November 12, 2013 - Snack

See, this is the spot where I went wrong. The carob-covered peanuts. Sneaking. The process was, I got off the train and walked past the natural foods store and thought, well, let's go in there. Then I walked over to the office and sat down and god knows how many carobs-covered peanuts I ate. I mean, I bought the small container. But it sort of goes like, oh hey, I'll just have a few. And then I'm at about halfway through the box and I go, well, fuck it. I'm not going to save those for later. I'm going to have them right now. I'm not even enjoying it now. I mean these are sugar-free carob-covered peanuts. They are more of a digestive aid than a delicious candy. But fuck it, we're going to town. I actually had this moment where I looked at say the last of the ten of the peanuts and thought, well, we're almost done. I can see the position of each carob-covered peanut in the fucking box. I have complete awareness and am totally capable of perceiving every step of what I'm doing but the hand keeps reaching out, the mouth keeps chewing.