I gave a reading the other night, and it went well, but seeing the pictures I realize what's happened to me. (But wait! I've only gained seven pounds since February.) I think of it as retreating into my own flesh.
The anxiety before standing up in public is a moment of high drama: Have I gone so far off the scales, literally, that they won't want to hear me talk? It went beautifully and a nice man came up later and said he was a big fan. And that he'd send photos. And oh god. I could have made different decisions in March 2010. I could have stayed with the plan.
I'll go to the shrink tomorrow. And I will keep working always.
| Food | Qty | Calories |
|---|---|---|
| Banana, 1 large | 110 | |
| Cereal, Nature's Path Organic Heritage, 3/4 c. | 2 | 240 |
| Yogurt, , 1 c. | 149 | |
| Total | 499 |
Weight: 335 lbs