By Paul Ford
La van, a man, a plan, a bird, Dr. IbaÃ±al Panama, Naval!
This is a man in Central Park, Manhattan. He is smoking and talking on a cell phone.
This is a bird, a few feet from the man. Right after this shot was taken the bird asked the man for a cigarette, which the
man gave reluctantly. Then the bird asked for a light. They talked for a while and the man grew friendlier, and gave the bird
his card. After the man left the bird ripped up the card with his beak and flew off with the scraps, most likely to save it
for future nesting. I wonder how often it does this?
This is Times Square. When you get to hell, it will look like this, and we will all be tourists.
Times Square is filled with more compressed entertainment per square yard than any other place in the United States, except
my apartment when I'm home.
This is a DEVILERY van in a garage in Harlem. They go to houses throughout Manhattan and the Bronx and Devilerize the occupants
without mercy. Victims of this process are too terrified to describe their ordeal; they sit with their mouths agape and cannot
speak for the horror, and most are no longer able to perform their jobs.
This is Marco. He is sensual, princely, waiting for one of his many harem girls to come and rub his belly and feed him anchovy seedcakes with Indian spices.
Many people ask if he had something done to his dark doe eyes and gorgeous pink lips, but his features are just as God made
them - something real in a world of frippery and falsehood.
Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some
There is a Facebook group.
You will regret following me on Twitter here.
About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit
things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.
If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am
glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.
: RSS1.0, RSS2.0
© 1974-2011 Paul Ford
Recent Offsite Work: Code and Prose.
As a hobby I write.
Facebook and Instagram: When Your Favorite App Sells Out.
Why I Am Leaving the People of the Red Valley.
Welcome to the Company.
“Facebook and the Epiphanator: An End to Endings?”.
Forgot to tell you about this.
“The Age of Mechanical Reproduction”.
An essay for TheMorningNews.org.
People call me a lot and say: What is this new thing? You're a nerd. Explain it immediately.
Recorded Entertainment #2, by Paul Ford.
Recorded Entertainment #1, by Paul Ford.
Nanolaw with Daughter.
Why privacy mattered.
0h30m w/Photoshop, by Paul Ford.
It's immediately clear to me now that I'm writing again that I need to come up with some new forms in order to have fun here—so
that I can get a rhythm and know what I'm doing. One thing that works for me are time limits; pencils up, pencils down. So:
Fridays, write for 30 minutes; edit for 20 minutes max; and go whip up some images if necessary, like the big crappy hand
below that's all meaningful and evocative because it's retro and zoomed-in. Post it, and leave it alone. Can I do that every
Friday? Yes! Will I? Maybe! But I crave that simple continuity. For today, for absolutely no reason other than that it came
unbidden into my brain, the subject will be Photoshop. (Do we have a process? We have a process. It is 11:39 and...)
That Shaggy Feeling.
Antilunchism, by Paul Ford.
Tickler File Forever, by Paul Ford.
I'll have no one to blame but future me.
Time's Inverted Index, by Paul Ford.
(1) When robots write history we can get in trouble with our past selves. (2) Search-generated, "false" chrestomathies and
the historical fallacy.
The Moral Superiority of the Streetcar.
(1) Long-form journalism fixes everything. (2) The moral superiority of the streetcar. (3) I like big bus and I cannot lie.