February 3, 2014 - Breakfast

I missed a few things tracking the last few days, I know. Some cereal and yogurt, and so forth. I also forgot tracking that I went to the gym.

I'm doing okay, though. My mom had a pretty severe emotional break and decided, very suddenly, that my brother doesn't respect or love her enough and so she cut him out of her life by sending him an email and a letter telling him that she wanted no more contact.

It's forced my brother to look clearly at her behavior and he's horrified and hurt; he accurately describes her email as "the meanest thing I've ever seen." And it's true, it's an unbearably mean email written specifically to hurt. I've seen this behavior a million times before, but it's really surprising she did it to my brother, who has always been the only person who would put up with the consequences of her illness.

Mom called me last night and acted as if it didn't happen. I was wondering whether I'd get threats of suicide or something dark like that, which happens, but instead I got "we won't conference in your brother to our call tonight." I don't think she can actually understand how incredibly strange and sick this is, to decide to end a relationship with my only brother, to just snap that as if it didn't matter--my brother--is "out" and then not acknowledge it, to pretend it doesn't matter. Especially since the week before during our scheduled call she was just hysterically rambling and we were listening.

The problem is that for her it's stress relief. For him it's a permanent break in the relationship; he will never be able to jump back in where she left off.

I brought it up after a few minutes. It was not a great conversation. I told her I'd share news about our children. We left it there. My brother is deeply injured in a way that she can no longer do to me.

What a mess.