http://www.ftrain.com/ en-us 2008-04-01 Dad has a blog. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/dadsblog.html http://www.ftrain.com/dadsblog.html 2008-03-26 The first movie I remember seeing was called Sasquatch: The Legend of Bigfoot. I'm sure I had been to the Warner Theater before that but I remember this movie because it was not for children, I was six, and there was some negotiation before I was allowed to go. My brother took me. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/mediaone.html http://www.ftrain.com/mediaone.html 2008-03-24 ~200 words on restraints at ABriefMessage.com. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/abriefmessage.html http://www.ftrain.com/abriefmessage.html 2008-03-21 If anyone needs the office phone number. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/bedbugs.html http://www.ftrain.com/bedbugs.html 2008-03-20 “That’s great. That’s everything it’s supposed to be. Interesting. That’s right up my alley. That’s cool.” (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/important-man.html http://www.ftrain.com/important-man.html 2008-03-20 I wonder what the poor folks are doing tonight. http://www.ftrain.com/the-wire.html http://www.ftrain.com/the-wire.html 2008-03-18 “Are you going to church?” asked my mother over the phone. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/windchest.html http://www.ftrain.com/windchest.html 2008-03-13 I wrote 763 six-word song reviews for The Morning News. The songs are all from bands appearing at SXSW right now and each review links to MP3s so that you might judge the state of contemporary music for yourself. 48 hours of music! Much of it bad! But some good. And charts. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/bands-reviewed.html http://www.ftrain.com/bands-reviewed.html 2008-03-03 (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/verse-obsolescence.html http://www.ftrain.com/verse-obsolescence.html 2008-02-27 My most frequent when-I-am-walking game is Exposure: (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/TheClouds.html http://www.ftrain.com/TheClouds.html 2008-02-10 Last September, on a clear warm Saturday morning a week before my wedding, about ten of us celebrated my bachelor party by going fishing out in Sheepshead Bay. You pay $50 and get on the boat. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/fishing-bachelor-party.html http://www.ftrain.com/fishing-bachelor-party.html 2008-02-05 Walking through Chinatown with Mo we passed a restaurant called Mandarin Court. “Excuse me, your honor,” I said. “But my client is seedless.” Mo rolled her eyes. “He's also a navel hero,” I said. “Oh!” Anyway, after a full train ride of focused thinking, during which time I nearly gave up on oranges in favor of bells, I decided that citrus is funnier and settled on the above. Then I searched through the Internet for variations but it seems to be original, or else I stole it from a six-year old. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/orangejoke.html http://www.ftrain.com/orangejoke.html 2008-02-04 (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/thevet.html http://www.ftrain.com/thevet.html 2008-01-31 My friend Michael wants to know what I think of his novel. The first chapter—the first of twelve planned, according to the index cards pinned to clotheslines that cover the ceiling of his apartment, is one hundred fifty-seven singlespaced ten-point Times New Roman pages that describe relations between a man referred to as Captain and a woman known as Isabella, the wife of a Austrian blunderbuss dealer. When we first meet her she is disguised as the Austrian's teenaged son, but after seeing her husband/father keelhauled, and threatened with keelhauling herself, she unbinds her bosom and explains that she was, until she posed as a woman of good family in order to marry, a whore wise to pirates, and now she wishes only to survive the voyage and be returned to Europe. At this Captain drags her off to quarters, exiles his catamite Esquimaux cabinboy to the galley, and proceeds to 92 pages of vileness until on page 156 a passing French galleon launches a cannonade into the poop. The narrator is a stowaway African gray parrot native to London. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/theswings.html http://www.ftrain.com/theswings.html 2008-01-30 See also: The words that were used; U.S. Presidential Speeches Tag Cloud. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/tagcloud.html http://www.ftrain.com/tagcloud.html 2008-01-29 Dear EDITOR, (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/galley-letter.html http://www.ftrain.com/galley-letter.html 2008-01-28 (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/SaturdayPictures.html http://www.ftrain.com/SaturdayPictures.html 2007-11-02 I came up with 100 Ways to Say I Love You at The Morning News. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/love-explosion.html http://www.ftrain.com/love-explosion.html 2007-10-01 Scott Rahin told me, “the other day I was watching this video and I just started crying.” (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/five-dollar-chocolate-bar.html http://www.ftrain.com/five-dollar-chocolate-bar.html 2007-09-23 That's a puzzle offered to people who want to work at ITA software, as a test of their nerd-mettle; ITA is a company that has, fame-ishly, used the computer language LISP to plug away at the traveling salesman problem at its most literal, for best I can tell they write software to find the shortest, cheapest, fastest airplane routes. (continued...) http://www.ftrain.com/the-big-o.html http://www.ftrain.com/the-big-o.html