Monday, September 27, 2004
By Paul Ford
Dear Evangelical Christians,
As an atheist, and an avid fan of the Left Behind books, I am willing to consider every possibility. And one of the thing I've been considering lately is—maybe you're right.
Maybe the rapture is coming, and all of those who have taken Jesus into their heart will be pulled to heaven soon.
Which is why I'm asking you to vote for the godless devil-candidate, the abortion-loving, bible-hating John Kerry. Because
if you vote for George W. Bush, and the rapture comes, his entire administration could vanish at any moment, plunging our government into chaos. Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft—all of them would be called to heaven
in preparation for the return of Jesus.
We need steady leadership in times of change. And steady leadership does not include being yanked to heaven during the time
of tribulations. It'll be bad enough with the imminent arrival of antichrist from the East (who may be Barak Obama), and the expected problems in Jerusalem that the end times might bring. So please vote responsibly, the way Jesus would
want you to vote.
Watch out for talking snakes,
Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some
There is a Facebook group.
You will regret following me on Twitter here.
About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit
things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.
If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am
glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.
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© 1974-2011 Paul Ford
Recent Offsite Work: Code and Prose.
As a hobby I write.
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0h30m w/Photoshop, by Paul Ford.
It's immediately clear to me now that I'm writing again that I need to come up with some new forms in order to have fun here—so
that I can get a rhythm and know what I'm doing. One thing that works for me are time limits; pencils up, pencils down. So:
Fridays, write for 30 minutes; edit for 20 minutes max; and go whip up some images if necessary, like the big crappy hand
below that's all meaningful and evocative because it's retro and zoomed-in. Post it, and leave it alone. Can I do that every
Friday? Yes! Will I? Maybe! But I crave that simple continuity. For today, for absolutely no reason other than that it came
unbidden into my brain, the subject will be Photoshop. (Do we have a process? We have a process. It is 11:39 and...)
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(1) Long-form journalism fixes everything. (2) The moral superiority of the streetcar. (3) I like big bus and I cannot lie.