September 2015 BY Paul Ford 2015 648 Sections he wanted to thank them for autumn sweater i'm pretty stoked that twitter lets you have conversations... john home! nah i mean it really is just a very good overall experience... i mean patrick it's LIBYA Using a plastic knife my four-year-old son sliced a cheese... oh my god i can only imagine was did you get the right kind of milk sigh podcasts Ilovenewyork slightly different yet still accurate dammit And thanks yes, this is such a good team. oh no i've been consulting for more than a decade, I... oh we need all kinds of people don't hesitate to get in... i love opportunity! how's work lawS and sausages I mean Check out @ftrain's Tweet: https://twitter.com/ftrain/status... roset is cool people are basically kind and I can figure this out i hope his holiness likes stale but still somehow delicious... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/643802904596512768/photo/1 I should just give them my routing info from my bank noah that does not qualify as a humblebrag it's like 30,000... The code of the express bus dads is that conversations are... honestly that's the funniest thing i've read all day food supply and migrant labor maybe in rush to publish stuff was...journalism...scoops... no no an sva student presented this as part of the get to... Can anyone explain to me what this video intended to... can you offer me a quote xortelyou I mumble and shuffle. would GLADLY have taken that gonna be five days of rain now in the back by the tree? oh no why did you ask cool podcast subject you know what though before I had a daughter I had NO IDEA... it's pretty good i have been :/ i bring my best it makes them dads basically i mean that's extreme but not atypical yep i love him. his short stories like the depressed person are... leah no i can't keep up antti now i just made myself very depressed feminine genius is distinguished by its focus on laundry omg wait channel 36 ACTUALLY gets social media that makes sense because he embodies the complexities and... Alexis Hi! it's the mystery of our time imo i learned it from you i think it's fun to overlap signifiers with people like you whom... begrudgingly i put that little + after 2x because i know my readership... it can happen to you! I mean it's no weirder than milk? I'm mostly over my flu. At their school I learned that early drop off was cancelled... this is very strong thank you oh interesting What is #jjho? hmmmm do they write the script now too that image is rough stuff the only power move is to take responsibility and sell the... The form of these posts is horrible always. They should be... fair whoa “oh. these are more of a summer apple than a fall apple.” “it's fine, totally fine” no no these grains are fine oh my god where do you even start i just need to check what the five additional grains are the best is when you bring it home and it's like, "oh, 21... oh my god what is the sudden pause thing that happens in... it was also like, requested specifically due to bad cold,... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/648190527523958784/photo/1 i have never purchased the correct cough syrup not once but 20 years It's like for every engineer you get two QA and two data... oh god yeah you can see the emerging patterns here... yeah i mean plus android fragmentation, plus ad network... i mean it's a lot but it's like, how many are like, writing... and zero writers sure just do it on top of AWS using any one of the... “bizarre to need two thousand software engineers for... 16 years to go! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qAuqq1LFnU true! post-libertarianism can wear you out but in other news u2... “Silicon Valley shld look beyond itself & act more on... 90% of the time it would just be pill bottles and melon... it's hard enough for publishing maria also what's in YOUR... wait Janet you like the METS? hhahahahah yeah perfect “can we bump the aids activist and... Could we just call them “vanities.” “Did the Bono vanity go... is there a term of art for the things that important... this is really true i'm sending you a google calendar alert for 2035 for when... a rose for purity Anyway it will be fun! I read this as “the web, today.” And had a huge panic... that was a special case and hilarious but nah they... MeFi is great links, grisly threads just buy it its cool and the dude is cool USEFUL banana suit andrew for god's sake it's like anything in that it's super-easy in theory and... “Obviously, the feral cats are going to spread the fuck... but we still need to get that link sounds like a rough morning wait are you the one that isn't PJ? it's amazing you can keep it moist given how many sick... there's really no CMS designed to serve under 500 pageviews... Thank you! That's good to hear. I figured, it's... i didn't think you were dismissive! I'm confused, is it actually a podcast or do you just... As long as they will have me. I mean writing has ALWAYS... I was able to do it by using the time that I saved by never... i can't wait until the oregon trail remix wow joe yeah exactly also my old thoughts are often better than my... nah those guys were just trying to shut down the best part... i got one that had 300 RTs to over 1000 RTs the other day,... carefully You have died from a lack of espresso—Brooklyn Trail seriously it's the best thing to do on twitter dammit patrick And we'd be like, great, let's put 15-20 really great... okay (sadly takes off blazer and sweater, puts on a... Come visit! i don't really have it but what the hell it's not awkward thank you very much please visit us any... this is very useful where do you come down on... I know they are stellar. @darrenhoyt and @mciarlo did our... 38 hubots Honestly, Frank? I think you're just more naturally polite.... We can have a polite-off. EXACTLY my strategy is ivy on bass and abe on drums oh god oh god listen we all must make sacrifices I mean you could merge 90% of the thinkpieces. that's one of those situations where there's no comparison.... coudal partners has seen some shit Thanks! Come visit! dammit jack Virginia! Hello! Thank you. some people are never happy paul.ford@postlight.com contact@postlight.com works or just email me and i'll route... If I forgot anyone tell me because I want to get good at... with even less talking seriously @reppep is my copy editor for life who also helped me corral What Is Code! you would become more powerful than i can even imagine I'M CURRENTLY WRITING THE BOOK there were circumstances. leah nothing would piss off men more than if you learned to... fuck it, i'll commit to the next 20 years of mocking and... this is an EXCELLENT website goddam it patrick he is so cruel Janet wgy Janet wgy did you give our children harmonica s nothing oh come ON we have gone from tamagotchis to like half the... i would read that “you're” is not a valid atom well right every media object is software and every media... And you'd always be risking the immediacy and growth of the... that's the thing. you'd need to bake it into product and... plus the textbook people are smart enough and will pay more... it'd be much easier to build it on top of an ebook delivery... oh i'm sure i'm not—but that's a hard pivot given the... it's an agency, we build you your software this week whoa this is probably the correct way to go wow this writer is unbelievably well-informed about the... I don't read the comments niiice Doubleclick for Advertisers I mean I'd need to sell ads. Oh I assumed YOU formed your opinions MANY years ago. i just drank so much roset THAT's amore! “When the cat does great harm / To your Chesterfield's arms... ♬ When you injure the vicar / With cheaply caned wicker /... ♬ When your ottoman's torn/And your neighbors show... champ shake those look wonderful oh yeah in liar's poker i think they actually had a budget... GODDAMMIT BEN you really have to give it to the sun my wife just gave me a clutching toy and puts it my hands... I already have a home clutching toy that my wife gave me so... i actually have a little wooden sun that is known as... i seriously won't buy one because of the risk in moments of extreme stress (i.e. daily) i bite through... i rip them apart like a drunken wolverine and when i see... is there a chewproof pen actually wait i need to ask this... that's great i'll just write it that morning so that i could mute you i just did blocked oh wow it's been years they are amazing smh why do you hate the pope chris? i mean really it was one of the places where touchscreen... worst part of NYC is no wawa uh oh https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedJS/status/6434500767576678... :double_middle_finger: there is no other way I just don't want to deal with myself that much. I guess I better write that keynote needs a z no sadly we are stuck with this timeline instead of that one whatever dude never he is a very gracious person freelancing how do you fill the hours amirite fat shaming you're welcome did you know that the hawaiian word for "quick" is "wiki" is it nice also we are a four minute walk from argot you know who has lots of desks and conference rooms and... i can't hear you over the sound of my binary options trading the ONLY email that competes with that one is from Laurie... RIGHT! I knew it was a thing I'd seen. no i mean that's BuzzFeed by the way that last tweet is 140 characters long hm you are a strong contender lolol yes ulgh tom no one should read that novel I oversaw the great spatula assessment of 1998 professor mo made us sausages rice and peas it was great a fridge block is better than any follow for reals I wanted to! where can i pirate it/stream it though sure because the media industry is filled with self-hating... god is fridge still tweeting can you fucking imagine back atcha this is spectacular oh god the teething plus food... not compatible with centralized content platforms, sadly you are very kind. Thank you! yes Yes we do! yes if i remember it has some virtual reality scene. i never... i was 20 when it came out you are welcome this tweet is incredibly kind ulgh pop-up bankruptcy AND IN THE SHEETS you're playing a dangerous game michael Empathy is my core value. Native BrandOps “Tuning Microservices for Global BrandOps... I mean there's a command-and-control aspect here that's... LEIGH WHY DID YOU SAY THAT OUT LOUD Right I mean I'd guess it was...5K dependencies? 100K? I... That's the thing, it was secret and then it was everywhere. that's a great question! right sorry dorkwave? Patrick what is your look I can't hear you I'm reclining too hard. oh wow this is a new kind of mormonism families are wonderful. It works out. But it forces you to... we can do the next one sure! please no it is always of tremendous interest and value thank you! the thing is that once I had the idea it became... exactly! the title of that chart is "EXCEPT WHEN IT'S JIM" that for sure. On the left because it can be acted upon; on... I think you almost need a 3rd party to gather feedback,... media consolidation and capitalism. i think this also applies to releasing code or really... he's fine, mostly there's my girl she is a true artist of the Internet... agreed offer to hold one for a few minutes and tell them you... I need to listen to you Mike the Internet privatization of infrastructure maintenance becomes labor immediately forgive @ftrain She's actually the nicest person and she gave my children... I think more people have been on it than have heard it. Wait you've heard it? Or were you just on it? This is one obvious reason. that was the only part that made me sad yes they are usually really helpful. they used to 404 a lot... because wikipedia is wonderful but also very high risk “Registration Closed” yes they're great if you are a journalist writing about a... more likely: overworked, young, lightly edited, making $250... well normally their articles are unsigned. i mean it is... how well do you know the lyrics well they need to be very careful lest she die in childbirth good curating today patrick I say! this article is completely lacking in information on how... why must impolite ruffians speak to me in rough tones fair second of all they have perfectly internalized the era's... first of all why isn't it in a magazine for ladies? oh wow this article is extraordinary bm1 Brooklyn bound bot I mean i already was tabs intern ultimately we need to give everyone access to the drugs... WAS ASKED i'll adopt you but you'll need to learn javascript yep that's great! thanks! also: 90% BeatPort t-shirts Hi Aastha! I'm wearing a shirt with the RSS logo that says "I want to... Paul...is that an off the rack blazer from Men's Wearhouse? can you imagine tweetstorm forecasting is still as much art as science I'm a shy person erin I can't remember specific shows but yeah it was def like,... yeah! BLOCKED well sakes alive wow that looks deeply satisfying [nods] yeah it's hot liquid garbage I'm honestly just super nostalgic for the crazy-uncle... he *is* the god Pan I mean—“she had looked at me and seen a... This situation is surprising when you consider that he the... whoa imagine our parents conceiving anyone, the damp creaking... whoa this is amazing this is called "sleeping" you should check it out on... at least you only have one husband huh dammit oh no I came to that by pure thievery I just read this on the bus and learned many things about... that's a relief hahahah never or, if that felt to ambiguous, a “kk” the ironic use of advertising language was fine for zine... u did SO good tho i actually had a reader writer and request I did “what are... it'll be great :) fair maybe you could get a telepresence robot and hand out... i'm NOT sad I'll miss andre? no i'm sad i won't see you, they're totally doing it forever i'm sure you'll be funnier than darius, more relevant than... oh fuck now i'm sad eh it's still a good hug i'd take it i know i'm garbage. i really want to come this year too.... sva students hooking us up right omg? request i do i mean i'm done writing and tweeting a brand cannot expand indefinitely it was totally a ripped gray t torn from the finnegan look... ‘O.K., capitalism, I have seen your gaping maw, and I want... patrick you are someone who really gets what it's all about... this was a good move shut up and watch this ted talk thank you that is actually calming i REALLY need a cigarette right now and it's only 9:41AM... i just snapped my keyboard in half I keep thinking about what @zeynep is saying here... 2/@MSF_USA pulled 1,600+ refugees from the water yesterday... 1/The sight of a dead toddler washed onto a beach is... ivf whoever was mean is fired not anymore sometimes when things seem, you need to that you CAN even I secretly study Vaudeville an incredibly mismanaged relay race thats a relief tbh mostly I just read the docs and went holy shit a lot admire it? god it would be a Spotify playlist of like, top trip hop. I... sometimes! It really is a good device. pepper banan peppee aoli theres a learning curve but they do some things sooooo well the boutonniere Ford fiesta anything where they hack gpus is weirdly fascinating god I hope the strike is over soon bm1 a diamond in the rough I like the new.Mexico governors mansion harrisburg I just renewed the domain. I need to get back in there.... every time you dress neat translucent databases 2nd ed translucent databases 2nd ed a longer bus ride so I could collect more thoughts ohhh I thought you meant in general. The book I'm not... nah its a nerd book about databases and I have a headache... beakause it will always be thus kieran yours is too high concept god I don't know. There are a lot of threads open and I've... I just keep imagining the meetings at Disney where they... the greatest love of all because after you give good love... purity I am sort of hoping that by starting a software development... no but it will be a major part of a longer book from fsg in... a little overwhelmed in general but optimistic over all the wrong people usually I've never seen either show should I? I love the async model, having learned it from the Clojure... evan https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liu_Cixin he's on the angry birds movie who will play the sophons like even the boring parts are crazy in an interesting way the end of dark forest was pretty cool tbh i mean there is... with a character you expect to be dead oh yeah he could care less and in fact he starts you with... well it's just make-believe too, people should be able to... no i love it, takes a minute to get used to it. it's very... medvedev but i mean, each tweet is basically a medium-sized web page this—http://www.bloomberg.com/bw/articles/2013-11-07/the-hid... those sweatpants do look exceptionally comfortable stellar, thank you. that's wonderful can I email you my address and give you... !!! (@juninaro you are off the hook altho if you got one I... and also just like, people don't stop talking until they... oh wow that's an extraordinary detail I work by union square now let's get coffee! dan is a generous writer i don't care about books i like to read old business... i mean i think the author must be aware of that irony... god that might actually be it oh my that is exceptionally kind, thank you if there is one please do and I'll PayPal you whatever. It'll be all right. I'm just writing about gender and... morning matt that image is twice as offensive because she's not halal https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/638802691066626048/photo/1 !!! Hi! Thanks! wait huh Serious question: Is there a chewproof pen? I just threatened to erase Octonauts from all of NetFlix... The best part of waking up/is Advil. maybe it's time to broaden the definition of being a dad to... how can heads will roll a-trak remix have 2x+ the plays of... seems legit https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/64921902786953... Then they wouldn't walk in rain boots so I carried them... My four year old daughter insisted I cut her pants into... And good night to the super blood old lady whispering... these Hiroshi Sugimoto photos of Italian theaters are... “no one has found an undoubted trace fossil of dinosaur... I WOULD love to see Robert DeNiro as a crazy-coot old VC... okay google how do i mercy-kill the part of myself that... there will be so many things that are much, much sadder by... sent https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/647841222422360064/ph... useful pope context https://medium.com/matter/franciss-holy-... Pretty great week for Pope bon mots. Next door during the @sfpc lectures there is a sort of... And it is normal. It is genuinely life-affirming to be in a place where... I mean, right? i like to do my crowd work on twitter before speaking at... what's your favorite meme sir? tub girl? what about you... what's the deal with airline food chain supply systems... who here has a pet what about you miss oh a cockatiel does... and now a reading from ephesians i can run i can i can for example not many people know i grew up the child of a... the whole event is three hours and part of me wants to go... guys i'm talking at @sfpc tonight and i guess i could trot... i mean all audiences are fake what matters is that you are... wow this guy is about to become really famous... I updated the first graf. It's a fair crticism! I need the API, the rights management, user management, a... ha. okay. see the part where we built beatport and... oh they all have bugs oh we have an amazing remote team I made a solemn vow to myself that I would not type the... It would simplify everything if we just correlated new... At first you're like how did the children get harmonicas... Twin four-year-olds at breakfast with harmonicas. How did... Thanks to @mciarlo, @tinystride, @closacco, @darrenhoyt,... I wrote about co-founding Postlight here:... The domain is still propagating but if you see the... Racism is the one religion that never takes a holiday. Really digging these archives https://twitter.com/ftrain/sta... Why do we do this to ourselves? I mean pizza rat when you think about it is all of us. Why is the pizza rat named Paul... i dunno i don't read much literary fiction because i don't... sometimes I think a lot of people hate Franzen because they... No one lets me do ANYTHING. If I was to launch an explainer site I would bake in a... David Cameron can do what he wants in private but I'll... There's nothing wrong with that. They pay writers and can... Wired, a digital lifestyle magazine for older men, is... oh cool just getting my coffee checking out this morning's... Wow today we learned a little more about how both law AND... Ad networks already do all the micro-targeted content... http://MediumRectangle.com could be a whole magazine in... I own http://mediumrectangle.com if anyone has any ideas.... The one thing to know about publishing is that it's a... For some reason people cannot stop generating content, no... Programmers now forming opinions about the publishing... man b3ta is still pretty great this is from an image... i mean TTL on a stainless steel mass-produced pen until... oh wow it's immediately apparent that the problem is not... no see you guys I need GOOD MOUTH FEEL but resistant to... get the pope a tasty-klair Just a year and change until the next presidential election! this is good work this is not real but it's great anyway... i was wrong in 2012 and i'm wrong today... it's 6 https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/445063078766718976 luke you switched to incognito mode what's wrong oh my god... augmented reality is going to allow for actual human blocks... the sad thing is that the ad people have the good content... now block the ads in podcasts seriously mailchimp i fucking... so many panel discussions will be born today it's wonderful the IAB is going to do something about this just as soon as... who will the final blogger be Soon the taptic engine will be morse-coding “Be sure to... we showed those ads “Cheat: It's the only way to get published.”... i'm not really an editor any more except i edit a lot of... “This could have used an editor” is a cliché that, as an... is fried chicken a sandwich explain bread pudding It's really hard to decide what to have for dinner knowing... You thought you hated me for giving my daughter extra money... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/345607232005734400 hey @leahfinnegan mo just sent me this and i think you'll... i guess i need to watch this for work The Minions movie made $1 billion on a budget of $74... skittles🌈 https://vine.co/v/bY6iV6n0Ur6 Proof that growth hacking works. https://twitter.com/jordan... percolate call me I mean you can really sell that as a service. “We create... Actually now I'm kind of into the idea of BrandOps. i didn't look up it was 90000 degrees oh god brandops is going to become a real thing because of... Like, if the same people who did the logo rollout where in... I went over to their NYC office and it's still on the paper... It's everywhere at once. It's inside the search bar on my... It must have been a logistical nightmare and it was carried... i had to unretweet that masterwork thing because i felt... I call this look Problemagic http://www.nytimes.com/interact... You guys keep running your mouths on Facebook and I'll keep... this is a good commit https://github.com/dariusk/corpora/com... man you point out ONE paradox of capitalism god this is the perfect moment to release embarrassing... ACCURATE For obvious reasons, I will never appear on... its a bit maybe Wow the Economist just made it so weird.... The one true job of public relations is to stave off... Seems like tweetstorm season is over. http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/09/11/fashion/mens-style/the-... You know what used to get discussed a lot and used in bad... I know & read Analog/F&SF/Asimov's—what are the... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/641002570622836737/photo/1 this is crazy https://youtu.be/QajyNRnyPMs “People talking to people is still how the world’s... Cardigans soon. i always floss too far I have a lot of bad news for my brain. Wow, out of nowhere my brain just went, “You should walk... Is people ordering insane shit places don't have (like... this extreme 1920s collection of air stunts and things... Okay so @joshuatopolsky this is a little obscure but if we... -> Maybe i want to criticize so many things that my head is all... i hereby am going to offer criticism to everyone. actually screw that i'd have to issue at least 2,000... i just listened to a podcast where people talked about my... actually wait this is the song right here holy shit... The student doesn't seem to be on Twitter so I don't want... Last night an @svaixd student quickly mentioned this band... i re-issued that tweet so it had more intellectual property... saw a woman wearing this on the back of a T-shirt coming... in the 90s it seemed like jazz flute samples were going to... http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-interactive-guide-to-a... ulgh i'm just waiting for the “it was all very ethical we... and next, us magazine homeless edition will start running... I still feel like garbage about the news. So that I could stop feeling like garbage about the news I... I'm home! Thank you for the questions. I will never answer... Williamsburg had started to lose its mind and I had just... I like the way that trump reminds us all that the media is... I don't want to read my book and I am on a bus. Can I... A copy of my Businessweek issue from Taiwan has been... Two shoutouts in the layoff memo is definitely a... the new google logo is a radical improvement in favicon... western writers are always avoiding expository dialogue... i did just read the first two three-body problem books and... this is paradoxical because if you were only supposed to... Live every day like it's Prime Day. Is there anyone in Taiwan who can grab me one of these?... An Icelandic institute publishes an AI ethics guide... I just don't know if I'll ever get used the ragged right... (@kjhealy has documented his document-generation workflow,... People are rightly excited by the subject of @kjhealy's... never forget https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/6385248378504... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/638522758515818496/photo/1 guys relax the pope also met with yo la tengo Wow this moon. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/64831754896... Fact: Every currently active dad has at least five pictures... hacker news is pretty sure twitter should only need like... EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND READ THIS NOW... The saddest part of playing the videogame Brooklyn Trail is... Good morning! We launched our platform/product agency last... My friend @richziade and I launched an agency to build... We keep trying to make online publications for ad-like with... When I pass this I think of songs, like, ♬When the foam in... oh god oh god via http://mlkshk.com/user/artwells... Congratulations to sunlight on water which has had one of... I wrote this about failed weight loss with quantified self... Congratulations to my 30,000th follower, @SEOVaginaDeals! Can I talk about how the rollout of its rebrand across... I did a tally of the dumb shit people were saying about my... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/641919608522428416/photo/1 Don't hate the aggregator hate the native brand advertising... I wrote a piece for Elle about how I will address the wage... When I threw you under the bus I really hurt my back. Just... you ever find yourself drifting to sleep thinking if you'd... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/638520417272119296/photo/1