Ftrain, by Paul Ford
April 2021
Wait it's possible! I'm not an admin. Could you set this to...
I'd love to use Discord but I don't have a newsletter.
@bijanstephen I'd love to use Discord but I don't have a newsletter.
➛We did build transient chat but I think it would be more...
I don't think it's healthy for our remote brains that every...
I don't think it's healthy for our remote brains that every bit of water-cooler banter is permanently archived.
➛I wish Slack had a channel along with #general and #random...
Being middle-aged means making little jokes like, "I think...
Being middle-aged means making little jokes like, "I think I'm great at handling stress, especially when you consider that I'm only 27." And then feeling a tiny bit sad when everyone laughs. But then again it's nice to feel anything at all.
➛yep that's us (Mondayoff) it's truly not for amateurs when...
@Hadro @alisonkudlow yep that's us (Mondayoff) it's truly not for amateurs when they turn up the spice
➛Plant Love House?
@Hadro @alisonkudlow Plant Love House?
➛Hmm
This is a pretty wild, future-facing editorial job and I'm...
This is a pretty wild, future-facing editorial job and I'm jealous of whoever gets it. pudding.cool/...
➛Oh it's over, I'm the problem.
@bijanstephen Oh it's over, I'm the problem.
➛ANGUISH
@coreyaroth ANGUISH
➛I think what's particularly rough with this one is it's...
I think what's particularly rough with this one is it's used by smart people using their smart voices on podcasts being philosophical and so it just drills into that part of my brain that is an owl constantly screeching WROOOONG (my brain).
➛I should accept that no one is going to use “begs the...
I should accept that no one is going to use “begs the question” correctly for the rest of my life, because that's the way things go.
➛It so absolutely could have.
Well the source material is so bad it defies parody right?...
@cydharrell Well the source material is so bad it defies parody right? Until now.
➛There are like nine separate jokes in here, down to how...
Its also just the "_" between breaking and...
@cydharrell Its also just the "_" between breaking and one-word-govtech. Devastating.
➛Sometimes it's the pain of experience but just as often...
Sometimes it's the pain of experience but just as often it's the pain of self-recognition.
➛Every single thing this account tweets breaks my heart.
Absolute confusion. The experience of getting paged sort of...
I'll never get verified at this rate.
Just a great product moment all around.
I did get the dishes done though.
I did get the dishes done though.
➛Fun fact: You can put your phone in your pocket while you...
Fun fact: You can put your phone in your pocket while you listen to 700 people talk on a Twitter Spaces chat, and accidentally pocket-press the “ask to speak” button, hear them calling your actual name, then you have to unmute yourself and explain you're just doing the dishes.
➛How I see everyone on here.
Make sure to back up your old peer group because the...
@joshuatopolsky Make sure to back up your old peer group because the upgrade can wreck your machine.
➛It's terrible. I'm useless as a communicator until I go...
@hondanhon @fka_tabs @big_government It's terrible. I'm useless as a communicator until I go through the pain of understanding. Too many years getting fact-checked. I can edit or advise, though.
➛I mean! I basically agree and if like 80% of my writing in...
@hondanhon @fka_tabs @big_government I mean! I basically agree and if like 80% of my writing in the future connected to climate I wouldn't be surprised. But FOR ONCE I really don't want it to be about me, at least until I can articulate the difference between CMIP and REMO.
➛I think this is the right path, but my problem is that I'm...
@hondanhon @fka_tabs @big_government I think this is the right path, but my problem is that I'm very dumb and extremely confused.
➛thank you, they are perfect
For gods sake Camille you tweet this without a picture it's...
Need to do something before 2030 though.
(But Paul! You say, Capitalism can't solve anything. Also,...
(But Paul! You say, Capitalism can't solve anything. Also, climate is hopeless, so this question means nothing. Finally, you shouldn't ask this, you should ask something else. To which I say, absolutely! You are right!) Nevertheless...
➛Let's say you were a big goof who helped lead a digital...
Let's say you were a big goof who helped lead a digital services firm, and that firm is doing more and more climate-related work. You'd like YOUR firm to be accountable and active about climate, too. There's a climate ERG—many employees want to do more. Where would you start?
➛it's sort of the reverse ratio right now isn't it
That's even better!
@RJLunn @maureenflaherty That's even better!
➛My dreams are INCREDIBLY basic, zero subtlety.
I had a nightmare in which I was carrying my son and a man...
I had a nightmare in which I was carrying my son and a man in the distance was revealed to be a werewolf who began to race towards me, and then I woke my wife up yelling in my sleep.
➛I decided to listen some old radio last night to calm down...
I decided to listen some old radio last night to calm down but accidentally picked this nightly news program from 1938 on the day after the Anschluss, and it may be the most stress-producing media artifact I've experienced in my life. archive.org/...
➛It was my first real experience thinking about nuclear war,...
@510home @stew_rtsmith archive.org/...
It was my first real experience thinking about nuclear war, and it was amazingly powerful at the time. I don't know if it holds up.
➛It was my first real experience thinking about nuclear war, and it was amazingly powerful at the time. I don't know if it holds up.
some personal news my car is one meter and 49 centimeters
some personal news my car is one meter and 49 centimeters
➛You ever play
@stew_rtsmith You ever play en.wikipedia.org/...
➛One of the balms of my life is occasionally updating this...
One of the balms of my life is occasionally updating this playlist of 82 hours of likeable music, max one song per artist, nothing explicit, then playing it on shuffle. open.spotify.com/...
➛I like that the plain text core makes for very easy piping...
My guess is a human is never touching this data directly....
A lot of internal rich CMS data models look like this now....
It plays "Year of the Cat" by Al Stewart.
@michaelcoyote It plays "Year of the Cat" by Al Stewart.
➛Tweet
No subtext here just a very positive album that wasn't on...
No subtext here just a very positive album that wasn't on Spotify for a long time.
➛Tweet
Sort of the "everything evolves into a crab" theory but for...
Who's ready for some fun
I have a very literal memory of a nervous neighbor wearing...
I have a very literal memory of a nervous neighbor wearing lots of tinfoil, when I was a kid. Explanation offered was align the lines of, “Yeah, he thinks he gets waves. Give him space.”
➛POLL: Have you ever seen anyone actually wearing tinfoil as...
POLL: Have you ever seen anyone actually wearing tinfoil as a hat?
➛We had a yard sale but with social distancing it had to be...
We had a yard sale but with social distancing it had to be a two yard sale.
➛Fostering kittens.
Ignore me I googled and confirmed snork
@ItsTheBrandi Ignore me I googled and confirmed snork
➛Wait is that a snork
@ItsTheBrandi Wait is that a snork
➛I mean it's fine for personal use.
@thesamstark I mean it's fine for personal use.
➛This story explains so much
This story explains so much wired.com/...
➛Twitter spaces idea: Everyone speaking wears bluetooth...
Twitter spaces idea:
Everyone speaking wears bluetooth headphones.
All start an album at the same time on spotify.
Just talk nonsense/fun facts/trivia about the album.
Periodically remind people listening of the song and time so they can sync.
What album though?
➛Everyone speaking wears bluetooth headphones.
All start an album at the same time on spotify.
Just talk nonsense/fun facts/trivia about the album.
Periodically remind people listening of the song and time so they can sync.
What album though?
I wish web browsers would split out the URL bar and the...
I wish web browsers would split out the URL bar and the search field again. It's just a mess.
➛Just a wild street find this morning, taking the kids to...
Just a wild street find this morning, taking the kids to school, a hardbound and protectively wrapped copy of KITSCH by Gillo Dorfles sitting on a junked credenza. The children were unimpressed. But this book had a lot of lessons for me as a kid, like: Mt. Rushmore sucks.
Written up by...Everything2!
@alkali19 Written up by...Everything2! everything2.com/...
➛Sort of a pseudo-Britannica from the 50s edited by a famous...
Actually wait I can absolutely raise the stakes here.
You know, I think it's probably in everyone's best interest...
The other day I asked a friend with a classics degree if I...
The other day I asked a friend with a classics degree if I was allowed to buy Pliny's Natural History in the 10-volume Loeb edition and he made me empty my shopping cart. And I had to admit I wanted them at least a little because they are red.
➛Look I know I'm not supposed to construct my social...
Look I know I'm not supposed to construct my social identity through public consumption but come on.
Resolution bad gonna reshoot
Tweet
You know you were only off here by four years.
@dntsqzthchrmn You know you were only off here by four years.
➛I've done the research and hate to share this but the...
I've done the research and hate to share this but the carbon emitted by Good Puppers content on Twitter is [account suddenly suspended].
➛Purely out of curiosity: - 100 kg carbon per NFT [1] - 180...
Purely out of curiosity:
- 100 kg carbon per NFT [1]
- 180 tons steel per Richard Serra "Snake" [2]
- 1.85 tons (1,678 kg) CO2/ton steel [3]
= ~300,000 kg CO2 per "Snake"
= ~3,000 NFTs
[1] github.com/...
[2] artdex.com/...
[3] mckinsey.com/...
- 100 kg carbon per NFT [1]
- 180 tons steel per Richard Serra "Snake" [2]
- 1.85 tons (1,678 kg) CO2/ton steel [3]
= ~300,000 kg CO2 per "Snake"
= ~3,000 NFTs
[1] github.com/...
[2] artdex.com/...
[3] mckinsey.com/...
I am sorry for your loss.
Okay but can we make the sticker reflective and maybe just...
I'm still processing it
@meyerweb I'm still processing it open.spotify.com/...
➛I can't even say it's history repeating because that's The...
I can't even say it's history repeating because that's The Propellerheads.
➛I can't believe I am typing this in 2021, but there's a...
I can't believe I am typing this in 2021, but there's a Jack Dangers remix of an anti-capitalism song off of Consolidated's new album. open.spotify.com/...
➛This is extremely true even when it is not the right...
@ezramechaber @goldman @DanielZarick This is extremely true even when it is not the right solution. I admire the hustle, though. Although I feel bad for like, the medium-sized-not for profit that has to do a week of training for every volunteer.
➛Me: No don't think it. Brain: Nazi gold. Me: Okay you did...
Me: No don't think it.
Brain: Nazi gold.
Me: Okay you did it.
Brain: Jason Statham Nazi Gold Swiss Tunnel Heist Movie.
Me: Okay, fine.
Brain: But it floods.
➛Brain: Nazi gold.
Me: Okay you did it.
Brain: Jason Statham Nazi Gold Swiss Tunnel Heist Movie.
Me: Okay, fine.
Brain: But it floods.
"The Swiss already plan to build a 500-kilometer tunnel...
"The Swiss already plan to build a 500-kilometer tunnel that stretches across most of the country to convey manufactured goods from one city to the next without disturbing surface life." bloomberg.com/...
➛5th Element is the goodfellas of bad sci-fi though.
@joeljohnson @patbits 5th Element is the goodfellas of bad sci-fi though.
➛it is going to be so sad when they turn the servers back on...
a much tastier universe
@goldman @DanielZarick a much tastier universe
➛The 3D was really fun and cool at that moment? And we...
I know I know but then you go into big companies and NGOs...
@DanielZarick @goldman I know I know but then you go into big companies and NGOs and government orgs and...IT IS.
➛I think about this all the time. ALL THE TIME.
I guess calling Time "world's biggest" is sort of...
I guess calling Time "world's biggest" is sort of overstretching a lot of historical context, always worth remembering that Japanese newspaper circulation numbers are out there to remind Americans that we aren't actually serious about circulation.
➛I find Salesforce infinitely fascinating. I've been...
Frankly I'm a fan. Marc Benioff is enterprise Elon Musk.
Frankly I'm a fan. Marc Benioff is enterprise Elon Musk.
➛So the world's biggest pub gets unbundled from Meredith...
So the world's biggest pub gets unbundled from Meredith post takeover and bought by a guy who is building the next MSFT with web-based CRM as core platform instead of OS, and he promotes a climate story AND a circ platform based on currency generating 30-100 mln lbs carbon/yr.
➛just a lot going on here
imagine the looks on the boys faces when this guy gets...
Our neighbor just dropped off a pile of vintage wrapping...
Our neighbor just dropped off a pile of vintage wrapping paper to sell next week at the garage sale.
Bill Gates just announced Vaccines for Workgroups.
Bill Gates just announced Vaccines for Workgroups.
➛Sometimes I make a slide with one word on it.
You have no idea how much pain this causes me as a CEO who...
Nobody reads them.
Disco, but as an adjective
@younggalaxy Disco, but as an adjective
➛So far there have not been any troubling donut incidents....
So far there have not been any troubling donut incidents. Trying to be accountable here.
➛Tweet
I will never be happier than in that perfect, magical...
I will never be happier than in that perfect, magical moment.
➛They were filming next door and at the end of the day...
They were filming next door and at the end of the day someone came by and handed me a new $100 bill for the disturbance. I asked what they were doing and they said it was “a social media ad for vape pens.” It was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.
➛What's wrong with the air
Nickel slots at the Reno Nugget.
@DreamSong77 Nickel slots at the Reno Nugget.
➛Oh god Sniglets
@BArmintor @tjowens Oh god Sniglets
➛I'm sorry to share it with you. It should have stayed...
I'm sorry to share it with you. It should have stayed hidden. But we are all eejays now.
➛This morning I was reading a book of predictions written in...
This morning I was reading a book of predictions written in 1980. It includes a list of "words that we may use in the future." And then I saw this.
Tweet
Tweet
Tweet
Flawless pick
@americanwombat Flawless pick
➛I think about him ripping multiple sinks off the wall all...
@drewtoothpaste I think about him ripping multiple sinks off the wall all the time.
➛"Beautiful Ride" from Walk Hard.
It's all so fancy and historical and then when you zoom in...
Tweet
I was just reminded of the time when I was asked to share a...
I was just reminded of the time when I was asked to share a fun fact about myself at work, and made this short deck to share that I grew up doing children's puppetry.
yes
@leahfinnegan yes
➛Thank you for your service! Great work all around and so...
@mattcutts Thank you for your service! Great work all around and so much to be proud of.
➛Wait then who handles that
@matthewmcvickar Wait then who handles that
➛Very happy with my Accell® Powramid® 1080 Joule Power...
@caseyjohnston Very happy with my Accell® Powramid® 1080 Joule Power Center and USB Charging Station. It has a little plastic hat on top of the power button so you never turn it off accidentally and wake up with 2% battery.
Loved Ned's Atomic Dustbin. Such a weird band.
@ZanMcQuade Loved Ned's Atomic Dustbin. Such a weird band.
➛1992 road trip discography
dm him
Perfection!
@perryhewitt Perfection!
➛Oh IDK you could totally hear that, in the same rooms where...
@frownstone Oh IDK you could totally hear that, in the same rooms where you hear that bike lanes encourage terrorism and affordable housing is unconstitutional.
➛Also leave the vendors alone. Don't take away my convenient...
Also leave the vendors alone. Don't take away my convenient street banana.
➛After National Pet Day I'm very concerned about what Andrew...
After National Pet Day I'm very concerned about what Andrew Yang will tweet on Mother's Day.
➛Cc @maureenflaherty
Well I think this is going to be so much fun.
@leahfinnegan Well I think this is going to be so much fun.
➛I found a bug. A lot of sad <p> tags never made it.
You probably look back at WWI and go, man, that was a...
Look near-term thinking is what got everyone into this mess.
Imagine how easy it would be to reject pitches. "This is a...
Imagine how easy it would be to reject pitches. "This is a very fine article proposal, and I think many other magazines would be glad to publish it. However it is my opinion as the editor of Prevent World War III magazine that it does not prevent World War III."
In its early days this magazine definitely succumbed to a...
CW: In the 1950s one of the main ways you prevented WWIII...
CW: In the 1950s one of the main ways you prevented WWIII was to publish lots of racist cartoons of Nasser.
➛Reading my favorite monthly magazine, “Prevent World War...
Reading my favorite monthly magazine, “Prevent World War III,” available in PDF from the CIA. cia.gov/...
I mean I had 900 words.
@Simon_Pitt I mean I had 900 words.
➛I kind of get a kick out of them. I used to be them, too....
@ShortFormErnie I kind of get a kick out of them. I used to be them, too. Lot of folks over there can't tolerate my tone/style, to which I can only say, fair.
➛Idk I kind of enjoy it these days. Especially when I'm...
Classic example of the coward's screenshot.
I finally hit the stage when hacker news commenters saying...
I finally hit the stage when hacker news commenters saying I'm garbage makes me feel kind of cheerful.
➛Since I clean the kitchen every night they got me this.
Could make the milk too!
Oh its going to cost millions for a 10 day cruise? But free...
Oh its going to cost millions for a 10 day cruise? But free for scientists? With a giant shiny globe? And it only needs $700 million to get built? And it's atomic?
➛This is just boat Snowpiercer.
This is just boat Snowpiercer. bloomberg.com/...
➛Sent this to my wife with the words "okay hear me out" then...
That was great! Also, "I have lost all hope. What hope do...
I had to mute it, I couldn't take it any more.
@paulsmith I had to mute it, I couldn't take it any more.
➛That's a lot.
@jeremyzilar That's a lot.
➛I mean you can pretty much hear it, right? It's right there.
@LiamSpradlin I mean you can pretty much hear it, right? It's right there.
➛An extremely important thought I just had: "I really wish...
An extremely important thought I just had: "I really wish Chromatics would cover Strut by Sheena Easton."
➛HMM. I don't really care about Hollywood, though.
@silviakillings @heybonanos HMM. I don't really care about Hollywood, though.
➛AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH I WANT IT
@heybonanos AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH I WANT IT
➛That's great and kind to hear!
@TomHentoff That's great and kind to hear!
➛That's wonderful to hear and I'm glad you told me.
I wrote the article you automated pedant.
I guess that our cohort was collectively sifting through an...
@j_zimms @harrisj @dansinker I guess that our cohort was collectively sifting through an enormous trashpile of boomer detritus (often literally) to construct ANYTHING that didn't have a creepy moustache or smell like aqua velva. And we didn't have any economic power so all our media looked like samizdat.
➛I think it was just a weirder media environment. I mean...
@dansinker @harrisj I think it was just a weirder media environment. I mean it's later than 8th grade but I bought my first issue of Raygun at a 7-11.
➛"Shut uppa Vespucc!" "By the way domini domini domini...
Book of the Subgenius and High Weirdness by Mail are...
When you are ten years old in West Chester, PA, and there's...
When you are ten years old in West Chester, PA, and there's no Internet or Photoshop or memes, that Muppet book cover is the single funniest thing you've ever seen. You show it to your friends at Hillsdale Elementary like it's illegal. The single funniest thing you've ever seen.
➛When I was ten I found a copy of "Late Night With David...
When I was ten I found a copy of "Late Night With David Letterman: The Book" (I'd never seen the show) and memorized it. It's mostly screenshots of blurry video. I borrowed it for an hour from archive.org just so I could see these fake greeting cards and books again.
POV: I'm your children and I've lost 30 masks.
POV: I'm your children and I've lost 30 masks.
➛Well hold on this is a discussion.
@juliehubs @maureenflaherty Well hold on this is a discussion.
➛Probably more than adequate although personally I'm...
@SaraJChipps Probably more than adequate although personally I'm thinking food cart.
➛Oh good we can discuss!
@SaraJChipps Oh good we can discuss!
➛Nerds: Say someone small is dealing with ADHD and gets...
Nerds: Say someone small is dealing with ADHD and gets jammed up with tasks.
We've talked about a big fun LED sign.
The sign shows ONE task from a sequence (brush teeth, pack bag, wear mask).
When task is done you hit a big button.
Next task displays.
How would you build it?
➛We've talked about a big fun LED sign.
The sign shows ONE task from a sequence (brush teeth, pack bag, wear mask).
When task is done you hit a big button.
Next task displays.
How would you build it?
A thing I didn't really expect to find on Spotify: Two...
A thing I didn't really expect to find on Spotify: Two albums of W.E.B. DuBois speaking. open.spotify.com/...
➛I would give my soul for one postable win.
It was a definite “is it wise for me to continue to have...
I keep having fantasies about what the future will be like...
Tweet
It's the "good riddance" that still hurts all these years...
@ShortFormErnie It's the "good riddance" that still hurts all these years later.
➛A harder day for Moonlight. And a confusing day for her...
@VictoriaMia A harder day for Moonlight. And a confusing day for her brother Printer.
➛Turns out spayed cats can still have a little ovary left...
Turns out spayed cats can still have a little ovary left over, and go into heat. A little something we learned today starting at 5am.
➛Just spent the day at the office, and let me tell you, your...
Just spent the day at the office, and let me tell you, your brains are in for a surprise.
➛From now on please address me by my title.
This is great.
@sarahhepola This is great.
➛I'm back on the bus.
I'm sure. I guess one good thing is that life moving on...
I mean, you'll get there, just pace it a little.
I mean, you'll get there, just pace it a little.
➛It's wonderful that everyone expects non-stop...
It's wonderful that everyone expects non-stop risk-embracing celebration this summer, but it's slightly more likely people will have two glasses of wine and start sobbing for no reason, then leave the party and walk to the nearest body of water to sit on a bench and watch boats.
➛Where I am right now.
Come over, I got about 50 Omnis and 50 Whole Earth Reviews...
@jrobertlennon Come over, I got about 50 Omnis and 50 Whole Earth Reviews and I just sit here and read them until the world settles down.
➛I would play all of these imaginary video games from 1984...
Man Jack Klugman could sell a copier.
I keep imagining the birds people-watching and they are not...
I keep imagining the birds people-watching and they are not kind.
➛Congratulations to you and @H4N4W4LT!!!!! It's been so much...
It's an all-time classic in terms of unintended irony.
@bcantrill It's an all-time classic in terms of unintended irony. x.com/...
➛I mean, talk about side effects! You should try programming...
@phyllisstein I mean, talk about side effects! You should try programming in DCL!
➛Finally got my second vax.
Maybe the Gooey Decimal System
@john_overholt Maybe the Gooey Decimal System
➛The little rattle a bluejay makes sounds just like the...
Just one in a series of 2021 tongue twisters.
Just one in a series of 2021 tongue twisters.
➛How long until the Acela sells edibles in the Café Car?
How long until the Acela sells edibles in the Café Car?
➛shared this like a year ago and I think of it almost every...
Chippy no
Chippy no reddit.com/...
➛cc @robynkanner
Patrick, you never let me down.
How often do you think estate lawyers burst into the room...
How often do you think estate lawyers burst into the room and yell, “The deed is done!”
➛john we're gonna need this deed moistly inscribed
@john_overholt john we're gonna need this deed moistly inscribed
➛This year's Trans Day of Visibility is over, and yet my...
This year's Trans Day of Visibility is over, and yet my Twitter feed remains FILLED with HUGE NERDS who happen to be trans. I'm grateful for your posting every single day, and I just donated to Lucie's Place in Arkansas in your honor. luciesplace.org/...
➛