprinklers today. Thank you for the paper towels and for looking away from me while I removed my undershirt to clean up all the blood.

It's actually just a 2x engineer they're using binary.

It's actually just a 2x engineer they're using binary.

Vine is back!

Vine is back! https://x.

Caught in Battery tunnel traffic on the bus for 40 mins,...

Caught in Battery tunnel traffic on the bus for 40 mins, losing my patience, until I realized they're probably checking vehicles because of the women's soccer tickertape parade later today, at which pt I immediately thought, that's right, let me wait, keep our sweaty angels safe.

This new thing where you go to a website for some software...

This new thing where you go to a website for some software as a service product you've never seen before, and the tab starts blinking, going "You have two new messages! " in some imaginary "inbox" is shameless garbage.

Saying headless CMS is the same as saying horseless...

Saying headless CMS is the same as saying horseless carriage.

Everyone: you can't reduce philosophy to a bumper...

Everyone: you can't reduce philosophy to a bumper sticker.

wait @ogilvy what?

wait @ogilvy what? https://x.

Full text searchable tweet archive: $ pip install...

Full text searchable tweet archive: $ pip install csvs-to-sqlite datasette [download archive from https://x. com/settings/account …copy it to 'archive' folder …unzip] $ csvs-to-sqlite oldtarch/tweets.

So many wonderful things that RSS solved, lost to time.

@round So many wonderful things that RSS solved, lost to time.

now i'm paranoid

yeah but you could set up a bot to autoreply

there is a short path between m'ladyism and nerds just...

oh god

hmm

It's pronounced learn-ed league isn't it

Okay that was mean I'm sorry.

@jessamyn @mathowie Okay that was mean I'm sorry.

Wait I thought that was just trivia for people who like...

idea: a mailing list where you have to reply to the prompt...

just to get past the part where you want to avoid the...

see http://pizzagan.csail.mit.edu/#Dataset (add olives)

see #Dataset " target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://pizzagan. csail.

i trained a gan on the democratic candidates and had...

more for emotional than practical reasons

the irish don't work that way

a service where someone comes over and you dictate the...

You know I just keep thinking about it. Basically things...

@extrafora You know I just keep thinking about it. Basically things have gotten worse in every way since 2013.

Fair

The movement for active verb tense was purely so the NSA...

@modernserf The movement for active verb tense was purely so the NSA could spy more efficiently.

That's exactly right.

@Bill_Braine That's exactly right.

Alas, no.

@amyhoy Alas, no.

Happy Pride, nerds.

Happy Pride, nerds.

It must be and this must be shopped? I have no memory.

@shabbychef It must be and this must be shopped? I have no memory.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=it.nadolski.bl...

@bn2b https://play. google.

I like when it comes in a giant can like an industrial...

@felixsalmon @heyitsnoah @CJN I like when it comes in a giant can like an industrial solvent.

The way it adds up to $50 is really something else.

@heyitsnoah @felixsalmon @CJN The way it adds up to $50 is really something else.

thank you

I know!

@Maggie @VICEUK I know!

I met Ben when I read at a @textfiles BBS reading. He's...

@alexislloyd @BenLillie I met Ben when I read at a @textfiles BBS reading. He's real cool.

I'm at an MTA-themed comedy/news performance and it's...

I'm at an MTA-themed comedy/news performance and it's really good. https://twitter.

This story is amazing. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/featur...

This story is amazing. https://www.

Thank you!

@keccers Thank you!

Also I mint my own coins.

@RickWebb @buzz Also I mint my own coins.

My 7yo son just said “Brazzers” out loud as we walked to...

My 7yo son just said “Brazzers” out loud as we walked to school and I was sure I was losing my mind. https://twitter.

My kids told me that Iceland is a volcanic island and I...

My kids told me that Iceland is a volcanic island and I said that I knew that, and that the biggest volcano was named Björk.

The first, the second describes a physical phenomenon

It's Field

For every Manic Monday there is a Depressive Tuesday.

For every Manic Monday there is a Depressive Tuesday.

That's nice

I love Earth Abides. It's not great but it's very simple...

@libbybrittain @buzz @robinsloan I love Earth Abides. It's not great but it's very simple and stays with me.

but dina i'm a wizard

harry potter and the gartner magic quadrant

can you get a bachelor's degree in SEO yet

No it's a junior high on Cortelyou which is completely...

@tammieetc No it's a junior high on Cortelyou which is completely useless to me but I do usually go get an omelette after voting.

so are you supposed to drink water or not

They have other people freestyle it but he's 100,000x...

@heatheremerrick They have other people freestyle it but he's 100,000x better.

https://youtu.be/PFtHeo7oMSU

@heatheremerrick https://youtu.

At least the rain stopped.

@kitabet At least the rain stopped.

It was verrrry quiet. Workers outnumbered voters maybe 12...

@kitabet It was verrrry quiet. Workers outnumbered voters maybe 12 to 1.

Three weeks later: Re: re: re: some thoughts on carousel

People criticize NYC but where else do you get to vote...

People criticize NYC but where else do you get to vote every single week?

This book is a next-level Brooklyn 2nd-grade public school...

This book is a next-level Brooklyn 2nd-grade public school artifact, left to right: Dr. Mae Jemison, possibly Temple Grandin, Basquiat, Harvey Milk, Ada Lovelace, Coco Chanel, (not sure), maybe Wilma Rudolph, Maya Angelou, poss.

Daughter's fox https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/11433200808...

Daughter's fox https://twitter.

it's crazy- town banana- pants!

it's crazy- town banana- pants!

A history of the Iraq War, told totally in lies...

A history of the Iraq War, told totally in lies https://samsmitharchives. wordpress.

an enormous amount of consent

this is definitely too many ideas or possibly just one...

oh they're having the free solo guy interviewed by bret...

@Greg_Lindsay oh they're having the free solo guy interviewed by bret stephens this is too good Guided 5K Trail Run @ the Walter Isaacson Center The Internet Era: How Connectivity Is Reshaping the World "This event is not open to adults over 25 years of age.

a koch pavilion incurs certain obligations

oh there's a few that are okay. i recognize some of my...

@Greg_Lindsay oh there's a few that are okay. i recognize some of my fellow thinkfluencers on there making The Ultimate Sacrifice.

what happens to the puppies after i wonder

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1142967814938071040/photo/...

@Greg_Lindsay https://twitter.

It's 7 days long?

@Greg_Lindsay It's 7 days long?

Peter thank you.

@peterseibel Peter thank you.

Never would have thought Alexa.

@Quaison @ashwindeshmukh @semrush @spyfu Never would have thought Alexa.

This is helpful and narrows it down for me. Thank you!

@Quaison @ashwindeshmukh @semrush @spyfu This is helpful and narrows it down for me. Thank you!

When client A comes in and wants a proposal I want to...

@tomcritchlow When client A comes in and wants a proposal I want to quickly know who A's peers are (B, C, and D) and then I want to be able to get lots of detail about A,B,C,&D. Most orgs we talk to have this data in their marketing orgs but not their product orgs.

Apparently the digitally-enabled sous vide device space is...

Apparently the digitally-enabled sous vide device space is filled with tales of bagstabbing. https://twitter.

Poll: Of the various SEO/site/platform competitive analysis...

Poll: Of the various SEO/site/platform competitive analysis tools which do you like best? If none of these four please tell me.

Thank you, Joel. Sigh.

@jpotisch Thank you, Joel. Sigh.

This is majestic

The Heat is an amazing movie and I've watched it four times.

The Heat is an amazing movie and I've watched it four times.

Would I enjoy Nemo Gentleman Vangelis Ganglion?

Would I enjoy Nemo Gentleman Vangelis Ganglion?

oh that's soooooooothing

Heavy rain is God's way of letting us know that NYC's...

Heavy rain is God's way of letting us know that NYC's infrastructure is utterly unprepared for climate change.

Small Wonder

This wouldn't work for the Discord IPO.

@hunterwalk This wouldn't work for the Discord IPO.

A sci-fi story where the main character is an utterly...

A sci-fi story where the main character is an utterly committed activist who spends all their time online arguing their beliefs and then comes to realize they're a bot.

in honor of my 12 years on Twitter oh who gives a shit

I agree completely but certain factions in my own family...

@joshuatopolsky I agree completely but certain factions in my own family are trying to silence my free speech.

Highlines

it's very very likely

Please God how https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/11416585243...

Please God how https://twitter.

I'm going to admit I haven't fully thought this one through.

@theodoreross I'm going to admit I haven't fully thought this one through.

Not enough landfill to make it to SI. But I bet you could...

@theodoreross Not enough landfill to make it to SI. But I bet you could fill in the rest with a trillion dollars or so.

Enough of this bullshit. It's time to fill in the East...

Enough of this bullshit. It's time to fill in the East River and build the quadborough arcology.

They are a team

Don't you dare

All of the @PostlightStudio employees are in town and we...

All of the @PostlightStudio employees are in town and we are all on an emceed bus that has sideways stadium seating. https://twitter.

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1141359919884656640?s=19

@toomuchnick https://twitter. com/ftrain/status/1141359919884656640?

Nick needs a large raise. https://twitter.com/toomuchnick/st...

Nick needs a large raise. https://twitter.

I guess your email went to my spam filter or something.

@toomuchnick I guess your email went to my spam filter or something.

It could be like The Producers, where you accidentally get...

@heyitsal @capndesign @PostlightStudio @richziade It could be like The Producers, where you accidentally get them elected.

This is...entirely appropriate. Even though there are no...

@drewtoothpaste @PostlightStudio @richziade @heyitsal This is... entirely appropriate.

BANNERS. https://twitter.com/PostlightStudio/status/11410208...

BANNERS. https://twitter.

https://imgur.com/a/cHkDz

https://imgur.

lol https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-accidentally

@libovness lol https://knowyourmeme.

Inner self #1: Oh no. Oh god. Oh no. They accidentally an...

Inner self #1 : Oh no. Oh god.

It's going to be a long century....

It's going to be a long century. https://twitter.

The two best parts of every state park....

The two best parts of every state park. https://twitter.

Is this why everyone is talking about mycrowfrontends?

@gnat Is this why everyone is talking about mycrowfrontends?

I'd just like to say that's a very pleasant nook. I'm a...

@SaraJChipps @goldman @hunterwalk @iano I'd just like to say that's a very pleasant nook. I'm a nook fan and I've seen a lot of nooks.

(I won't have surgery for two weeks.)

(I won't have surgery for two weeks.

Judging by tonight the next ten days are not going to fly...

Judging by tonight the next ten days are not going to fly by.

I never would have expected you to have this opinion.

@amyhoy I never would have expected you to have this opinion.

Are dentists even doctors?

@shabbychef Are dentists even doctors?

I'm a fat ruddy giant who wore boots today so I don't think...

@mimismartypants I'm a fat ruddy giant who wore boots today so I don't think I gave off the "minor in creative writing" vibe as much as I would have liked.

Anyway something to look forward to!

Anyway something to look forward to!

Turns out I just need to have my wisdom teeth out and also...

Turns out I just need to have my wisdom teeth out and also one molar that has been destroyed by my wisdom teeth, which is why it's a pulsing ball of woe. So just five of my largest teeth.

I'm 44 and never had a cavity. My molar really hurts in a...

I'm 44 and never had a cavity. My molar really hurts in a new way—like when something touches the tooth it feels like my brain is filled ball lightning.

Kindles make for bad neighbors

Digital alas

Happy Cannes to all the bronds!

Happy Cannes to all the bronds!

Skimming is fine. The ending is exactly what you'd expect.

@willf Skimming is fine. The ending is exactly what you'd expect.

I'm still alive, so it's sure as hell acceptable to skim it.

@aaronlammer I'm still alive, so it's sure as hell acceptable to skim it.

Review: It's a sequel to REAMDE, which, well. First 1/2 is...

Review: It's a sequel to REAMDE, which, well. First 1/2 is fine if you like techno-culture scenery chewed (I do).

Boy that is gold

This is the current winner for all-time shittiest leadgen....

This is the current winner for all-time shittiest leadgen. https://twitter.

That's not us that's t h e a l g o r i t h m

This is very real.

@Emdashes @LunaKayne This is very real.

But seriously in either direction lies blockchains and I...

But seriously in either direction lies blockchains and I just don't have it in me.

I've been told I'm not critical enough of the big tech...

I've been told I'm not critical enough of the big tech platforms by one smart person and not optimistic enough about tech by another smart person and I've never felt more like a smug NYC play-it-down-the-middle dipshit writer. And it's wonderful.

It's pronounced conque

Most people don't think of NYC as a beach town but it is....

Most people don't think of NYC as a beach town but it is. https://twitter.

that's...incredible discipline

@Choire that's...

This is true and I admire you for saying it out loud.

@kate_mckean This is true and I admire you for saying it out loud.

Friends it's Five Star Friday! Go on iTunes and give your...

Friends it's Five Star Friday! Go on iTunes and give your favorite podcast five stars.

This is a great idea!!!!!

@hondanhon This is a great idea!!!!!

🙏

Dooooo it https://twitter.com/mathowie/status/11395173128248...

Dooooo it https://twitter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXi3bjKowJU

@iamjasonk https://www. youtube.

Who you are like the only person in tech whose kids can...

@jenniferdaniel Who you are like the only person in tech whose kids can understand their job.

First one that made me gasp.

@nwfoodette First one that made me gasp.

Dash, @PostlightStudio's app that helps people make...

Dash, @PostlightStudio 's app that helps people make decisions (instead of just chatting all day) is right up there on the Slack app store. http://slack.

My son wants a corgi named sunset

What is an opinion you deeply hold that few people expect...

What is an opinion you deeply hold that few people expect you to have at all? For example, I strongly believe that Ray of Light is the best Madonna album.

The lost opportunity not to name Jordan Peterson's new...

The lost opportunity not to name Jordan Peterson's new social network http://actual. ly.

Just a little preview of the Democratic primary

Don't be a Guy of La Mancha be a Man of La Mancha.

Don't be a Guy of La Mancha be a Man of La Mancha.

Thank you THAT's what I want to see on here.

@AlexJamesFitz @arb @johncolucci @ClifBar @KINDSnacks Thank you THAT's what I want to see on here.

Wow

Hmmm

this is like reading a neal stephenson novel in real time

Oof. It's scary. Glad you're okay.

@capndesign Oof. It's scary.

<toast> is a <marquee> element.

<toast> is a <marquee> element.

My father just emailed this with no further context and it...

My father just emailed this with no further context and it feels like reality is melting. https://twitter.

Salome was the first modern web programmer because she...

Salome was the first modern web programmer because she definitely preferred headless.

I have sprinklers And I am the law

it’s EVERYWHERE

I promised myself I’d stop and yet there I was.

@emilybell I promised myself I’d stop and yet there I was.

Southwestern wrap

You've already made a bad choice namely Pret breakfast. No...

You've already made a bad choice namely Pret breakfast. No further choice can redeem that.

Apparently the only way to tell the difference between...

Apparently the only way to tell the difference between yogurt cups at Pret is by standing there and thoughtfully touching each one.

Pret has like two breakfast items and apparently it's the...

Pret has like two breakfast items and apparently it's the hardest decision some people will ever make.

When will science create a dentist that calls you back?

When will science create a dentist that calls you back?

yes

....

@johnshankman ....

It's my actual job.

@edd It's my actual job.

This is beautifully lazy. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/...

This is beautifully lazy. https://twitter.

(pulls out thick binder) let's start with the recipes

when they all sing about service packs i choke up awful

Weird that Microsoft opened their loft in Times Square but...

@phyllisstein Weird that Microsoft opened their loft in Times Square but I get it.

google was going to open a loft but they opened a mall...

when you first visit amazon loft the coffee is free but...

i'm surprised it's in just one big place and not like 30...

amazon web services has a "loft" in nyc...

amazon web services has a "loft" in nyc https://www. google.

Edit artifacts: "In the quoted commit it's 'Imagemagick'...

Edit artifacts: "In the quoted commit it's 'Imagemagick' but the next sentence has correct 'ImageMagick', god bless the copy editor. " "NO space in changelog...

I would like to share with you, the readers of the New York...

I would like to share with you, the readers of the New York Times Magazine, my deeply normal love of reading open source project git commit logs. https://nyti.

The first jinx is just plain jinx The second jinx is...

Well hell, many belated thanks to Jean Purdy....

Well hell, many belated thanks to Jean Purdy. https://www.

https://twitter.com/ohhleary/status/1138248623815368705?s=19

@patbits https://twitter. com/ohhleary/status/1138248623815368705?

My optimum just died and my neighbors

Yep

200 bars

🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁

This industry takes itself more and more seriously as it...

@felixsalmon @page88 This industry takes itself more and more seriously as it shrinks and that was never what made magazines great. That element of folly is so key and the length was part of the folly.

We were joking about it in comparison to Hersey before it...

@felixsalmon @page88 We were joking about it in comparison to Hersey before it came out. WWII vs JavaScript.

The whole focus was kind of comic. I was known but not a...

@felixsalmon @page88 The whole focus was kind of comic. I was known but not a name.

In objective terms yes, because people continue to read it...

@felixsalmon @page88 In objective terms yes, because people continue to read it and it is referenced as as an intro to the industry, is on syllabi, and I get emails about it from students, etc. For me it's the sense that I got to be part of a totally ridiculous gambit that paid off for everyone.

Also Virginia you...finished your book. Which has many...

@page88 Also Virginia you... finished your book.

It's a comically bad length and it leads to padding and...

@page88 It's a comically bad length and it leads to padding and awkward memoir. Very few subjects can sustain overheated magazine prose for that length.

I'd say I have about 6,000 words of thoughts at $2/word.

I'd say I have about 6,000 words of thoughts at $2/word.

This is not the start of a thread. I just have a lot of...

This is not the start of a thread. I just have a lot of thoughts.

I have a lot of thoughts about cover stories and article...

I have a lot of thoughts about cover stories and article length.

What's PPE?

@maureenflaherty @corescaffold What's PPE?

Mo's world is so different than my world. I noticed that...

Mo's world is so different than my world. I noticed that Core has really good branding.

This is so real, it's fun but it also brings calm, and then...

@speckledwords This is so real, it's fun but it also brings calm, and then who among us can actually put down what they truly believe in concrete terms, and then you're like "ulgh total virgo move.

I think that's a big part of it. I think it starts fun and...

@RobbMonn I think that's a big part of it. I think it starts fun and then it's calming.

people believe all kinds of things and astrology is no...

I mean I get it it's just... Sigh.

I mean I get it it's just... Sigh.

how in the world are people back into astrology

These are really coming along.

@jackrusher These are really coming along.

It's from 6 years ago can't change the past.

@maureenflaherty It's from 6 years ago can't change the past.

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1136584357299261440/photo/...

@Choire @karenmcgrane https://twitter.

The nerd is already in love with the action girl.

The nerd is already in love with the action girl.

Once again in my stupid adult life I am reading a Neal...

Once again in my stupid adult life I am reading a Neal Stephenson novel.

(polygamously) my wives

we can get ice cream and bookshelves

ikea wants you to be there

then there's the cherry blossoms which last about as long...

and I went on an early date there that was nearly fatal, it...

Actually a @richziade axiom but it's become a foundational...

@pauldegnan @jondmatthews @wendynather Actually a @richziade axiom but it's become a foundational rule of the firm.

I want to create a personalized news startup called Some...

I want to create a personalized news startup called Some Personal News and then hire a bunch of people from on here, and just lean back and enjoy the results.

This is what a happy infant feels when it sees a parent's...

This is what a happy infant feels when it sees a parent's face.

This is cool Jeff Bezos and I can take the M55 bus to South...

This is cool Jeff Bezos and I can take the M55 bus to South Ferry together! https://twitter.

This is actually kind of exceptional even for NYC.

@AmandaSvachula This is actually kind of exceptional even for NYC.

Anil knows everything

Sorta serendipitous this posted on Eid and right as I...

Sorta serendipitous this posted on Eid and right as I opened the blinds I saw that the mosque across the street is overflowing with people.

I mean...makes sense.

@jackrusher I mean... makes sense.

Public accountability statement that no matter what future...

Public accountability statement that no matter what future Paul says, he doesn't need to buy any more expensive desktop computers from Apple, and if he says he does please refer him to this tweet.

Teachers should teach this, it is great and offers no easy...

Teachers should teach this, it is great and offers no easy answers aside from “listen. ” https://twitter.

early dot matrix output is known as 24-pincunabula

You know it's a kids eye view but everything is serious,...

@goldman You know it's a kids eye view but everything is serious, the series hits anti-Semitism, class warfare, religious differences, death, corruption, provincialism, etc. It's like fun Ibsen for kids.

Source: this beloved children's classic...

Source: this beloved children's classic https://twitter.

Sometimes you just want those mumps....

Sometimes you just want those mumps. https://twitter.

You can see the pixels https://psmag.com/environment/robot-l...

@quinns You can see the pixels https://psmag.

who's better than havi no one!

@seldo who's better than havi no one!

True classic. Combine it with a very calm walk through...

@brianvan True classic. Combine it with a very calm walk through Marine Park.

Wow that's calming as the birds steadily return to...

Production babies!

@krmaher Production babies!

This thing is cool. https://twitter.com/jasonwbade/status/11...

This thing is cool. https://twitter.

Not adding another decision point to my cognitive workload...

Not adding another decision point to my cognitive workload so that I don't build up a slowly-growing store of resentment towards your product is the ultimate growthhack.

When a SaaS co tells you "we're changing the terms of our...

When a SaaS co tells you "we're changing the terms of our API" could they also tell you "this probably won't affect you based on how you use it" or "this might change your billing structure"? Could an industry use data to help paying customers instead of just upselling them?

No this is great content.

@shabbychef No this is great content.

I know we're supposed to lament adtech but did you ever...

I know we're supposed to lament adtech but did you ever think how many valuable human hours have been spent implementing date pickers.

You're not allowed to ask that in interviews.

You're not allowed to ask that in interviews.

Working at an agency, sometimes I wonder which of our...

Working at an agency, sometimes I wonder which of our employees switched their identity with a dead Lieutenant during the Korean War.

I stared into the abyss and the abyss said good morning.

I stared into the abyss and the abyss said good morning.

I'm out of town with my wife but would greatly enjoy a...

@reppep I'm out of town with my wife but would greatly enjoy a drink or coffee!

Leo Burnett Tailor Made pitch meetings: “I present...the...

Leo Burnett Tailor Made pitch meetings: “I present... the Altria computer virus.

Just hit reload I edited the page.

@perryhewitt Just hit reload I edited the page.

What sucks is the sneaking. For the same investment they...

What sucks is the sneaking. For the same investment they could have contributed to the commons in a transparent and significant way and looked like heroes.

So @maureenflaherty just Slacked me photos of many dresses...

Via @richziade: “Machado Price Per Hit (Pricey!)” - check...

Via @richziade : “Machado Price Per Hit (Pricey! )” - check out my Tinysheet, a mini-spreadsheet by @PostlightStudio #N4IgzgFghgTgpgQRjEAuA2iAjABgAQCecseAxgPYB2ALjFKdSADQgAkAzDl918yAApwYeAJrEULALwAhLAHpcfJSwTU8AIyjUwfAKy8WACQCW2vlnYAmPtK3VjlAOZ4EAN0d9JACnW656gBYASgAqXAMQZQEYY1I4PEFhE0YpaUs5aV0QAF0WSDg4agAVUwAbODQQAFl6aAATcgSYuIShPGS8L35muAIAQiCQAF8gA " target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://tinysheet.

Just slow little waves in the breeze leaving lily pads...

@Bill_Braine @EdenMKennedy Just slow little waves in the breeze leaving lily pads unconcerned.

I saw an article today about "how to get into PJ Harvey"...

Kind of you, but I'm not sure that anyone wins in the Crash...

@fimoculous @toomuchnick Kind of you, but I'm not sure that anyone wins in the Crash Test Dummies::Dave Matthews juxtaposition.

There they go!

@EdenMKennedy There they go!

Anyone: Feelin' stylish! Fashion editors: Better be...

Anyone: Feelin' stylish! Fashion editors: Better be effortless.

I'm missing the office Yankees game outing (+ snack/beer...

I'm missing the office Yankees game outing (+ snack/beer wristband) to finish something important and I've never felt more like I have to stay in and practice my violin in my entire life.

just utterly pleasant, low drama, could be slightly over or...

Exactly.

@chicagomom Exactly.

I waved first!

@tolar I waved first!

I started keeping a little video album of calming scenes....

I started keeping a little video album of calming scenes. https://twitter.

Peaceful https://imgur.com/gallery/NeeXX2W

Peaceful https://imgur.

I have no memory of this morning and yet somehow the kids...

I have no memory of this morning and yet somehow the kids got to school and I ended up at work.

Cryptocurrency okay

Everyone in Texas is now a licensed plumber. This is real.

@maureenflaherty @tylermarab Everyone in Texas is now a licensed plumber. This is real.

with harpers above no less

one from the vaullllt (also https://www.vice.com/en_us/artic...

one from the vaullllt (also https://www. vice.

by myself I mean, not by you, you can tweet whatever you...

If you feel attacked well I also feel attacked

Twitter person: hey tweeps what's your favorite...

Twitter person: hey tweeps what's your favorite color?

Do you have a goofy pop song you love, but it's been...

Do you have a goofy pop song you love, but it's been rendered unlistenable by constant use in commercials, TV, and movies? Mine is "Love Train.

Why did the algorithm let me tweet this.

Why did the algorithm let me tweet this.

Morning Aaron.

@aaronlammer Morning Aaron.

This is one of those book titles where it really means...

This is one of those book titles where it really means something different if it's fiction or non-fiction. https://twitter.

Just a few of the people I love the most. But look, it...

@0x00B1 @jennschiffer Just a few of the people I love the most. But look, it never gets old.

And boy are my arms tired!

@jennschiffer And boy are my arms tired!

Back on the bike and time to bump this 2012 classic....

Back on the bike and time to bump this 2012 classic. https://twitter.

Whoa! thank you, Evelyn

@tummycom Whoa!

RIGHT that's the good stuff. It's fine if it doesn't meet...

@twybv RIGHT that's the good stuff. It's fine if it doesn't meet my exact needs, I just want something I can actually learn from.

Also: CMS, CRM, lots of other stuff kind of fits into this...

@jmiralva Also: CMS, CRM, lots of other stuff kind of fits into this model.

Automatically. I'm thinking that given ...

@jmiralva Automatically. I'm thinking that given https://rcdexta.

A language or descriptive grammar that could power a kanban...

A language or descriptive grammar that could power a kanban board basically. Is there something people reach for or is it just so simple we all roll our own?

I know it's Saturday night, and I'm going to ask a question...

I know it's Saturday night, and I'm going to ask a question that reveals my true self and I need you all to be chill. Here goes: Is there a good DSL for business process automation or a simplified version of BPNM out there?

i got Docker working on my Ubuntu laptop so that's 2014...

i got Docker working on my Ubuntu laptop so that's 2014 worked out.

[Imagine lots of heart and kindness-related emoji in...

Put the gum down before you lose everything. Is what I just...

Put the gum down before you lose everything. Is what I just said to my daughter.

Prisoners?

@timbray Prisoners?

Whoa that cover

That looks... satisfying

@sophaskins That looks...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just went back and read the...

@JessicaFKane I'm so sorry for your loss. I just went back and read the interview she did about working at Playboy, because I love it, and was struck by this paragraph.

Whoa

more accurately, since Tuesday

one week!

@obra one week!

Make 'em count!

@tomcoates @ginatrapani Make 'em count!

gina this is how i market

Meetings add up so much. Shorter meetings or fewer meetings...

Meetings add up so much. Shorter meetings or fewer meetings can give you back whole years of working life.

I think about these numbers a lot and what you can do to...

I think about these numbers a lot and what you can do to change them or make them meaningful #N4IgzgFghgTgpgQRjEAuA2iA6gexgawEsA7AcwAIAbQgMzgHoBPGMEAGhABZP2QAJFvQAmURrwAcvXARIURjMExQcATADYAjLwAycMGHIA3KAGMoAF0I5i5eaw4aArFLxEy5CDgCuLXgF4AIQ0AKgCVYIAKAIBmAFoAzgBKXgBZODhLMgMABzgYW1FeaNT0zIpKODJzCHoIZRAtDgEDEnIAW1LZexBAkIC1UIB2SJj4pN5mqjgac3IcQzz -AMd4yQBdDkhSgBVCcwq0bFdZD28WclaoKlo4EABfIA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://tinysheet. com/?

There is no better judge of design than @redkeg....

There is no better judge of design than @redkeg . https://twitter.

Proud to contribute.

@AREdotNA Proud to contribute.

Future BBC journalist: In your book you write that many...

Future BBC journalist: In your book you write that many controversial figures on social media died violently. Author: I did.

I sort of feel for the next mail carrier.

@margarita I sort of feel for the next mail carrier.

Dothrakis are all curvy knife guys...

Dothrakis are all curvy knife guys https://twitter.

Can't read it, reached my free article limit.

@jimaley @BW Can't read it, reached my free article limit.

And I owe you a bottle of wine.

@RogerDHodge And I owe you a bottle of wine.

Just look at this ridiculousness. We love building...

Just look at this ridiculousness. We love building platforms.

Developer friends, we all use Salesforce. It's no longer a...

Developer friends, we all use Salesforce. It's no longer a choice.

Hang in there friend. It'll work out.

@tcarmody Hang in there friend. It'll work out.

I feel that in terms of Personal Branding Moments I am...

I feel that in terms of Personal Branding Moments I am being pretty chill.

Look whose article is going to represent 0.00000000000001%...

Look whose article is going to represent 0. 00000000000001% of Apple's revenue for the next month, you're welcome Tim Cook https://twitter.

I truly love this laptop and if spies want to read my...

@film_girl I truly love this laptop and if spies want to read my article drafts then so be it.

Friends, I tweeted out a netlify dev URL. I cannot ever...

Friends, I tweeted out a netlify dev URL. I cannot ever escape this shame.

this reminds me! i just found my checkbook!

@jessamyn this reminds me! i just found my checkbook!

It's wild isn't it.

@chriscoyier It's wild isn't it.

That said, I've never used docker ee with docker beans,...

That said, I've never used docker ee with docker beans, just docker cesna (community edition snapless no apt) edition which currently doesn't work because it hardcoded a camel-cased path to a case-sensitive virtualbox binary.

Lol

It used to be that you had to spend all your time...

It used to be that you had to spend all your time sysadminning your local dev environments to make anything work, but what's cool now is that when you write software with docker you get to sysadmin an essentially infinite number of machines.

There's a great guest list for tonight's @PostlightStudio...

There's a great guest list for tonight's @PostlightStudio labs product unveiling event and given that the weather is good and it's a Tuesday somewhere between 50 and 500 people will show up, including all of your friends. See you tonight!

Brace yourself. Everything is good about it except the...

@RGA @heyitsnoah Brace yourself. Everything is good about it except the people.

There once was a tall Delawarian Thus fiscally quite...

Bill it's obviously got to be 300 linked limericks

Okay I'll do it

Are you asking for pitches?

@billwasik Are you asking for pitches?

It lasted exactly the right amount of time.

@DavidLublin It lasted exactly the right amount of time.

In conclusion, digital strategy is a land of contrasts.

@kzwa In conclusion, digital strategy is a land of contrasts.

AT&T owns HBO which means that their CEO sits upon the...

AT&T owns HBO which means that their CEO sits upon the Iron Phone.

whoa

lol

Alice: "Bob does no real work. It's all buzzwords. He's a...

Alice: "Bob does no real work. It's all buzzwords.

People say America sucks but we just found five brand new...

People say America sucks but we just found five brand new water pistols on a stoop right after getting pancakes.

See this is the stuff I think of whenever people talk about...

@said_mitch @modernserf See this is the stuff I think of whenever people talk about how comic books are our sacred modern myths handed down by geniuses.

I'm imagining the Straussian reimagining of the Carvel song...

@modernserf I'm imagining the Straussian reimagining of the Carvel song used for the the theme.

Is it Lowdown?

@ChappellTracker Is it Lowdown?

I am out standing. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1129780...

I am out standing. https://twitter.

Proud to say I just deleted a tweet before posting it. It...

Proud to say I just deleted a tweet before posting it. It was about a section of a prominent local newspaper.

Likely

Right, see, again.

@jennschiffer Right, see, again.

I know I'm getting older because I don't understand why in...

I know I'm getting older because I don't understand why in 2019 sex includes Rachel Weisz running you over in a car.

Yep!

@esouthard Yep!

I already ate all of those.

@modernserf I already ate all of those.

My son was briefly incredibly interested in web browser...

My son was briefly incredibly interested in web browser cookies, until I explained them.

She doesn't actually sleep though

Oh this was mere minutes I'm too tired to do anything but...

Thank you for saying those nice things though.

@goldman @maureenflaherty Thank you for saying those nice things though.

If you can't handle me at my shitpostiest you don't deserve...

@goldman @maureenflaherty If you can't handle me at my shitpostiest you don't deserve me at my essayisticest.

That's no peer sir, that's my wife!

@maureenflaherty That's no peer sir, that's my wife!

A British guy asked if my wife was in the House of Lords...

A British guy asked if my wife was in the House of Lords and I said, That's https://twitter.

That's cool

What did you export to?

@kzwa What did you export to?

it was something else all right

god this was 2001 when were you there

yes

he could also have run over a cyclist on the way

Jacob you're talking to someone in the press, we don't...

@harrisj @michaelroston Jacob you're talking to someone in the press, we don't comment on leeks.

POLL: Tomorrow's de Blasio announcement...

POLL: Tomorrow's de Blasio announcement...

Next Tuesday evening, May 21, at @PostlightStudio we are...

Next Tuesday evening, May 21, at @PostlightStudio we are having a party and launching/sharing out a vast trove of Postlight Labs projects. https://www.

That's very kind and I'm happy to hear it! Also, and I do...

@Mstreshinsky @WIRED That's very kind and I'm happy to hear it! Also, and I do not say this lightly, @vtitunik is a good editor.

I haven't listened I'm sort of nervous to. FOO is fun it's...

@jennschiffer @mathowie @WIRED I haven't listened I'm sort of nervous to. FOO is fun it's turbonerds and thoughtful nerds and my favorite, XML document pipeline nerds.

“this isn't a joke Katelyn”

Sigh. I really wanted to come.

@PurpleGrayKJS @matlock Sigh. I really wanted to come.

Oh yeah that's an actual possibility.

@kjhealy Oh yeah that's an actual possibility.

POLL: When they reboot the Avengers franchise in 2029

Okay sure. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/112864952523573...

Okay sure. https://twitter.

Blogged

Thank you so much for what you do. I'm proud to help...

@humanutility @WIRED @BlackGirlsCode @VetsWhoCode @jessamyn Thank you so much for what you do. I'm proud to help citizens get their water back on!

what does muting get me

Paul.

@PostlightStudio Paul.

Harper's interns would sometimes go on Harper's Bazaar...

@espiers Harper's interns would sometimes go on Harper's Bazaar junkets.

I am grateful for all the good things that come to me, like...

I am grateful for all the good things that come to me, like the opportunity to write cover stories for national magazines that I've read for 25 years. Amongst those good things I count your tweets, DMs, and emails (paul.

These are inclusive charities, run by women and/or people...

These are inclusive charities, run by women and/or people of color. Several teach people who are marginalized by tech-at-large how to wield some of the power of this industry in their own interests, and one uses a technology platform to directly reduce suffering.

The piece talks about moral responsibility, so in the...

The piece talks about moral responsibility, so in the interest of putting my money where my words are, I'm splitting my fee (thanks @WIRED ! ) between four charities: @BlackGirlsCode , @VetsWhoCode , @jessamyn 's Vermont Drop-In, and @humanutility .

I hope you'll find this essay useful (love/hate/annoyance)...

I hope you'll find this essay useful (love/hate/annoyance) as you navigate your own individual path through the superstructure of global platform technocracy. It was hard to write, and hugely helped along by a great editor, @vtitunik , who gently encouraged much rewriting.

They put it on the cover. Long low whistle! Getting a quote...

They put it on the cover. Long low whistle!

A few months ago @WIRED asked me to write down what I still...

A few months ago @WIRED asked me to write down what I still love about tech, now that the industry's shine is dulled by mass distrust. Here it is: https://www.

POLL: Best Java technology

Heeeeeeelp please. https://twitter.com/maureenflaherty/statu...

Heeeeeeelp please. https://twitter.

This is a public cervix announcement....

This is a public cervix announcement. https://twitter.

lol but i'd rather hear what other people are working on. i...

@ballingt @mogwai_poet lol but i'd rather hear what other people are working on. i probably get to have 500-1500 conversations a year if I'm having a busy year, it helps me see the world in lots of different ways.

Although Jenn's right about consent.

@ballingt @mogwai_poet Although Jenn's right about consent.

Sure, except...in reality when you meet them most people...

@ballingt @mogwai_poet Sure, except... in reality when you meet them most people really want to talk and be seen, not ask questions.

Most superhero movies are just about people getting dressed.

Most superhero movies are just about people getting dressed.

Listen ... everyone should watch Octonauts.

@livlab Listen ... everyone should watch Octonauts.

I will never tire of it. As you know.

@ballingt @bangbangcon @PostlightStudio I will never tire of it. As you know.

True lost opportunity there wasn't a biopic starring a...

@essl True lost opportunity there wasn't a biopic starring a younger Steve Carell.

(Making conversation at the sandwich shop.) And is there a...

(Making conversation at the sandwich shop. ) And is there a ma-nini?

Heh you can almost see the office from there.

@ballingt @bangbangcon @PostlightStudio Heh you can almost see the office from there.

I'm absolutely MMM

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1126902519874170880/photo/...

@lmatsakis https://twitter.

tag yourself i'm sfih''ihsagjlsaglksd';hksdakn'awgr'hk;agr...

tag yourself i'm sfih''ihsagjlsaglksd';hksdakn'awgr'hk;agr https://twitter.

i mean...a single HTML web page with entries in reverse...

@Aelkus i mean...

thank god

Me: I would like a KING’S HAWAIIAN® SMOKEHOUSE BRISKET with...

Me: I would like a KING’S HAWAIIAN® SMOKEHOUSE BRISKET with CURLY FRIES and a BARQ’S ROOT BEER®. Stranger: Sir this is Twitter.

Abraham...Linked In

@UrsusCalifas Abraham...

As an agency @PostlightStudio receives a goodly number of...

As an agency @PostlightStudio receives a goodly number of Requests for Proposals for Website projects. We love to help our clients any way we can.

An imbalanced marketplace needed balance. Isn't this what...

@patbits @toomuchnick An imbalanced marketplace needed balance. Isn't this what venture capitalists are always telling us?

you need to write a review/article on these but it's one of...

burns but fair

Why are you reading all my old magazine pieces.

@marklotto Why are you reading all my old magazine pieces.

I'm going to bed to avoid the consequences.

I'm going to bed to avoid the consequences.

Social media has divided our nation. We need a president to...

Social media has divided our nation. We need a president to unify us.

This is very tricky the more I think about it....

This is very tricky the more I think about it. https://twitter.

Sure! Come talk about how you do design research at MSFT...

@spladow @thomasrhiel @Choire Sure! Come talk about how you do design research at MSFT and we'll talk about how we build products.

My dream is to watch Thomas use OneNote on his Surface Pro...

@spladow @thomasrhiel @Choire My dream is to watch Thomas use OneNote on his Surface Pro to observe Times editors using Oak while taking notes in a graph paper notebook that I will immediately lose.

This is a true blockchain mess which is really saying...

This is a true blockchain mess which is really saying something. https://www.

God me too

Well it's also nowhere near cynical enough for NYC. Maybe...

@libbybrittain Well it's also nowhere near cynical enough for NYC. Maybe Philly.

Breakfast in America just feels so NYC to me because of the...

@libbybrittain Breakfast in America just feels so NYC to me because of the cover. They're coming from Britain in the 70s.

I want VP the office is bigger.

@mariabustillos @bluechoochoo @jennydeluxe I want VP the office is bigger.

oh wow does that hold up i haven't seen it in 24 years

Maybe the next planet will be better.

@patbits Maybe the next planet will be better.

Opening and closing my mouth like a fish....

Opening and closing my mouth like a fish. https://twitter.

People refer to exceptional artists/singers on Twitter by...

@capndesign People refer to exceptional artists/singers on Twitter by saying "she has the range. " Bruce Hornsby is a recording artist who was huge in the 1980s with his band, as Bruce Hornsby and The Range.

Bruce Hornsby...he had the range

Bruce Hornsby...

“solid”

somehow it never sticks.

@aaronshapiro somehow it never sticks.

Imagine Twitter with this red button....

Imagine Twitter with this red button. https://twitter.

Dreamworld I mean.

Dreamworld I mean.

Theory: GoT is a barista's fever dream and she's about to...

Theory: GoT is a barista's fever dream and she's about to wake up, so reality is starting to bleed through into the dreamwork. This explains why no character's name is spelled correctly.

Do we truly feel love, or do we feel Love, Actually? We can...

Do we truly feel love, or do we feel Love, Actually? We can never know.

Maybe that's the whole point of this site, to show every...

Maybe that's the whole point of this site, to show every digital friend and acquaintance repeating the same joke over and over for hours, like a 1970s black box theater experiment, to let us all know that all we do when we speak is share pointers to the void.

It's not even 7am and it's clear that the Starbucks cup...

It's not even 7am and it's clear that the Starbucks cup goof in Game of Thrones is going to render Twitter unusable for much of the day.

We got away with glue!

@briansholis We got away with glue!

We did a Harry Potter themed yoga YouTube class as a family...

We did a Harry Potter themed yoga YouTube class as a family since it was raining, and it was not extremely dignified.

Mayyybe but IDK, “Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles...

@Shawn00Guerra Mayyybe but IDK, “Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles or CHOAM, essentially controls all economic affairs across the cosmos, although it relies upon the Spacing Guild for transport across space due to the Guild's monopoly on faster-than-light travel.

If I lived in the Duniverse I would name my hamster CHOAM...

If I lived in the Duniverse I would name my hamster CHOAM Nomsky.

He loves her more but I got to stay home....

He loves her more but I got to stay home. https://twitter.

Yes we have turned off discussions. Sigh.

@tolar Yes we have turned off discussions. Sigh.

Six years no change.

Six years no change.

I would never suggest people use Asana.

@davidhsiegel I would never suggest people use Asana.

I showed my kids that we, too, used to have Scholastic Book...

I showed my kids that we, too, used to have Scholastic Book Fair catalogs, and they asked, what's wrong with Garfield? So I tried to explain Heathcliff and after 20 minutes of clips and cartoons and blogs I am so much more confused.

Scrolling through this is a terrifying rollercoaster of...

Scrolling through this is a terrifying rollercoaster of blackout rage and lifelong love. https://twitter.

Good luck @patbits. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/112434...

Good luck @patbits . https://twitter.

It's a pathological and infantilizing relationship that...

@baekdal @pilhofer @jeffjarvis It's a pathological and infantilizing relationship that might have made sense once but in a dwindling market limits the control journalists have over their own destiny! (Although most orgs never tell you how they actually make money and you have to figure it out.

The tweets are tearing @PostlightStudio apart. There's room...

@jakesutton @mathowie @ginatrapani The tweets are tearing @PostlightStudio apart. There's room for everyone in digital media content marketing platforms.

I've been saying, “oh, life,” for ten years but recently it...

I've been saying, “oh, life,” for ten years but recently it hasn't been ironic at all.

I could just redirect it to svbtle

It's totally fine.

@merveille It's totally fine.

Do you want http://platisher.com I own it

@jbenton Do you want http://platisher.

Looking forward to seeing this on a mug.

@ginatrapani @mathowie @richziade Looking forward to seeing this on a mug.

She went to bed!

@drewSaysGoVeg She went to bed!

aajgdkak;klhfsljnjfb https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/mod...

aajgdkak;klhfsljnjfb https://www. mcsweeneys.

This publication features great nerd content (see the JPEG...

This publication features great nerd content (see the JPEG editor built into this page) and each file can be downloaded as a WARC file to encourage decentralized archiving of interactive content. It's...

Sigh.

@AmandaSvachula Sigh.

Found right here: https://mltshp.com/p/1G133

Found right here: https://mltshp.

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1123789371428233216/photo/...

https://twitter.

This is from six years ago so you understand what I'm going...

This is from six years ago so you understand what I'm going through right now. https://twitter.

Yeah it's a rough one.

@katiedrumm Yeah it's a rough one.

My daughter told me tonight to turn off Twitter "so you can...

My daughter told me tonight to turn off Twitter "so you can be there for me" and I can't identify any fault in the request.

the magician got very sore

We had a Khaleesi at the kids daycare five or six years...

@TaylorLorenz @heatheremerrick We had a Khaleesi at the kids daycare five or six years ago. They called her Leesi.

I am an awful fidget.

@krucoff I am an awful fidget.

no god

well @harper knew that i grew up doing children's puppetry...

he is a @dylanreed creation

I left to teach a class and they put the puppet of me on my...

I left to teach a class and they put the puppet of me on my new boots. That's the DuoLingo owl face-down behind the puppet; it was watching and fell over.

AND MY AXE

soul mining is 40 and storm the studio is 30 so I bought...

I finished an essay last week, and I know that people will...

I finished an essay last week, and I know that people will find it problematic on social media, but it won't be published for a few weeks, so I am in a state of extreme banticipation.

Yes, this is how it happens.

@harper @dylanreed Yes, this is how it happens.

Hey congratulations! That's going to be great!

@john_overholt Hey congratulations! That's going to be great!

Thank you, Roy. We’ve never exchanged invites but I’m...

@roybahat Thank you, Roy. We’ve never exchanged invites but I’m committed to this strategy, and it’s good to be seen.

Nothing is better than a 1960s kids joke book bought at the...

Nothing is better than a 1960s kids joke book bought at the used book store for an impromptu feminist theory teaching text.

When McWatters says he's looking for input and feedback...

When McWatters says he's looking for input and feedback because he's re-designing this, he means it. He's working hard to build the simplest communication tool he can and he listens very intently.

You know people are always talking about how ancient...

You know people are always talking about how ancient sculpture was painted to be lifelike and that sounds kind of cool? And then I saw this.

Conclusion: tetanus booster

New Jersey. Just walking along in a park.

@Bill_Braine New Jersey. Just walking along in a park.

Here is the snake that just bit my wife. Both snake and...

Here is the snake that just bit my wife. Both snake and wife seem to be okay.

Know your funnel! https://postlight.com/trackchanges/podcast...

Know your funnel! https://postlight.

Man that GIF had a satisfying ending.

@flantz @dantootill @simoncarless Man that GIF had a satisfying ending.

I find Notability really fluid for scribbling all over PDFs.

@ibogost I find Notability really fluid for scribbling all over PDFs.

This ends beautifully. That's right, my god. Throw it away...

This ends beautifully. That's right, my god.

Stellar replies https://twitter.com/reynagarama/status/11187...

Stellar replies https://twitter.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/nation/2019/02/27/gun...

https://www. washingtonpost.

Podcasts are like blogging but if people actually cared!

@markhurst @fimoculous @mathowie Podcasts are like blogging but if people actually cared!

Both

Peppa Pig (snort snort, snort snort snort snort...

We drive past a store called FOX FLOORS. Me to kids: I'm a...

We drive past a store called FOX FLOORS. Me to kids: I'm a fox and I want to give my gurl fren somethin speshul.

God damn this is strong.

@modernserf God damn this is strong.

They are occasionally wonderful ephemera distributors

God bless little free libraries...

God bless little free libraries https://twitter.

Thank you, Joyce.

@joycekaye Thank you, Joyce.

Ela just email me I'm ford@ftrain.com.

@elaorleans Ela just email me I'm ford @ftrain . com.

You get the sense that comes up a lot, even at holiday...

@tjowens You get the sense that comes up a lot, even at holiday meals.

Cuz they're all building apps and forgot that the world...

@xxbobbyzxx Cuz they're all building apps and forgot that the world runs on documents.

Scalable asses for the long haul.

@vandergoog Scalable asses for the long haul.

That's the thing I'm having that conversation send me a...

@mattmoehr That's the thing I'm having that conversation send me a photo.

See PDF matters https://www.pdfa.org/a-technical-and-cultura...

See PDF matters https://www. pdfa.

See exactly

I made so little from web dev I had to go into publishing!

@karenmcgrane @seldo I made so little from web dev I had to go into publishing!

Oh yeah

Right? It made me love people even though some individuals...

@ryanvailbrown Right? It made me love people even though some individuals were bad.

Really good first-person story about helping asylum seekers...

Really good first-person story about helping asylum seekers in Texas, by @gob . https://www.

How's the weather, do you have cats, no I'm not the famous...

How's the weather, do you have cats, no I'm not the famous character actor, what computer are you using, do you believe in ghosts, etc.

I miss interacting at a personal level with hundreds or...

I miss interacting at a personal level with hundreds or even thousands of people via email. Twitter is broadcast, not the same.

It makes me realize one thing I loved running the web and...

It makes me realize one thing I loved running the web and building the archive at Harper's: Responding to hundreds upon hundreds of actual bananacakes enraged help requests. Sometimes I'd ask, "Do you have a grandchild?

One thing about actually advertising our company online is...

One thing about actually advertising our company online is that I now get lots of emails with body text like WANT BUILD ASS and I just write back and go, "hey, James, good to hear from you, what kind of ass are you trying to build?

This joke about axe throwing laid an egg and now I'm gonna...

This joke about axe throwing laid an egg and now I'm gonna hatchet.

Axe throwing places are turning Brooklyn into a giant...

Axe throwing places are turning Brooklyn into a giant shopping maul. https://twitter.

i'm angry now I'm on Twitter and I'm angry...

i'm angry now I'm on Twitter and I'm angry https://motherboard. vice.

proud that my brand is math pun shitposting

It is illegal to say that an apartment building is prime...

It is illegal to say that an apartment building is prime real estate, because it has been divided.

I had strep thumb as a kid. It was bad.

@KllrDave I had strep thumb as a kid. It was bad.

Daaaaadddd

The white dots are

Singularity can't get here fast enough to free us from...

Singularity can't get here fast enough to free us from bodies. This shit never happens to Matrioshka Brains.

My wife just sent me a picture of my son's weird blister so...

My wife just sent me a picture of my son's weird blister so now I'm on the bus looking through all kinds of blisters for the closest match and may throw up.

Time Inc had pneumatic tubes connecting to typing ladies.

@TaylorLorenz Time Inc had pneumatic tubes connecting to typing ladies.

https://open.spotify.com/user/ftrain2000/playlist/4nyY81T1iT...

@danbri https://open. spotify.

Portrait. Always portrait.

@hananc @PostlightStudio Portrait. Always portrait.

What person are we destroying, who are we destroying them...

@sippey @goldman What person are we destroying, who are we destroying them for, and how are we going to measure defeat?

NYC: I know we were going to talk but I gotta file these...

NYC: I know we were going to talk but I gotta file these briefs and the car alarms won't stop going off. (Drinks bottle of wine, one gulp).

I think of Philly as NYCs cool weird aunt who dgaf and this...

I think of Philly as NYCs cool weird aunt who dgaf and this reinforced that a lot. https://twitter.

I need help. Sales help. Coordination help. So much help....

I need help. Sales help.

Okay but it should just be "wow."

@redkeg Okay but it should just be "wow.

Me: “Section 1” Designers: “0000000001”

http://Lobste.rs

@capndesign http://Lobste.

Have you played the game of it, it's kind of fun.

@karenmcgrane Have you played the game of it, it's kind of fun.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/11181371...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa https://twitter.

Every essay is like making a new friend. The article where...

Every essay is like making a new friend. The article where the tree fell on the house, I'm pretty sure that happened to me now.

I gave them lots of money don't @ me.

I gave them lots of money don't @ me.

I need @popula to survive so I can....

I need @popula to survive so I can. https://twitter.

*extremely Morrissey voice* I know I know it's serious

Dearest Umberto, I hope this email finds you still living...

So many op-ed and cultural editors trying to remember if...

So many op-ed and cultural editors trying to remember if Umberto Eco is still alive right now.

greg you are such a nerd

(I really like Powers too and he's more my speed.)

@Greg_Lindsay (I really like Powers too and he's more my speed.

DFW wrote the BIG BOOK, was fully engaged with pop culture,...

@Greg_Lindsay DFW wrote the BIG BOOK, was fully engaged with pop culture, and had severe mental illness that killed him. I don't make the rules.

I mean...he has a MacArthur...but to your point he's kind...

@Greg_Lindsay I mean... he has a MacArthur...

Flawleſs

$300

document object model of finland

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1117533975390707712/photo/...

https://twitter.

actual picture of programmers programming...

actual picture of programmers programming https://twitter.

https://peteipsum.netlify.com/

@karenmcgrane https://peteipsum. netlify.

Spirit of Eatin'

It's over the top pretty in spots, which was so confusing...

@tressiemcphd It's over the top pretty in spots, which was so confusing because it's trash.

Every now and then it syncs up with reality.

@l_n0te Every now and then it syncs up with reality.

At some point Mayor Pete will yell at Senator Warren, “I...

At some point Mayor Pete will yell at Senator Warren, “I saved Latin. What did you ever do?

The Democratic nomination race is like watching the first...

The Democratic nomination race is like watching the first five minutes of a Wes Anderson film where the camera keeps moving up and down and through walls to introduce the characters but it's slowed down to last a full year.

God you're such a Hermione.

@bn2b God you're such a Hermione.

The awful sense that there will be an incident.

@goldman @maureenflaherty The awful sense that there will be an incident.

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1116871296086945797/photo/...

@jessfraz https://twitter.

We have these at work! (they're mine). Also available on...

@epc @jessfraz We have these at work! (they're mine).

this is a deeply blessed image

Midtown is lava. https://twitter.com/kristoncapps/status/111...

Midtown is lava. https://twitter.

I'm slightly lightheaded looking at this good sweetness.

@RachelFersh @toomuchnick I'm slightly lightheaded looking at this good sweetness.

I like to send them to our "vendor intake form." I also...

@mulegirl I like to send them to our "vendor intake form. " I also write back with nonsense questions like "do you have any experience with CRM for salmon farming?

“Plus, of course, your piece, if you can actually get it...

“Plus, of course, your piece, if you can actually get it done in time. ” https://twitter.

why yet yelled at by strangers all day it's demoralizing

It's gone forever only to be found in our hearts.

@kliksf It's gone forever only to be found in our hearts.

Oh they have reasons.

@drewtoothpaste Oh they have reasons.

When context collapses nothing can escape.

@phillydesign When context collapses nothing can escape.

Had to delete the nice tweet because it was going to be...

Had to delete the nice tweet because it was going to be popular.

Humans have their ups and downs but we can definitely turn...

Humans have their ups and downs but we can definitely turn a whole planet into a telescope.

Please for the love of all that is holy, do the brand...

Please for the love of all that is holy, do the brand first. https://postlight.

I mean I bet you also drink coffee and think about dogs.

@nicksrockwell I mean I bet you also drink coffee and think about dogs.

But that's exactly it how often are we forced to just...

@nicksrockwell But that's exactly it how often are we forced to just contemplate the weird lives of others? You have a whole life, friends, family, and I just assume you're at the NYT barking orders like I SAID BRING UP 150 A1.

It's fully stocked in my corner market, I am terrified of...

@elaorleans It's fully stocked in my corner market, I am terrified of having to pronounce it.

It is extremely bad news for our innocence.

It is extremely bad news for our innocence.

In an extremely unexpected and deeply unfortunate turn of...

In an extremely unexpected and deeply unfortunate turn of events the boys of summer are back in town.

See exactly.

@perryhewitt See exactly.

Does Mark Knopfler have a favorite pierogi place? Or it...

Does Mark Knopfler have a favorite pierogi place? Or it more like, there is this amazing Azerbaijani restaurant on Długa.

I love how you'll dig something like Dire Straits up in...

I love how you'll dig something like Dire Straits up in Spotify and it will tell you that Mark Knopfler is playing in July in Gdánsk. It's perfectly irrelevant and I can think of nothing else.

Sure but when I saw that there were thousands I went hahaha...

@justinhendrix Sure but when I saw that there were thousands I went hahaha of course.

Lol of course Wednesday Wisdom is a thing. This platform.

Lol of course Wednesday Wisdom is a thing. This platform.

In my 20s I saw successful people in my orbit as fraudulent...

In my 20s I saw successful people in my orbit as fraudulent sellouts who didn't deserve their success. In my 40s those same people are as often as not...

Looking in @maureenflaherty who loves California history.

@margarita Looking in @maureenflaherty who loves California history.

Lots of people coming but not a terrifying number so...

Lots of people coming but not a terrifying number so sliders for all! https://twitter.

Whatever this thing is, it had a terrible adolescence....

Whatever this thing is, it had a terrible adolescence. https://twitter.

It's short for Elizaveth.

@maureenflaherty @diffkid @CriticalRole It's short for Elizaveth.

But ... antennas. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/11155993...

But ... antennas.

This elf blessed my timeline yesterday and looks a...

This elf blessed my timeline yesterday and looks a little/dresses a lot like my wife, @maureenflaherty , so I sent the picture to her and said "Your ears look good in this photo," but now she wants to know where it's from, and you can't find anything on Twitter. Does anyone know?

You gotta tip 20% or more.

You gotta tip 20% or more.

I am proud to be a fountain of nightmares.

@bluechoochoo @aexm @LinkedIn @Microsoft I am proud to be a fountain of nightmares.

This is real nice. https://twitter.com/jeremyzilar/status/11...

This is real nice. https://twitter.

If they made PralineToffee Amoretto you could order another...

If they made PralineToffee Amoretto you could order another case of it. https://twitter.

Well then let's get coffee!

@moth Well then let's get coffee!

Tim it's been so long!

@moth Tim it's been so long!

We've been workshopping stationery-oriented jokes all...

We've been workshopping stationery-oriented jokes all weekend. So far we have: Q: What kind of party do a pen and pencil throw for a tape dispenser?

Roll'N'Roaster!

@mep Roll'N'Roaster!

Yep, that's me, the butter and jelly inside an...

@kevintwohy @libbybrittain @goldman Yep, that's me, the butter and jelly inside an Obama/Calvino toasted everything bagel.

Just sort of a sad yeah

Yes

My son just watched me use Twitter for a few minutes, and...

My son just watched me use Twitter for a few minutes, and finally he asked, "Is that endless?

WONTFIX is a great title for a book on social media and...

@goldman WONTFIX is a great title for a book on social media and politics.

Democratic presidential candidates on Twitter is...

Democratic presidential candidates on Twitter is unbelievably bad. It's just pure hell discourse and worse, I see which friends liked what, and am becoming alienated from my peers in silence.

You can live outside and tend it.

@maureenflaherty You can live outside and tend it.

If it's on the porch fine. The last time you wanted it...

@maureenflaherty If it's on the porch fine. The last time you wanted it right by the sink.

God that book is good.

@joeljohnson @dannosowitz God that book is good.

Friends, @johnholdun has done it again...

Friends, @johnholdun has done it again https://variablestage.

these are game of thrones countries

Acne!

@ItsTheBrandi Acne!

People keep checking if I made this up but Infosys...

People keep checking if I made this up but Infosys absolutely bought Wongdoody and now Accenture owns Droga5. Maybe next Tata will buy Stink.

I freaking WISH

My childrens first words were infothith bawt womgootie

I will at any prompting at all yell out "Infosys bought...

this is the wildest thing since Infosys bought Wongdoody...

this is the wildest thing since Infosys bought Wongdoody https://twitter.

Now that I've seen Captain Marvel I want a ridiculous movie...

Now that I've seen Captain Marvel I want a ridiculous movie with Jude Law and Cate Blanchett as hot supercilious villains on a galactic Kree/Valhalla rampage. You could call it GATTACArol or...

I'll try anything

i was so absolutely fucking exhausted right then that i...

I'm trying hard to stop saying smushy bullshit like "do you...

I'm trying hard to stop saying smushy bullshit like "do you have that task? " when I'm talk/slacking with people who work with me, and instead just go "I want you to do that.

what are ownplans

we have good fun facts. my fun fact was a 5-slide deck...

@jenniferdaniel we have good fun facts. my fun fact was a 5-slide deck about how i grew up doing children's puppetry.

it's a miracle anyone lives

twins are fun

nothing should be hitting the fan at night because then...

Friends, @PostlightStudio keeps growing. I am responding to...

Friends, @PostlightStudio keeps growing. I am responding to lots of RFPs and juggling many leads.

Friends! Lots of folks are coming but we'd be glad to see...

Friends! Lots of folks are coming but we'd be glad to see you too—the “live podcast” is a half hour of fun talking and then we hang out and nerd around for a few hours until the head of HR plays CLOSING TIME by Semisonic.

happy birthday. I am glad we are friends.

@djacobs happy birthday. I am glad we are friends.

The names are so good. https://twitter.com/JamesAKAJim/statu...

The names are so good. https://twitter.

Yes!

@reconbot @sophaskins Yes!

I absolutely love PDFs.

@alltheshapes @mims I absolutely love PDFs.

If you add Justin Vernon to Bruce Hornsby you get Peter...

If you add Justin Vernon to Bruce Hornsby you get Peter Gabriel and listen it's not everyone's cup of tea but it's mine. https://twitter.

She's clearly a saint.

@kjhealy @Meagan_Levinson She's clearly a saint.

I bought your book! On paper! This is important.

@kjhealy I bought your book! On paper!

That's comforting (it's a book about how the web changed...

@kjhealy That's comforting (it's a book about how the web changed culture and how code works).

It's about four years late.

@kjhealy It's about four years late.

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/1113563226103590913/photo/...

@kjhealy https://twitter.

Sandpaper is paper's dark, gritty reboot.

Sandpaper is paper's dark, gritty reboot.

That is excellent.

@gvsmith That is excellent.

Friends who need an extremely light API-powered...

Friends who need an extremely light API-powered CMS-in-the-cloud should check out Liftoff, an open source Labs experiment built on top of @airtable by @PostlightStudio engineer @fdsimms https://postlight.

This piece is from 2017, but it's the only thing about...

This piece is from 2017, but it's the only thing about Brexit that ever made sense to me and I've been thinking about it since. https://www.

OOOOF

My little boy asked me for an orange corgi that he could...

My little boy asked me for an orange corgi that he could name Sunset.

Only fair if I can call collect.

@ChappellTracker Only fair if I can call collect.

I don't know if you enjoy reading ridiculous standards for...

@EmilyGorcenski I don't know if you enjoy reading ridiculous standards for entertainment, but the ICALENDAR spec is a special level of cultural-technological disaster mashup and one of my favorites.

It’s going to be sad when Twitter turns on dogs.

It’s going to be sad when Twitter turns on dogs.

My complaint. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/111286807542...

My complaint. https://twitter.

Some personal news I was just promoted to edgeduke.

Some personal news I was just promoted to edgeduke.

I am both and I EMBRACE it.

I am both and I EMBRACE it.

Today is the greatest day online, both a great day for...

Today is the greatest day online, both a great day for unfunny, self-congratulatory tech dorks and for exhausting, sanctimonious scolds of all sorts, on a platform almost perfectly designed to amplify your mutual unbearability.

I don't exactly know what she is supposed to be but...

I don't exactly know what she is supposed to be but obviously she's here to shame mankind.

He did a real good job. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/11...