April 2012 BY Paul Ford 2012 574 Sections Means you avoid a lot of things. yep this day belongs to you sir nice but for the record actually I had the idea in the year... Good point! Although the words are only a part of the... Once at a place where I worked we seriously discussed... SATISFIED INDEED ( not real, @justonlyjohn ) Agreed! I am passionate about brands. thamks I preshate it they need wool sweaters in my opinion Yes. Just surprised these years on that it is still the... frank glee is my reaction yeah i mean basically any possible way you would look at... well now it's a contest no that was a text message from notify nyc what in god's name Third prize is spec work. fine fuck it you win i bought my copy my god it's like... hoooooolllllyyyyyyyy shiiiiiiitttttttttttt seriously i'm vp product you're eic let's do this God, a puppet show is exactly what is missing from most web... Wait this is at the zoo or at the Times? perfection A Little Sharpie on the Bottom sounds like the memoir of a... FINALLY right? what else is helpless and rateable? firing... really all of lit is just an inefficient rating system.... see now it's gone from irony straight into the keynote at... Seriously rating cats is just a form of self-defense. and shit kleiner gave them $15MM y Antelopes, Agents, and Agile hey i meant to say—combine your zoo experience with your... it was all business upstairs but a ten-toed party down below maybe it wasn't him! you got the story of my life right there wait what is "distributed reporting taxonomy" it sounds... Tigers will go on and on about their children if you let... I like Scratcher and had no idea it involved hobos. I am... Don't take stock tips from lemurs #zooadvice #zooadvice is a hashtag I'll be using going forward no we don't you're making this way too complex how's that bait taste hypothesis: if you take the subway a lot your phone spends... yeeessssssssss meet me at dean and d for your high five Now I'm thinking about the RoR meetup/Eyes Wide Shut mashup... wait i thought we wore masks at the django meetup now i'm... this is an excellent idea i'll explain at the meetup Our Red Rooms of Pain were designed and installed by... My erotic design novel is a sequel to “50 Shades of Grey”... no it's amazing it's the "for a longtime" that I like best right that's what we wil call our IPO totally worked for groupon we're hiring in qa but we're going to need you in india... see me after series c i'll hook you up bro just hang in... okay, the evangelist job is yours okay you're now chief cat officer I love that "NOW!"--it's been there for more than a decade,... worse than death I've made some serious errors in my life it's true I photocopied the entire sgml standard after getting it... the w3c has published a new standard I will race you to see... why is he always knuffling? I accidentally sent my payment to your old Gawker... whoa I thought a lot about it and you're right about the pigeon. I KNOW RIGHT? So awesome. Also I am so relieved about... That said, it's awesome to see that roundup, and I'm... Anil was late to the trend. My mouth is all messed up so I tend to kind of gnaw from... objection on reasons of oh god you just ruined my case it's not about one pigeon. It's about any animal being able... that's really great and hilarious as well Stanley Fish was called as an expert witness but eaten by... nonetheless the judge is a hawk in these matters,... Do we know it has no commercial license? After all the... Ditmas is here for you if you need it. Qathra! There all the time. my doctor found hilarity in my colon so I have to have... I try not to leave south Brooklyn but will make an... Much better! Thanks. And sure, if you're in the hood. It's purely selfish on my part. I find it soothing to give... i mean that @poundifdef in the sense of i am basically... THIS IS 100% INTERNET I'm still holding by my 2003 proposal that we call them... Pretending is what makes the Internet great. I've also been thinking about comma splices, they tend to... or girlfriends, or cyber brony virtual avatar friends. i'm... it's an awful shame! Searching http://difference.theinfo.org for dog gives... Everyone knows Wordperfect 5.2 for DOS was the best word... Except that I was inherently uninteresting. "Let me tell... Oh yeah I pissed them off something fierce. Didn't ask... Might be a goose chase--not sure where a bunch of 1995... You know it's possible Herrick has videotapes next time... And one very important personage in early digital... Was a helluva lineup. Sven Birkerts, Johanna Drucker,... Bitrot--original sources on lost optical drives. I still... Text21! I DRINK YOUR BEER NIIIIICE I kind of welcome and enjoy it now. DOOOOOOO ITTTTTTT Any awesome rules? How many players? Is it kind of awesome? It looks awesome. It'd be fun to... So you really don't know if you're still playing? if the Player has at least 5X+(X(X-1)/2) Credits (where X... remember when i came to philly and had to sneak into an XML... unbelievable tinctures (Actually it's a screenshot from the Cloanto Amiga emulator... Nice judo PR move. Oh sorry that tweet about starting a blog was from 1997. Fuck it I'm doing it I'm starting a blog. yep this is entirely true frown face Awesome, listening now. I was kind of hoping it was... anil what are you doing we talked about this YESTERDAY ANIL NO A friend of mine--her sister's fiancé proposed to her... I have nothing against Coldplay except that they are really... I'm sad that I'm now part of the media. I feel an urgent... right the showers! my checkers are in rehab this week it's going to be amazing from here on out about to go for a bike ride and count all the leaves Use, don't contribute, but love, and love the way they keep... I cry when I reply-all to more than two people. Everyone who ever signed off. It's an amalgamation of all... that started years Headed home. We're not starting that again today. Seriously I am really happy about the funpass. I like to do three reps lifting The Alphabet every morning. Sold out! Really what I want is an email newsletter. Right! LinkedIn is actually close to that for me but the... Agreed! But export is a mechanism that--whether they know... But also I know you are not trying to say it should be this... Which is why as both programmer and writer I want to keep... Me too! But the real people of tomorrow should have rights... Agreed, and while they are fun to tease G+ is doing its... i am waiting for an oblomovka post We are, and it is. A creative commons-style indicator of... Maybe? It's not just them. It would have been ethical. Yes, absolutely, but peer pressure is powerful and it's... We know that, but I see newer or less experienced users... Not poking, but okay: We're commoditized until we can own... fair It's not money that makes me a "worker" it's that I don't... I think I'm a worker until you give me an awesome export... their reactions of anger to a company selling are valid and... and I think that terms of service aside the social contract... (thanks!) two things--I do a lot of "work" for free and a... the social contract between user and platform is often... sure, but terms of service or pinterest copyright stuff... YouTube ad rev splits argue that rewarding labor can be... Okay but wait--OSM and Wikipedia will be among the wonders... Tom! Blog! Blog critically! i actually don't--the work/play binary feels false to me,... I think at this audience to company size ratio it all goes... except when you have a 2-million to one user/employee ratio... wait where is the actual labor that creates the $1b value?... instead of workers, lets call them frayers eminently fair Python, but still have to support some PHP--which, full... or subtle Instagram praise. So people know, the gray nasty-looking meat stuff in that... ed is standard editor For me it's all about the built-in Hyperwave support... As opposed to? Exactly! Full disclosure: I took much of that line from @robdubbin... that sounds kind of fun, like Orwellian square dancing,... dude roll that back Oh wait duh I ordered @kissane's book by accident i don't... Wait the second half of this ebook is all just pictures of... Oh no I didn't say I was defending him I don't like Verdana. What are my options? I'm actually over here thinking of what Indie Cred would... In its defense that article WAS a piece of shit. I'd suggest you watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phOGLdh... DO YOUR WORST. Your Klout score! Currently 66 and rising. Had dinner w/him once actually. Hella nice guy. Like Sam Waksal? Only if you oppose women drivers. Plus the car service seatbelts are ratty. We gave up and... +1, that's great. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/V%C3%B6lk... Could make that work. I have nothing to add to this conversation, yet I... My children will wear peanut-free helmets to conflict-free... What is the river, I wonder? Agreed--I must be wrong--because you couldn't survive on... The Red Elk people wanted me to give them the rights to all... ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘... it's like the Olympics every day to be honest, I never noticed a lack of Brooklyn dudes... I'm actually really glad I could share that with people who... it is described and linked to in his recent autobiography,... And also Literary Machines if you can find it, and Computer... The best Ted Nelson primer is RIGHT HERE.... then again that's probably a fairly typical National Review... I see a man in a dark robe shrieking, floor damp, crucifix... Like floppy disks or literary criticism. and for me it's @thisisaaronland. I had a similar hmmm but... oh sorry--I think it is worth careful consideration, given... I think it encapsulates some real culture. Does it involve... Do we have to take @tomcoates questioning the #newaesthetic... Do you jump in to penguin-related threads too, Ben? Why draw the line? In that case might I suggest Karl Popper debate style?... +1 Harrison Bergeron reference. the woozle Yes but the conversations actually serve as a barometer of... Don't forget that the cats need their own subscriptions. That is AMAZING GENIUS point. No, actually, you're very... Did eventually. Good jest sir it's all a viral campaign to promote the book I just... is someone WRONG on the INTERNET? Awesome Tank is not zero sum. Doing Awesome Tank on Kickstarter is a GREAT idea. As drivers of awesome tank we can safely assume that... This history is murky, but I believe developers were forced... I know, it's basically trolling. Accidentally released DM Of course, then there's "Incredibly rich people investing... Nooooooo sometimes it rocks--magazine stuff plus recent big... A wise editor once said to me, as I was in a Chomskyan... Thanks! Usually it's walking to and waiting for train,... kinda. For me it's about poking at pieties and seeing... I thought you were joking what if you are caught lingering over the curve of the... will do! Right, and Jesus Aircraft Carrier. To be fair, Jesus Tank never stops rolling. Battleship is a movie. The Chicago Manual of Style could... my tweet of this morning incorrectly identified the game... Let's talk about this on Saturday, @kfitz. Oh, REALLY?... Weekists are short-term thinkers who lack the resolve... Ever notice how Month Month is only one month long? "WE KILLED YOUR PIECE." I want to edit that way. It only lasted two days but they were two amazing days when... Or for that matter a record player. A mirror with a black frame is hung at eye level next to... There is a huge down comforter but the bed is not unmade. I keep it stored in a hopeless place. dori bangs is an awesome story. what is a g&t school? Also thank you for the spelling that... then safe access to reproductive health or a list of other... now that she's six months old we're applying to st. anne's... Nice work. a long commute? I see cat kibbutz as being a whole lot of kneading. I am bleeding all over a T-shirt and feel love for all... it's actually comforting to me too. I have always to... The MLA is no fooling around these days, @urschrei, thanks... You just have to make the grammar exciting. Huge laser bots... Hang in there? Or not! It is a lot of crazy. Your boobs are... my grammar game is called "tense" and is set in a future... I took the challenge and it turns out I'm the one out of... haha it's gonna suck for all of you when Path nostalgists... when me need style guide ? terrible until i shit on the station floor yep, anything with exorcisms counts. Yep, it truly does. I just bought the blue pig. Will go to the right of my desk... Was it for anyone in particular? Torn between HILARIOUS ANTICHRIST JOKES and a sense of... No because it wasn't on Tumblr. But OMG Ricardo Estella... Your church had a walk of shame? HUMBLEBRAG 1986. How did you deduce that your church had a swinger... (Which is not to get all sunshiney gee whiz hugfest here,... I know it's so sweet and positive and pro-weirdness all... That's pretty much a winner right there. We're all gonna work THAT out with phone calls, politeness,... Any tips? Oh man that's a lot of church basement time. Or just sitting next to a girl in a van having strong... John Birch Society Summer Camp TOTALLY COUNTS @leahpeah Different thread! "It all starts with an acoustic guitar, and a church... See I think religious youth group as a rite of Todd... No, none. Just saying "Stryper" out loud feels weird. Like saying... Yeah but Journey would be fun. Or BTO. Or Yes Big Generator... There's some crossover in that demographic. Oh god yes, love that movie. Now I'll put on Ride the... Okay so two memories, @mccreath--I once waited outside the... I like the idea of old metal dudes taking the stand. "Mr.... Actually it was more about wearing eyeliner. 2010, Kerry King/Dave Mustaine--"King noted that he 'just... I think the best course of action is for John & Rich Ziade... everyday i'm snugglin "Part 1, 'Rules of Engagement.'" here take some of these – – – – – – – you'll need them when... oh nothing just scobleizing Parrots live like 2,000 years at which point they enter a... why are people covering this crap when Obama is a lizard Today is National Draw Nothing Day. The commenters don't read the article, the writers don't... If someone literally saved my bacon it would be disgusting. "Place is a pause in movement." --Yi-Fu Tuan webinarwhal My clothes have been so many more places than I have. Web 1.0 theme restaurants. oh really how much do you want to oh god my face is melting I'm going to bet small-batch loses its hyphen by 2014. Charlie and the Small-batch Chocolate Share An update of Charlotte's Web that takes into account... The very hungry omnivore's dilemma. Don't let the urban... Which brings to mind all kinds of synergistic... My seven month old twins love books. They find them... You can tell I represent brand values because I'm facing... "Fuck asteroid mining. You want a challenge figure out how... Every expose of poverty for the last 200 years is described... http://davidsimon.com/i-meant-this/ "To prevent the injury, the best solution is to allow a... This Google Drive launch party is OTFH. So I'm reading this book about serendipity... http://isgirlson.com The song "Ordinary World" in your earphones turns ANY... NYRB Classics is bringing out a Robert Sheckley Anthology:... This guy registering 14,962 domain names makes me feel... Finally! New Passion Pit! Is what I expect myself to say... "Soon Roy Orbison stands before me, completely wrapped in... Fever ray reminds me of cling-wrap and my terrapin jetta Actor playing Judas in Brazil hangs self on stage... Dickinsonia could be animal or fungal or of an extinct... Sunday night scaries. I'm happy to pay for things by entering an email address... It's not so much "if we can put a man on the moon" as much... Troops by Von Spar http://soundcloud.com/italic/von-spar-tro... They BOTH ran instructions on downloading a Flash player?... the reality fan fiction community was arguing over canon... verisimilitude is really just a pretentious way to describe... someone should follow up with the 100th monkey and do an... i respect your passion for the things that give you money... what social network do you need to use now to get a book... tweet-193334297376206848 i mean rating cats on the web makes sense because cats are... A picture of the best baby rating website for baby child... I'm already shopping my book deal about my quest to get a... i just always assumed you guys were making as much fun of... ratemybaby.us:"You Never know maybe a TV exec.'ll see your... "Rate babies and add your own and get great parenting... i need to rate something "Have you joined the Red Bull squad yet?" Klout continues... it has a powerful immune system Gingrich aside, do you all realize how much cooler... Wild Vibram sighting in midtown. which coppola are you Mechanical Reproduction, Italian:... Zebras really appreciate a hostess gift #zooadvice The excitement of seeing someone I'm pretty sure was David... "It's good to know a cop who isn't a relative." --My... I worry that my seven-month old twins are laughing at me... Not a lot of eye contact in this Qdobo. this was a starbucks before they put in a starbucks All your Tumblr are belong to Them - Paul Smalera... When people from Manhattan ask where I live I say... The shocked prioritizer is my favorite... Helpful hobo lingo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo#Lingo_i... "I’m a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally." --Ted Nugent... Somedays you know you just want to listen to porcupine tree... Beloved superstar @mariabustillos reviews Bissell book... note the ndash it's important to the story a social network where you can only have one connection to... The system is going down for reboot NOW! Reading NOMIC rule sets reminds me of reading standards... a point in my life when I was ravenous for markup just rml really “@PoetryFound: Baking with Sylvia Plath... i created a secret society of obscure web ironists it's... I'm up to season five. no this time wearable computers for real Fun to read this 1998 review http://www.altx.com/ebr/reviews... Imagineering, coined by the crazy dreamers at Alcoa... The Alexamenos graffito is "among the earliest known... (Not that's *my* cofounder. Only God is my co-founder.) "It integrates with...docs..Plus...I'm... Right now someone with a journalism degree is getting... For example bail is set universally high because defendants... I'm done thinking about the pigeon and just thinking about... When you are on a jury with sparrows and robins there is a... I'm the only human on the jury, with five robins, four... In bed trying to sleep imagining the discrimination suit... wait i tweeted that i'm pro-abortion like an hour ago and i... women! let's hit them. fuckit just gave another $100 to http://ippf.org this is... relieved abortion is done and we can focus on spanking. We have to take semicolons seriously. This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a... It's the "almost" that makes it. "In ye olden days most... "Previously, people relied almost entirely on radio... On Monday, on Twitter, we are a nation of Garfields. will pay for your LBGT program, East Pennsboro high school... The Eidophusikon--"moving pictures" of 1786... Working together with a team of leading design thinkers to... the concept of a quiet period should not be limited to ipos Suzanne Vega learns to drive, 2003:... The real problem "Sleep soundly young Rose for I have built you a good... No one talks about book club. hedwig shot first Live @waxpancake call-in at http://tummelvision.tv podcast! Microsoft Word Is Cumbersome, Inefficient, and Obsolete.... I got in HUUUUUUGE trouble setting up a Linux box in Chris... [CFJs 1911-1914 (called 18 March 2008): Physical realities... Some NOMIC (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nomic) games have... now i'm looking for that coldplay song that sounds like... Babies everyone, analog babies.... STOP THE TRAFFIC "My two year old niece is better informed about technology... "Who give a fuck what Paul Ford thinks about Coldplay... jesus christ baby i already changed you yesterday Every time CeCe Penniston finishes an important and... Great technical piece on rendering the world, percentages... “@beep: @ftrain http://bukk.it/algebraic.gif y/n” y oh god I can see forever no one told me that there are tiny mouthless creatures... No one ever told me that dogs can have a human face coney island avenue like six blocks away a sign that says... no seriously have you ever looked at your hand no I mean... Blocks have endings I was totally sure that jeweler sold... I can see serifs on store awnings a block away I just got glasses the world is much more detailed than i... Don't worry it's just pretend. https://twitter.com/ftrain/st... If I had stepped out of the car and seen all those people I... The funpass is an awesome deal. A really good Mlkshk: http://mlkshk.com/user/adrian Turns out a lot of people don't know what a poetry chapbook... Holy shit Peter O'Toole needed some money. The sense of ownership and centralization diminishes the... Aggregate me! But let me disaggregate myself. Ludic surplus? man dead can dance can really fuck up a gym playlist Well, @Mike_FTW, hairstyles are now my #3 Klout area of... God it is in all its gray gelatinous slow-pan-fried glory... Did you want to read my thoughts on Instagram? TOO BAD... of course I'm seriouish seriously you are all usability experts? Klout score is basically the reciprocal of indie cred. I need to find something different to be obsessed about for... On Klout: "Just because someone’s from MIT doesn’t mean... MetaFilter demoscene roundup http://www.metafilter.com/11470... I want to live in a world where we make fun of Ashley Judd... RIP Jack Tramiel http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidthier/2012... The great American comment. i mean shit that's like five mashables Irony-free day was over before it started. The Q train is uninspiring this morning. "Hey, did you like the original Titanic, but wish you could... "But not all parents in brownstone Brooklyn’s politically... I love when the NYPost stirs the shit in Park Slope. This... Why I Am Leaving the People of the Red Valley... The joy of having exactly the right Allen wrench at exactly... You get the sense John Derbyshire gives this talk a lot. Looks like God needed something to hang over his sofa. #neuraesthenic Product idea: Velcro noose My son and daughter are rolling around on blankets, crying... when we see photos a naked hillary in a forest at night... Fair. Do we have to take BetaBeat's analysis of how we're not to... "Beware of the guy in a room." http://www.sdtimes.com/blog/p... there is a Lexus here in Brooklyn that is being a real... I'm assuming Oompa-Loompas are orange inside. Only one way... I just finished feeding two six-month-olds with colds a cup... Kids! Come to NYC and watch @kellan wake up early!... The childfree mommybloggers meetup was really weird. called me: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Jew." "Jew who?"... Don't let my experience distract you from my lack of... I feel I have to read YCombinator, basically so I know what... Like, you MUST read Vanity Fair if you're a horrible NYC... Unless it's something I wrote. I don't trust soc'l for this--when people preface tweets... (To be clear the magazine was not one we were personally... So I'm thinking about what do I *HAVE* to read or I risk... Talking with an ex-Harper's pal last week, he said of a... Goodnight moon. A cat has come up and is kneading my chest. My wife is... Someone is alone on the rear car of a Q train as it moves... A cat is scratching her scratching pad. People in the... My wife is stirring beside me. The gas tanks of the Mobil... In midtown @michaelroston is at work editing the home page... Young lawyers calling car service to take them home after... In bed trying to sleep after soothing my daughter. Thinking... An animated GIF of a little German kid in a factory going... Gentrify Occupy Akira next to Nadine Gordimer next to Jedi secrets. A lady... I just went into the newly remodeled Cortelyou St. public... This reads like @Mike_FTW's http://usesthis.com interview:... My $5,000,000 grant to create a newspaper that works on a... Things that are not related to Apple. Do what I do and just sit around waiting for grants. Kickstarter would make a good board game. "not everyone has the resources to hunt down an emu"... Inside Awesome Tank are things like NASA models and Pac-Man... I want to get a camper and call it AWESOME TANK and ask... In hindsight, Apple acquired NeXT in the same way the Roman... Don't hate the hater. Will Kate Winslet's boobs be all 3dized in the Titanic... Meat without feet, Columbus Circle... The song "No Scrubs" is great for classifying scrubs. It'a... Finally, a website for narcissists. The lizards that control me are seriously getting on my... True, but I liked the where-are-they-now.... "The complete planet is very large."... Do we have to take Thomas Friedman seriously? "We look forward to at least 8,000 quarters of growth." Genoways departs beneath a cloud:... "I'll continue on as an advisor and will remain on the... leads to mad peep disease I just got an uninvitation from an unconference. The number one use of Google Glasses will be recording your... Do we have to take Google Glasses seriously? "The most uptight vendors are the German artisanal stuffed... The Sidon Soap Museum, Lebanon:... extends its reach into a new finance vertical reaching... Not just keeping time. Keeping time safe. Is yours a happy beard sir? Or it it a beard of melancholy? For the record I don't approve of people who call Weekers... If you kids don't stop fighting I'm going to turn the beat... The United Nations has named 2018 the International Year of... The Clinton Administration kind of ruined Fleetwood Mac for... The wonderful moment a few years ago when the bodega on... piece on games features game that lets you shoot down DOM... I propose May as National Month Month, to celebrate... Old albums on the floor by the bed leaned against the... High fructose banner ads That's enough righteousness out of me. Damn repubs pierce... The parallel universe where Andrea Dworkin was a comic-book... Not that the two are mutually exclusive. We are emphatically not living in the future, because we... all yours I don't need to know what my friends are reading as much as... Co-foundlings I don't really think of them as twins as much as... Backus Noir Cat kibbutz Perl6 vs. Jarndyce In the house tonight. Impotence mismatch Wait XML is for documents? I promise I will never take blogs seriously. Protip: pronounce it been-ya-meen, like you are telling a... The list of things I have to take seriously is getting... Wait we have to take the New Aesthetic seriously now too? Gotcha churnalism. Oh god we're going to have to take video games seriously... I would have liked to have been in Jodeci. Lightfoot is a good middle-name-in-quotes. Barack... Shins road trip. People are really very angry about breastfeeding today. "Good gosh a'mighty, retarded people love them some Huey... Huey Lewis mentions always make me think of this:... (Settling on No Sleep Till Hammersmith) It sucks when you move to NYC because everyone like went to... Like, I remember we went to the Presbyterian Youth... Anyone have any horrible religious youth group memories? I actually thought I had a RATT memory but it's kind of... Some superfan had painted all of the band members on a... I like when old feuding heavy metal musicians make up with... Bicyclists have their own jargon. For example when one... i'm teaching my parrot to say "app" over and over again... my daughter threw up into both my eyes and my mouth. having... oh God there are going to be so many opinions today Christ's farewell email to his disciples. "Leaving behind...