March 2012 BY Paul Ford 2012 321 Sections Gotcha. It is now. the best chapter tells women how to erect a paywall. I know but I actually think that mattress manufacturing and... Is that the one with the giant processed chicken? right it's something fun you do from your phone that adds... Oh no not at all--downward trend leading to desperate... Yeah, it's time for a full reboot there. Sadly without... Thanks! I really need to publish my followup to that, which... Yes, and I'm all out of bubblegum. But also conferences are the ONLY way we have to... Hard to find the billions necessary to compete with the... Takes muscle and money. I mean, PR does this now in... Right so that's "personal platform" which is all about... He has an eyepatch ala Ogilvy's Hathaway Shirt Man; at... Delightful but being a dad is making me think a lot about... Nah, I think subverting people who buy messages and beam... in Op-Ed is particularly obsessed with Tiptoes and has... Good to see "Tiptoes" acknowledged in the open... Sinking is good (and he sinks, then they pull him up... not a wizard I love all my little verties. Wow, that went way further than I'd have expected. Every five years almost to the day! It's how I know I live... Who knew people wore Patagonia in 1325? Thanks! that one is a little trickier but man would that be great +1 for NTK revival. Spin up ezmlm and let's go. why did you unfollow me I'm right here not writing. As a ThinkUp user, I want to thumbkiss other users, because... sigh. It was broken for a while--a bug in how I wired up the one... There's something weird with the SOLR install. I forgot how... In that case I'm an awesome programmer. As a new parent I'm learning to accept that some kid's... Right, and they don't update their avatars all the time. http://geogoo.net (via @matthewmcvickar) can't wait until 2042! I still think that if I bold Rhode Island I should get... We're building a glycemic load balancer using agile... Facebook is basically like an endless bus trip with your... stop frontin I know but the plating is nice. Specu later. mu, cuz I think he personally is washing the cars that had to be... oh now let's not be drastic here. Approval proffered... I knew about Anil but I honestly assumed Choire just really... Ted you don't need a reason to life coach your cats. don't front can single me out all she wants; I enjoyed her idea and... Me too. A whole alumni network + DB access--make it... Oh--well, sure! I am. No I'm mostly saying ᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥ... That is very cool. Except nothing is worth more than $0.00001 I am partial to plovers. Could watch them all day. the symbol for attributing my tweets is 💩 #biz #hero https://twitter.com/#!/AgentRed/status/175660116182446081 Don't do it! It was a mistake. SNAKES BEWARE. actually it's milk in there I seriously so many horses oh god that explains so much The best plovers are piping plovers. Tongues and Tailfeathers. That's not an excuse. They're much less judgmental that way. Dudes I KNOW freegans who scored a ton of Kit-Kats so... If you don't pay for your facts, then you are the facts... That he takes cash. it was in grad school. ♨ ⫸ EXACTLY NEVER AGAIN Don't forget the other 1,302 http://www.themorningnews.org/a... This has all been so therapeutic to me. So many secrets out... "Happy Birthday Chuck Norris: King of Internet Memes" I was the result. Like an Internet Athena bursting from the... That's nice to hear, though! I was proud of the work I did... bbbbbbbbbb thank-you and now I feel bad for passive-aggressive toilet... "49 New Digital Media Resources You May Have Missed" My rule is tell just the part that's useful, and the rest... Okay that was like seven stereotypes fulfilled at once. You... Giving @Mike_FTW a #handy in #ballroomD in #exchange for... My startup gamifies parenting. Why does a dog use lipstick? Probably, and that's fun, but also like this:... Exactly! No, a million! In that vein, I'd recommend "Highbrow/Lowbrow: The... The literary tradition he extols is also the one where he... COME BACK SIX HOURS FROM NOW. Basscamp: Oonch Oonch Oonch Oonch Oonch Oonch Oonch Basecamp: A Journey Beyond Timetracking Basecamp: The 38th Signal Fuzzy hobos? And then they run around the quadrangle while Vangelis... "In 100 years’ time...our universities will all have a... I can't even imagine what the talking is like. Did they remove your Habermass? it looks like America--an America with the right number of... "Vikings attacked a Gloria Estefan concert by catapulting... US$82.31/yr is a little steep for the anon-sourced claim... Related: How to cite a distributed tattoo by Shelley... Actually, beverage journalism is nowhere near as good as I... Thanks! Not really (just re-checked)--is purely about the... Can you summarize? Didn't have time to read that whole... This is true. The beverage industry, for example, has... Made arm, all day. Daydream llama. Alarmed malady. Also bout time someone called what2expect on its bullshit. 's piece getting tons of readers is the opposite of a... drink three glasses of water and stretch sometimes they just repeated page ranges but with... oh I know. I had to create pagination description mini-lang... oh dude 1850s pagination and binding was craaaazy times Enough talk there are badges to be earned. All the laws passed. That's the problem. We all work for Google, when you think about it. that's the good stuff. Emacs is truly sublime. Can we go diving outside the Kit-Kat factory? "You are like MacNamara getting me into this Vietnam of the... Whoa. --Howard Jones That last via @nzle I like doofy April Fool's web stuff, & obsessive catalogers... Collier's relaunched in Feb with an essay by Gingrich.... The New York Times Guide to Home Repair Without a Man... The CEO of Pure LatexBliss, a mattress manufacturer...has... "I hope that he is leisurely eaten alive by a pack of rabid... The death of Marat in emoji! 👳 📝🛀✂ (🇫🇷?) I don't usually like to promote events, but Jean-Paul Marat... Sort of like, get Ogilvy and David A. Aaker and just... I.e. FUD about the whole smartphone category. Cancer is... I think the story would be sort of kid culture jammers... I love advertising, BTW, esp. historic ads. But that... Brand warfare would make a good short story if nothing else. Just seeding the media landscape with hilarious unavoidable... Imagining a war on brands and branding. Not so much the... "I bet the people who hate civil liberties have really nice... “@tumblr: Tumblr crossed the 20-billion-post mark Monday... So okay @RachelFersh @elizabethminkel months ago I made up... I think verties is probably the most annoying slang for... in that case let's launch verticals together Let's talk verticals. What did they do with Cheney's old heart? thump thooka whompa whomp pish pish pish thumpaty wompah... Jury duty in Brooklyn. Watching a low-budget video of... “I’m Fantasia” » The Slumbering Lungfish Dybbuk Hostel and... Bleak House, but the lawsuit is in space on two ships... If ten is funny, a hundred must be HILARIOUS. --Buzzfeed I start many sentences with "Speaking as a joke," Dragonspayer ©➿🅿 I have become the thing to mock. Which is funny in its own... Um I'm confused I had a $2 fake cell to annoy my friends and I would tell... Remember when people with cell phones were pretentious and... Watching firemen back the truck into the Cortelyou St.... A big sign that says IRONY with an arrow that points to... Why?????????????????? Are extra question marks annoying?????????????????? http://whoisthecutest.com/ will your new web app feature thumbkissing?... and @ginatrapani seeking to destroy the NATURAL ORDER of... http://m.npr.org/story/149379355 Easter egg hunt canceled... Est size of heaven, in cubic miles, according to the... http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/26/nyregion/at-ailing-brookly... Atop an old PHP file: "DEAR GOD REFACTOR ME FOR I AM... http://mikedaisey.blogspot.com/2012/03/some-thoughts-after-s... Any web framework demonstrated in a screencast is... This is nothing against people. It's just that dogs don't... I'm far more excited when dogs accept my friend requests... “That’s going to be the newest thing in real estate... ...says a 47-year-old divorced man, whose female friend... ...at the last minute asked to omit her last name because... “I was on the Acela" Yogel agrees: “It’s revitalized everyone’s marriage on the... “It’s just a fun escape from the daily mundane of trudging... ...who hails “Fifty Shades” as “the new kabbalah for female... “I found myself explaining what BDSM was to some of the... "excited whispers about the book’s 'red room of pain' (a... Amazing lines in this NYPost article on "50 Shades of Grey"... It was 10 shades of grey before it showed up on HuffPo. The parallel universe where Conny Plank produced The Joshua... "The halcyon days of Choire Sicha."... Publishing a book in 2012 is like trying to kiss the ass of... "the sea has nothing to give but a well excavated grave."... Autotune Symphony of Science TED remix... A human mass that seethes for access. Gives me time to do my Bob Garfield word jumble. "A Nina Totenberg inspired crossword for your weekend." Well, if u can't do it w/<!LINKTYPE>/& features... Silicon Valley Story, The Preview 1.3, a film by/starring... What in God's name will the "Teen Mom"-inspired car be... "The strategy is to infuse GM with the same insights that... Forty-six percent of drivers aged 18 to 24 said they would... My standing desk is paleo. Page Mass, Screenleech, Eyeshitter, Squamous Remora,... Longreads gets ads http://adage.com/article/mediaworks/virgi... Bilingual, raw food, balloons = 1st birthday party.... Smog computing: http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/... NYC great today. The Village. Sun, sidewalk gum. "Kiss of... The last uncontacted tribe on the Internet "The methods include FileLawsuits, FileComplaints...... This pop-up hotel is actually just an abandoned Arby's. Don't rather like. I am life coaching the shit out of the cats right now. No one says "have a good one" outside of the gym. "Lunch, disrupted" The best technology journalism is in my heart. For context--whenever I hear calls for politeness I go here... That blog post, however, made your entire neat project... That wasn't meanspirited derision. That was me trying out... Reading http://chronicle.com/blogs/wiredcampus/could-many-un... All movies can now automatically become comic books... Boomslang. Secretary is really Bartleby slash fiction. I also found a list of slang I made up for VCs. Large firms... 2.0 2.0. 14) The Seawall Abatement Disaster; 15) The Copper Blight;... 8) The Palace Riots; 9) The Pandamjandemic; 10) The Eastern... 3) The December Corn Strike; 4) Hurricane Mohammad; 5) The... I found a list of 16 potential disasters I listed in a... "Recipes are product." http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/14/din... A History of the World: ᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥᔥ... Folders where everything is a folder. On the bridge with a mouth full of bottle glass. Ass kissing has a really lousy signal/noise ratio. May the road etc. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/18105261... Coworker: "i can understand masturbating in public, that's... The Republicans have transformed me into an angry feminist.... http://www.colonialswedes.org/forefathers/Yocum.html "He came to America because he got put in a dungeon when he... I am hearing about the Swedish log cabin. My mom is here talking Swedish emigration 1638. My wife... Together we can stop genealogy. I want plovers everywhere at the edge of vision. Subway... Donno. Daisey's thing is open-sourced and awesome. The work... At first I thought it was sort of ridiculous but the more I... This Mike Daisey/This American Life thing is incredibly... Shamrocks and Shenanigans. I get to drink water and take the train across the bridge... they are on pigeon bikes talking about how hard it is to... I get to help libraries, and get to write checks to help... I get to see the price of gas across the street $4.01, I... I get to watch tiny kids in hijab wait for the B68. I get... I like to switch out the words have to with get to. I get... I go down to the little gym in my building in the mornings... Culture with a capital K. (1) It's stupid; (2) only teens use it; (3) only women use... Why I Am Leaving the Whig Party And on this R train for Grace mannish water ram goat flavor... The parallel universe with paragraphs. Unfettered bartlebism is destroying America. On the train on the bridge into the city the Mohawk and the... Back on the bridge. When I get home I will tell the... I keep imagining an "It Gets Better" video for former... Everyone calm down. We can't fix this. Whoa. Didn't expect to see Bruce Springsteen on a panel... 2005-2010 http://www.theawl.com/2012/03/rich-mans-rant-about... Hiding from my destiny is my destiny. Collectively we forgot how to throw away a newspaper. #sxsw Monetize me I said and the city said yes. Phones nestled into open books. I am on a train on a bridge in a city. Everyone is reading... Is aggregation? Can someone tell me how to pronounce "Lefebvre"? Yes I know... but how do you log into your email? Well at least we know it wasn't a talent acquisition. "I’m all for committing at the earliest possible moment."... My tiny son just gave the biggest, happiest, most joyful... The weather is just beautiful in NYC. Good day to go to the... I like things where you can squint and see patterns. My startup will save both Africa AND longform journalism. Incredibly excited to announce that The Decemberists are... "Serious readers and writers, these are my people. And we... http://Will.i.am just gave Tim Berners-Lee a piggyback ride... The parallel universe without the IAB. "Incredibly excited" https://twitter.com/#!/search/%22incred... C BOIMB M LOINOS http://www.bibliocommons.com/ I'm a one of a million kind of guy. The parallel universe where Depeche Mode recorded Lucky Man. Whenever I hear of anyone doing anything "in residence" I... After the big news about the new iPad, Foxconn employees... "I was a woman whose ears needed foundation." @clairezg... Basecamp is now splitting into Basecamp Classic and... Pat Ambrose profiles Hank III http://www.themorningnews.org/... Koch bros vs. Cato Institute--what the hell kind of free... Little pandas drinking milk from bottles... Kickscience http://www.petridish.org A cold day, a hot cup of tea, an afghan sweater, and The... Adornity. *1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1... The first flexidisc was made in 1920:... Great essay about programming lang research... Land bridge to Governor's Island... You had me at "meow." (via http://www.metafilter.com/113491/Flamingos-are-a-go) Hating on Red Grooms's AWESOME proposed Marlins home-run... Sublime style minimap for Emacs:... The Bevis Frond - Johnny Kwango... I scale horizontally. Metafilter users really like the word "delightful." “@dntsqzthchrmn: @dankois @ftrain ... you are making me... Lord "Cities in Dust" is a fine song. Those tweets to which people reply "truth" are inevitably... #HowMalcolmGetsASibling is trending MAYBE SOME OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED ARE NICE GOOD PEOPLE DID... CLICK IT Is Gamification Right for You? http://adage.com/article/digi... Slate to start a monthly review of books:... "Sloth milk is somewhat hard to come by." Twin baby sloths http://grist.org/list/hot-buttered-sloths-i... Gonna get on the train for an hour with @readability for... Fascinating HN comment about West/East cultural barriers in... Five times a day I'm writing something to someone and I... I am going to go to America and report firsthand on the... 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