December 2015 BY Paul Ford 2015 544 Sections What a bunch of characters! Williamsburg defines the fine line between Bros. and bros. we ARE! EXACTLY I've got it down to maybe three pieces on Medium. down to the avatar its SO good plus a number of the women in the catalog now have twelve... since when has that been on the list Division by Coke Zero. oh my god Entrepreneurship can happen everywhere, Tim. “There is no E. coli in Chipotle.” Umm actually there is if... this is not my work account For context here is the sad racist Alf video... was it some kind of proxy then? there were a few of these... wow I just think everyone should TRY the patriarchy, you know?... I personally can't figure out the problem? It feels like we got through maybe six whole months without... Internet 1996: http://pied.nu/banned/the_Dilbert_Hole/... agreed I am very disciplined when working with others but when... can't say I blame you The weird thing with Trump is that NYC would last about... wow that's a new one to me. There are hundreds, maybe... i deserve no better maybe it's time for a group of young hackers to create a... There's a whole class of software for megachurch management... I'm sorry I am a passive aggressive monster making you all... spydere! Jesus we are all going to be making connected pet amusement... when I was 15 I found this hand-typed "word wealth"... lolol it's so skeevy but they have to pee I just want out Dave Twitter keeps giving finn It may be the time I wrote about poetry. we are currently watching gilmore girls in our home i know what automating screenshots is like and it's nice to... smh which reminds me i need to postpone drinks katie can we put this behind us and just agree that what... i still publish on my medium blog and haver you misspelled knob i've seen lower also i think you are being really judgmental because i... OOF i'm always *w*racked with anxiety also unwarranted is... have you been hacked did you look through it though I DO NOW is the twitter card for this an automated screenshot?... my tweets were pretty bad a lot of the time too but that's... oh THAT is where that's from don't make this awk jack (tbh I always love pipe-delimited because you can see the... https://csvkit.readthedocs.org/en/0.9.1/scripts/csvformat.ht... yeah that's the danger zone HOWEVER "csvformat... first of all i listen to all the raps is this just some stealth attempt to get me to listen to... I have 30 gigs at least. that was HILARIOUS I encourage you to make a list and share it with them. tractors she is really great and i don't know why she's not more in... Right, you can start there, see how it feels. its just a total cultural disaster zone I once ran a werewolf game pretending to be a new yorker... I don't think they ever sued Zotero tho. it's a form of cultural insanity that they aren't; same... there's always "reasons" for this sort of garb and those... i mean just also have some damn sense sometimes copyright... my god this will account for 90% of blog posts over the next 25... wow https://vine.co/v/OQqxU7KFzKY I just follow team convention, tends to be spaces. Spent... oh man AGREED who is shown as a terrible mother and clown what even with... I mean that question mark the typography too its so intense https://m.flickr.com/#/photos/missjille/9754066016/in/set-72... managing white space is a big issue at nearly every tech... oh he already said tabs emacs with nxml, which was predictable and pretty smart wait but the two of you have basically insane standards... whitespace-only commits are so bad and noisey this is kicking off my horror vacui for reals matt sweet baby jesus you literally had meaningless spaces... Relax, we are all history's worst monster. I remember this too. HMMMMMm maybe this isn't it. It sure looks right. ARGH. I think it has like, a section that tells you that YOU CAN... omg i've been looking for this book forever, I... Now I'm depressed at all the times I've seen people told... no i met the guy he's a student seems chill You know it's true. The #1 thing that encourages people to... wow okay yes But I mean, Emacs. They're both really amazing free software created by... CSV because EVERYTHING has a robust importer now. However,... i haven't seen mary poppins since i was four. or bambi. i'm... wearing work-appropriate clothing and then the painful realization, covered in baby vomit,... There's also that class of things that cause interest to... Jesus that song lol wow this podcast has never existed and it already has... Oof yeah. I was about to type “Man do I miss BYTE,” and... Although the sheer raw volume of good technology guidance... The average quality of actual technology guidance seems to... Anyway I have a lot of thoughts on this. Like, we had... Oh wait, I see. Except it kind of IS innovation because... i think it was very similar in a ton of ways but there is... Right, and the hairstyles need a lot of work. It's true! We should learn to appreciate it more.... I mean...it probably truly was. It's fun to use in-browser,... they'll never let me I think in some cases function keys and keyboard overlays... We're probably going to get back to 1989 programming some... Need to compile? It's not scary. Hit F9. i want to love this but a typical scene looks like... this series is my favorite thing I've read in months whoa show me people listening to dogs bark in 1710 show me life in a cave 25,000 years ago show me the newspapers i'd read in chicago in 1910 don't worry matt oh man rip leia soon then I mean, works perfectly. By people who were barely adults! It's wild. so good leah America means never choosing! Jesus that is a year. Dan you need to let yourself Imagine. One of the major risks to the brand is that so much of the... So young, cool people on the Internet are asking, “Who... TMBG killed it tho We did get to see a little with that Cirque de Soleil... this is a great pairing of author and editor. patrick... it's so good, the fairy just chooses death immediately Leah shouldn't you be working on your zine? come home the children ask for you rich toddlers have a calmness and sense of self-assurance... shit we have to help those kids So @18F has had an amazing year and that image/caption is... they should turn on taint checking its not unusual to see me cryin' “It’s not unusual for employees to be wiped out while... whatever gets the press I guess nothing much to report really, just if you go to... That anti-Chipotle campaign is funded by fast food fwiw... oh yeah its from these horrible people... Right, okay, there's been some whole campaign I see now.... holy shit their heads are even at the same angle C-3PO is Rey's mom. That picture keeps getting better every time I look at it. I hope this film has a touching message about sharing... tired of this twisted game https://twitter.com/ftrain/status... you're moving back to NYC? he was complaining about footnotes to me and when I went to... not science babe though that was magical I read all of these and just about all of them left me... just chillin Good point! Added! here's a video that you both deserve... that talk was originally a NYTM kill! I hate the site of my giant jarbly fucking head is the only... Oh my god this is one of our worst and most vivid travel... oh my god and Christmas week I'm hyperventilating thinking you can really work this one out from first principles can you get them to turn the camera the right way next time... I read that he didn't want to do sequels in general tell me a the first four hours are fun but it goes a little woo for... the saddest stans of all i mean jesus christ we GET it omg the dog on there "I am a dog (woof :o3 ) but my parents... Nitpricking we are all terrible parents not a lot of actual surprises left tbh although I'm... is running for office on this platform oh, well, that's about what I would have guessed oh lots of people want to know what are cummies? I don't know if people know this but the Beagle Bros... Exactly you can FEEL the Sheraton Ballroom when you see... “Today, Bill, Cub, Chuck, and Ted are here to bestow this... My brain is a bag of rats. huh @joshuatopolsky this really gets a lot looser after... Yeah but you got the entire plot of PATTERNS for free? what is HAPPENING oh wow that cover story how could you read that entire thing I wonder if @harrisj is harrisj in that screenshot? ahhhhh okay. yeah there were a number of comments-on-pages... wait what was the experience this is a good idea! i kept trying to think of couples that could top this but... “tomorrow we will come back and do the makeup on this... It's from the New Yorker. we are at like eight of these today :/ this is so real have you seen the Joe Sacco comic thingy? It's real neat. I... god now i'd have to find it but i will keep an eye out! i own a copy of this, it's really something i wish I were there its the best i'm sorry for your death yeah I'm garbage, I had a fight about a sweater with a tiny... depends I mean it deends dooooo it hahah oh god that is exactly how I feel waiting for this... I mean you are basically showing an adult woman your secret... this can only lead to you feeling embarrassed? true Which is It just needs to be beautiful and bright, doesn't need to... So it's 5' by 7' minimum or much bigger, and will be on... i kind of need to floss i was feeling kind of observed OH MY GOD I FORGOT what are you trying to tell me kevin totally I met a guy at a party a couple months back who ghostwrites... strong holy shit that's stong omg our EXACT sentiment every now and then I notice how well they execute and how... you know what's really depressing? minor league chew. this is very fair or you could also do graffiti with a brick tied to your... I know that owning firearms does not automatically make you... One way to support the second amendment is to demand a man... sure of course let me just get to a landline wait should i call the number or not http://blog.dilbert.com/post/133406477506/global-gender-war in the former, no, but in the latter, yes :( tbh http://readme.org is the only one i'd want It's just too soon to tell. I know it's tempting to project some sort of meaning into... we'll never see it, so we can only assume so! https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/675511952840486914/photo/1 thank you Daniel! Very kind. amazing Jack what was it called yesiam we always forget and they always remind us obviously for christmas you should give that child a... I think the ultimate Hollywood magic trick is getting... i'm out of town otherwise i'd be totally there and would... this is okay but it would be better if she did it while... it's 12,000 ads for CAROL interspersed with video of famous... our incredible journey i wish linkedin would leave me alone I accept that this might be the peak of my time on Twitter. cool to see so many brands working together! I'm there for me the problem is I'm so good at puns people would scream too... No, perhaps as painted on screen?But in most rich text... had a really great pun worked out that ended "charged as... no I just found.it one day lol I miss the mark most times But I mean this is the job is to help the humans do what... sigh Sometimes I fall short. Anything that doesn't do that can be safely cut. don't reply I already reported myself to Christine we did areas of high gloss paint up to three feet from the... matt why are you tweeting you have to do more work Yes, this is real. Gotta happen! omg rich and i will be space ghost totally come be brak oh god i'd love to live in chicago I hope they know how amazing you are. why do you live in that hellhole when there is a much... this is very cool lol this perfect tho "newsworthiness" ruins everything camille you'll never get that all-important lobsters invite... Patrick whoever did that brilliant thing needs MUCH MORE... they sorted that crack along many axes! lol, yes, we're on that now too thank you All fixed, thanks to @mutewinter and @tinystride —thanks... fundable idea KAREN...well, I mean, of course you can thanks you've given me . . . . . pause Well...that was more of a researched memo. Remember real... With total sincerity, if we can provide any more... It's a hell of a product! Jason! Do you work there now? Hi! The issue is that there's no easy CSS/DOM match because... sigh we're using a nice decentralized third-party service... but jenn this is two seconds AFTER the dom is loaded probably because you're poopsocking home from work I'm sorry I was on the bus. Charlie Chaplin's United Artists wasn't a tech company but... Welcome to Selenic Holdings the first lunar incubator. Our... long bus ride My interactive fiction startup is going to devour its... What would you call an Uber for chimney sweeps making more... its a challenge because you also end up with a poon icorn Maybe Breather will be known as a noonicorn. Which brings me to large Israeli startups. Fred Wilson says there is opportunity in lists... Snapchat's logo is a ghost but no one calls it a Boo-nicorn. no the whole thing is weird but in a way that feels... “It Is Impossible to Believe How Mindblowing These Amazing... oh, we'll see! You've been making semantic graph progress for a LONG TIME! god that cover no no the remote unit delivers a steady electric shock if... asdefslk;hadfs https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/672846927768240128/photo/1 this can help https://open.spotify.com/track/3jDdpx9PMlfMBS5... When you're done with that come see me. Nah I'm a MUCH better writer than programmer and I could be... I mean it will happen eventually? It's just gonna take a... holy shit this ad is extraordinary cool “Sara is dialing in.” (Oh God.) “Via WebEx.” (Oh no.) “Can... anyway we bought an apartment instead well it was going to be only partly about hypotheticals and... i'm so into this! I once registered http://FEATURISM.COM... oh man what if people had to check in to meetings i dunno with a good pitch deck it seems fundable Tbh I'm a bot and it was an off-by-one in my Icon code. its basically cultural technical debt that no one can pay... I mean I think that's what every calendar product... omg the product I want just became CALENDER CLEANER it might be easier, from a product perspective, to cancel... oh no Jacob if anyone can understand you it's a machine yes imagine travel time built in, what a miracle! yes and then lets use machine learning to define an actual... it is time for a national conversation on ical basically there's a rules-based bot that functions as a... you know what would help is giving every meeting an email... its so fundamentally broken I think we should probably be... something is deeply wrong is there a safe place to discuss totally reinventing... “ltd. cassette available now” this in particular: http://www.edn.com/design/automotive/442... wow every day whole new worlds open up to me “Is it a cold front?” “Yes Lisa.” I miss that a lot when I try new big node-requiring... Right and that should be celebrated. I like big complex... They're like the Unix utilities of web making and get less... Single-HTML-page-CSS-and-JS apps are the best. Now I want... https://soundcloud.com/leavingrecords/sets/deantoni-parks-te... sorry soundcloud my brain is FRIED THE FIRST TRACK ON SPOTIFY OMFG FINALLY :( ALL brands Thank you, David. ulgh sigh I DO You should try it! gonna be a great weekend! Do you want to come on @PostlightAgency's podcast and make... Brands are publishers now. oh lord i can't remember! probably, but all the edits etc... yeah, totally, have fun at the White House MAYBE it was because you were all "let's make this business... Are you kidding? Fort Wayne is one of my favorite cities! of all the people to be my destiny though i mean it's... anil i swear to god we need to be cremated so that we can't... lol we can both be awkward Because a lot of weird-ass people have power over... It's a tiny part of an enormous effort to get computer... little of each we should document these rules i'm imaging a gushing cartoon oil well labelled PASSWORDS use node honestly now that you did that mockup it feels a lot less... oh this is so cool also i love the user acceptance testing... NEVER why stop at one? You can't run stock Android on your cat... Facebook wins the graph, WordPress wins the page, Android... There are currently 120 billion Android users and thirteen... people are REALLY into capitalism even after all these... listen Jack stop waiting for Lesstif it's not gonna happen i contributed imagine if people were not hell bent on robbing things of... i think that might be the only sensible reply? humans are territorial over the craziest shit! I love that there are rules as to what is and what isn't miss u jack ghostz I died six months ago. I was just thinking how much I love stuff like this, like... ohhhh my just a regular writer http://articles.philly.com/1994-07-31/... jesus christ leah FOR REAL also GUARANTEED to ruin at least one marriage proposal he got really into vocabulary while being in prison in the... years later I went and researched it and it had been... shit that "IS" oh god what have I DONE my english teacher made me not use passive voice for an... I have to stop assuming things which I...understand I guess? I just assumed all that Total... flowdock i mean you are one of the small number of people who truly... Frank Mills is a good song. i'd like to add you to my professional network on linkedin... I just think we don't talk about insufferability enough... Rusty literally made the “they couldn't get Paul” joke I... Sorry, let me rephrase that. In what way were YOU most... Of all the bizzarre cultural roles into which we have... this is so weirdly watchable https://www.youtube.com/watch?v... law is gross https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20151224/2358... Amazing book covers. http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com/... https://medium.com/@lauraolin/the-most-important-dog-vines-o... so tired https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/68149365263237529... Holiday week rush hour is a portrait of the perfect New... We are watching Gilmore Girls. Unrelated, here's a scan of... Rory is volunteering for Habitat and her hammer is wearing... Only 18 hours left to join the 1,300 people who have voted... Tabs or spaces? A short story about a pandemic done as a food blog... Reinventing the wheel is necessary if they keep making new... this is for like only extreme nerds but sakes alive borland... thinking about http://oldweb.today and what other systems... Worry Quest is an attempt to soothe anxiety via app:... Has anyone analyzed The Force Awakens in the context of the... just check the menu for the "not fried in lard" icon. Is there anything more magical in this world than piles of... “Twas the night before start-up.” 30 years ago, this... it's definitely a taco I agree with @rosecrans, cassette tapes are garbage.... Do rich people actually put make their toddlers wear... I've often wondered if there is really expensive Agile... Via https://twitter.com/18F/status/679813274586755072... What a difference two years makes.... Sometimes the fact that if I stayed on this bus an extra... Wow I just briefly became angry because there are noisy... is this snow fall There are 3 sorts of people: Those who sell sausage-making... god i've never seen that behavior before you must have done... just relax lee he will not hurt you he will only be kind jesus lee i'll TEACH you Casey says watch this/I hate all videos of people talking... I made a list of the things I remember writing in 2015.... which, i mean, i'm good on tote bags No publication has ever sent me a pin before.... i really like this award, especially the names, which are... Listen to Tomorrow with @joshuatopolsky if you want to hear... I missed this it goes deep. https://twitter.com/michaelbshan... try as hard as I might I can't figure out why CD-ROM Today... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_defunct_American_per... I wonder why the Mast Bros. won't just produce birth... i...wow... https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect... “I could hear their dogs peeing on the floor upstairs.”... YouTube is telling me that there is a moment in time when a... Holy shit the cookie decorations videos on YouTube are... Jet fuel can't remelt steel beams. Wtf is happening https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/678005379... “She gave up the Lord's time,” Herndon continued. “She gave... via @waxpancake http://www.clickhole.com/video/houses-amazin... I wonder if these companies have products I could use? But... i mean maybe it HAS? i'm happy to have a piece in this book of nerdy stories by... We at @PostlightAgency NYC have budget to do an abstract... This seems stressful http://fusion.net/story/244545/famous-... I'm biased but this is a really pleasant company with some... “Wolfgang does not wish to speak with you unless you exhume... It's really warm, but don't draw any conclusions. Thousands of words of fighting related to commas in decimal... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/675054710429192194/photo/1 did you watch charlize theron http://www.nytimes.com/interac... hope you like pre-rolls http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2... Poll: LinkedIn will live longer than you will. I was here tonight. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/674752... I know that earworms can play on repeat within your brain... It is critical to remember that a horizontal line in MSWord... Wow people on Twitter have a lot of wrong opinions about... i'm a leo it's all good this is 100% the music for our new podcast probably THRONE... oh awesome ACHIEVABLE goals lee what features do you look for in a podcast were i to start... those dudes who manage index funds and tell you not to... come on dude this only took me like a minute to... for accountability, the tech news site lobsters keeps track... Browser plugins are like Rumpelstiltskin — they promise to... [grizzled man speaks] this looks shopped [holds up hook... Things arranged neatly. https://twitter.com/NYPD70Pct/status... why in god's name wasn't @jenniferdaniel given this... i c u http://newyorker.com https://twitter.com/ftrain/status... hope u like moments Wi-Fi works in the bathroom. Today I need you to put words in the boxes and data in the... I woke up in a state of anxiety; my first thought was, “If... You know who would be amazing at doing the weather? Wendy... Sweet baby jesus in the manger this first track... this just came in from Berlin, courtesy of @jackrusher, and... Quad city djs just came on the playlist this elliptical is... Sometimes I wonder if ironic bon mots are the best way to... Or am I creating a nest of sick intrigue to cover up a... Guys you might as well make this your pinned tweet.... this thread is still going https://twitter.com/ftrain/status... is jogging burnalism I'm giving a talk on the 10th. It includes a big museum... this is happening in my mentions right now and i have no... it doesn't matter because you still can't hire developers... running android ulgh please quit this steicheny bullshit nyc... Two of these give me the willies but feel pretty real:... At some level hating Zuckerberg is a lot like loving the... One thing you can do to get through tonight is say these... i need a new headshot because that one is basically a lie... that would be...very uncomfortable 2016 resolution: Get off Twitter, for all but... My children have now talked loudly for seven straight... This is the last thing I will write in 2015.... It is so weirdly ironic to watch a bunch of programmers... The conversation that follows this poll is a perfect... We just watched Mary Poppins. Maybe 30% of it is about... Just took the twins up to the roof of the apartment... Part of me really wants to see what it would be like if... Artisanal Java is hand-crafted from bean to jar. thanks to disney there will be star wars movies until after... Awful lot of seen-Star-Wars privilege in this timeline. I keep thinking about this cartoon.... Emacs fireplace https://github.com/johanvts/emacs-fireplace I'm not usually an angry person but something about the... I don't understand how to be alive right now... “Why I can’t stop putting dildos into the hands of powerful... The new Apple iPhone battery-pack case is such a crime... this is what it looks like to write a book using github... I have a very simple strategy when it comes to writing or... LOTS of opinions on podcasts; what i'm hearing is: two... [throws laptop into bathtub] there i solved email Something I just published: “If Pinterest is going to do... If Zappos was founded today it would be a shoenicorn. I wrote a thing about databases for my friends at... this site that emulates old browsers via docker containers... Today I took my kids on the subway to Manhattan and... If you're not the sausage-making equipment, you're the...