February 2014 BY Paul Ford 2014 429 Sections Just trying to find balance. And it's our #1 export, too. No one manufactures more suffering. “It's different with twins” is our go-to excuse for... In a truly modern news org people would see writing to the... Nerds still yell at me all the time, but it is a more... No matter how hard you try, you just end up back in the... Different skills. I'm a middling reporter at best—better as... The Night Watcher™ product Stop facing things. For the 10,000 people online it was a magical time. Man, I mean. I stopped talking to months years ago. May, they really ruined the word “endorsed.” There are no Google™ hits that are not typos when you... don't thank me thank my bookmarklet one of the ideas that truly caught on everywhere I feel strongly that we should tell everyone under 30 were... you know what's cool oh thank god Good, then you can answer a question for me: Is sendmail... The answer is clearly that I need to read more... You know... I only went to SxSW once and it was because Jeffrey made me... They look like candy! Until chair and body are indistinguishable. I sort of gave up when I got to 2007, much like I did with... Someone should install a drop-off box. so good I'm done. leah do u even lean Needs to be email. Twitter no longer has the same sting. I was going to start @AwlElevated but then I realized it... Just don't unmask the resulting Bookscan numbers. First of all it's Condê. Even remote workers? Graydon Carter has a wet bar AND a wet nurse. Now let us talk about True Detective. I have this fantasy that when you open the red door that... lol stop making up words or maybe @NYTLactationRoom Oh my god I would die. It is one of the ways you can spot outsiders, along with... I still wonder who is behind @HearstVomitorium? “Existential dread dollars” is the only cryptocurrency I... That is fair. Yes, but it also scratches a very specific kind of fanboy... Steve Ballmer said this, repeatedly. Are you up for a three-hour lunch where we compare the... Blouse of Cards Yes, he truly landed it. Also, Denton's mother was in the... no ben it was beautiful 800 pages at peak! it was really unsettling. It had been such a reliable... but we were computer shopper readers People keep saying things about things, is what I think is... Oh, I'm sure it exists somewhere and will pop back up when... They came to me and asked if I had anything, and a couple... In Internet Time, we are ancient. That is soothing. This is super-fun and highly interesting! Thank you. Excellent work here today, Jeff. it's not really shocking though, it's just a normal day Comparing 1997 web to today's is like comparing your... Oof, that is hard to watch. It is like five billion calories, it is such a fascinating... It will be awarded to a wealthy cis male, and perfect irony... Which poets should more people be reading? The pay is terrible. True—there was ftp://prep.ai.mit.edu/gnu/README.DESCRIPTIONS... I think it is a bad place to get news and information, but... Do you like it? Would you like to have one? Then let me... It was just that. HN is far more startup oriented and more... I watched the GIMP come together in the late 1990s and was... Hacker News has replaced it for me, years later, but it... I am not part of this thread but am concerned and curious. You very well might not! But some might, and some companies... I didn't know it was in this ballpark—thought it was just... Doubtful! (Hadn't heard of Tidbit until recent EFF stuff;... Oh well there you go. I was basing my idea off the code... wise counsel https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/232997472190996482 I do not feel that my pedantry is gendered. I prefer the... “One corrects customs by laughing at them.” castigat ridendo mores That is a great site. Dave my levels are dangerously high. Let me know and I will enjoy and betweet them. My bet is they are fun to read, but I also understand the... —“engage” could have economic value and be used to “mine”... The one with the bikes. What I'm going for is a little... the one with the exercise bikes? my god, yes. Fun! Is it online? If not, put it online! I liked the part where it talks about how men use the word... For just one minute allow yourself to imagine a world... It is a clear framing of a huge social problem, with... “The past is always tense, the future perfect.” ―Zadie... I was thinking that I would begin to reply using quotations. I believe that Robinson’s sequencing is correct, and in... excellent pt I apologize for the lack of a comma between “Dave” and “my.” It has never been a question, and the people who allowed it... Leave it up for a week and then replace it with a blue... Serendipity alert: http://www.metafilter.com/136741/Quicker-... just listening to that album reminds me of using a mac... yeah that william orbit production is so good come on ryan everything up to and including ray of light is... oh, we all blur together. i will check out the poem! ulgh don't i know he was basically the best genuine lol i always give up halfway through his name and just spell it... jacob i was right here i knew it was excession the bird is... gives whole new meaning to the culture amirite amirite... Excretion was the title we WERE going to farm salmon but setting up CoinPonds was... combining GM with cryptocurrency production is the most... exaaaamples good post she's the best the only thing that is worse garbage than katie is this... drapes are getting shredded sadly Happy Sisyphus Day! also @bizweekgraphics that sort of 3D ridiculousness is... it was a spotifyhole I can't sleep because I have that loves a bunch of authors... i only listen to soundcheck you're all just toying with me now oh wow the one dude does every weekday morning... I now have to go check and see if they do or not because I... Rush run rapid transit and Moxy Früvous is in jail. And me, I'm just really happy to see Sloan fans... .ca seems to have a really weird relationship with its own... sigh tim this is like seeing reddit form a band yes but what if you WANT to be alienated? she is! It's 10PM Thursday, Austin, what the hell else to people do? god right this needs to be a sitcom it's awesome. that's what made it so awesome we can hope i would never troll bots i respect them too much I think about the Simpsons line about jazz musicians: “They... It was cool to live through so much lame history. guys garbage plate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Tahou_H... the brown javadoc pages come to mind unbidden Thanks! Very kind. Omg it would smell like burgers Leah maybe some day I could show you a draft of my YA novel well sure that's how socialism works thanks people in my workshop really helped me focus my... the title of this article should have been A TRULY GREAT... (sorry that was obscure i just feel that a single hashtag... jessamyn you are magic I can and will run and learn but what do you ballpark as... Fixed-width data, too—I'm surprised you could FTP instead... Love seeing how pmap is used. When do you decide to go with... hold on bigdog is at the door i need to let him in or he... omg it wasn't bad enough with the kitchens now you flaunt... http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/02/aols-mil... ulgh we spent too much not letting babies die now let's... why not use the plain-text data files?... alanna don't put sugar on this we both know i did wrong it's hard for me to give someone else scraping ideas i want... ANYWAY i would love to know all of the project gutenberg... i mean damn alanna a man makes a mistake one time, doesn't... she probably also wants you to throw away that shirt but is... That absolutely WAS the subtext of that article. did bobby steal your phone too? several hundred years from now a giant spaceship will... http://platisher.com isn't part of the deal joel hey @jeremy_keehn can you help this whiny internet baby don't you have full digital access to the archive going... thanks--it's here http://www.wired.com/underwire/2014/02/his... yeah i love that guy TKOL The reverse; journalists should simply provide us with a... we don't say that word jacob it was you sean you were the one i was sitting here going if i don't put uris some nerd will... ulgh imagine a web history that is permanent, public, and... you are history's greatest artist a later effort but remarkable in its own way:... That strikes me as super-normal; I'm more focused on the... wow jacob jacob the CEO of Microsoft is into poetry and sees... “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by open... YESSSSSSSSS okay trebuchet OFF THE METER it kind of did with webfonts tho felix, these giant... typesnaps have a $0 valuation lol guys fallibility is my brand Not to these databases, yet. But it SHOULD. okay i'm on it going to the office now you query OWL with SPARQL, Tom, it's just RDF, which is the... Welllll in any case that one had a strong and welcomed edit... let's write this up and crosspost to alt.chrome.the.moon SQUIRREL bigdog's voice is so pleasant and plummy and maybe even he... “Before, the ads seemed to hunt you, but now you would have... Sigh. i think he was talking about the linux filesystem publishing platforms like gawker and buzzfeed allow major... i just see it as deferred hilarity # # If you see someone with a weight problem making little... “Her” was an interesting prediction of the future of... long-term it just makes economic sense Lacsploitation Ukraine: Russia's hot pocket. The good one was a nurse who made sure the machine worked... We had something similar, although then we had a great one.... You are trying to ruin Friday. The last episode of True Detective: Rust puts down his copy... Is the appropriate gift for a fifth work anniversary still... Google 网站导航™ product and CitizenTube™ channel are... Here is a list of all of Google's trademarks, to inspire... 1997 in a nutshell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n26hAOmkm... Navigating NYC today I fully understand why people seek new... Seriously every time I touch sendmail, men appear playing... “Oh, I'll just configure sendmail to pipe messages via... The most unconference is no conference at all. If you asked me which figure in history I would most want... A truly modern aptitude test might check whether you should... What is it like being a guidance counselor now? “You have... I mean I love you all is what I meant to say but hoooooo... Wow this is just a tiny bit The Oral History of Talking... “Ben Brown stood up and delivered an impassioned plea about... This is an excellent and important example of how teens use... I felt the direct brand interaction made that something... “I prayed a shark would take care of the problem.”... “The foreskin bobbed faithfully alongside it,... “Then the unbelievable happened: The placenta floated.”... “As the one year anniversary of Beth’s killing approaches,... My wife's memorial for her friend Beth, a Santa Cruz police... NSFW https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/438436282104958977/ph... So often you are reading about someone you respect and come... Sometimes I imagine someone writing a “Controversy” section... Simply by emailing people their first names with nothing... The only actually cool unmasking ever was when Andrew S.... Nothing is worse than finding out that humans are behind... Unmaskings are the opposite of news because they take... “‘A lot of times I pander, I’ll be honest with you. I... http://mlkshk.com/p/XIRX It is just a TV show that the President watches calm down. “They want clicks, I get it.” http://www.vulture.com/2014/02... I have given this question serious thought in the past and... Once HBO figures out how to make the breasts themselves... “Why is the gossip press so obsessed with me?” a very rich... “he and his deranged little elves can churn out... “Don’t get me wrong: I love a nice bouncy rack.”... “‘I miss the ads when they are not there. I feel less... Now that the Olympics have finished when do the Sochi ruin... They sent the courtesy copies in a plain brown envelope,... I didn't know this made it online to Playboy. I had to look... I know exactly how you feel. https://twitter.com/ftrain/stat... The wifi password changed, it's “deblasio.” Is there a word for “Film you will see even though it is... From @mankykitty, awesome notes on research into using web... http://www.fuckedconcept.com/?g=SDG60PB1S4Jmo&w=58945089586 You expect at any point for the person in the mask to yell,... On the Internet, everybody knows you are wearing a latex... “the mystery guy who'd been sitting by himself at the back... I hope there is a correlation between happiness and... Some situations call for blocking a Twitter account, some... Whenever I see huge dumb Internet drama my brain goes: ... I like the way Greg Knauss points out that he is part of... “Why is mechanical help with relationships out of bounds,... Here, this will help you: http://thoughtcatalog.com/brandon-... What music is the most depressing? You are right. It provided that then-novel mix between a... Why was it so great? I am trying to understand what primal... Raising kids you start to realize just how thoroughly... Freshmeat used to be my newspaper. For cryptocurrencies subpoenas are the new series A. One of the ideas that is in that piece is that banner ads... Not only is Tidbit an actual implementation of... When some philosopher or hermit asks you “what is... Value happiness, because happy subjects have 12% greater... “We all know the mortality of companies is less than human... According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “ruthful”... Upon learning that President Obama knows what will happen... Please also remember that I am the fun Cassandra. Remember these tweets when you are grinding in brandspace... The current campaign costs do not line up, but it is fun to... nope, not me, but which poem? “So an advertiser could treat ads as executable software,... Dear everyone in the world, I wrote again about Bitcoin (I... What kind of concept is it? Today I went to the Bloomberg building, where people handed... We are very lucky to get to read Mary Beard on the public... When companies say they value their users this is what they... Remember that all the joy and love you have ever given or... “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable,... Do they have copy editors on Dagobah, @rustyk5? “Obama..ask[ed] for advance copies of ‘True Detective’ and... The correct use of the semicolon is one of the few things... Beginning now, I will properly construct my sentences when... rip mavis gallant you genius welcome back my friends to the cold that never ends we're... Some nights I see an angry cat under the table lurking as... It feels that UX + product has subsumed IA, though, and... Reading @cwodtke on information architecture past and... For example if you could figure out how to turn digestion... You try to be respectful when your cold ends but then you... The Adenoviridae are like, thanks, we had some times, but... Look at that beautiful 1-million amino acid crystalline... I'm sick with adenovirus boo hoo but DID U KNOW that... “How many minutes does it take to read?” they beg. “How... “Perkins went on to say that wealthy people should get more... oh wow the plot to “Her” is in there sort of (21) You purchased matching fursuits so that you could... here i made you a list of ways to say i love you seven... millennials are "polyestrous," which means they may have... that last one wasn't really about millennials or is it what's the difference between a cat and the american labor... for example: cats expect constant praise and hate calling... (any time someone talks about millennials just replace it... millennial cats require constant petting why is the landing gear down http://images.businessweek.com/... my dream job is i'm working at this office and then my... at the end of the series the camera zooms out and it... the feist/peaches sitcom could have jokes about beavertails... god the sitcom about feist and peaches as roommates in the... if the teaches of peaches were released today i guess it... Feist and Peaches were roommates #Canada “dad sometimes i want to denormalize so bad” “son let me... “We created a new network called HBOh! with shows you'll... Comcast and Time Warner merging is bad for consumers but if... it was perfect Why doesn't the bird fly around the pipes? “Time Warner made more than LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook... Per @dietsch, advice for food writers:... Within ten years a TC writer will publish a novel and get... Anyway every generation gets the Ironminds it deserves. Attention is the currency of rich people. Thought Catalog once asked me to republish something I... “I once went on a date with someone who wrote for Thought... “A lot of the things on the site-ow, I keep hitting my... that may be the knebworth 1990 of trolling that is like the trollingest trolling i've ever seen “Josh Allen, he’s had a site called Fireland, now he’s one... http://www.philome.la/VideoJames_/the-pipes-are-my-solitude/... I spent months developing against the Lithium API and I can... “They adopt technology when they’re seduced by the... “People don’t crave technology like drugs, wanting it so... not a lot of replies to this one eh here's a hint: a full 2/3 of Americans will list their jobs... you should seriously see the shit i've got going for 2026 if you write a book about AOL the title can be “the regret... omg he blamed obamacare http://www.theatlantic.com/business/... Hey that narcissist CEO who acts like he's covered with... History will look back and go how did you let these... rage plagiarism i basically stole that link from @shani_o but the article... The mother of a “distressed” AOL baby writes in... indie is actually the American word for jealous i wonder why my phone keeps making that buzzing noise You know you've been married a while when you know exactly... yes you're right i'm going to shut the browser and then... “there's a lot of twittering going on and not a lot of... about 30,000 words monday morning at 8:30 what made you ask moby dick but on a submarine and the regular cetaceologist... zoiks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UWxlVvT1A The Derek Tape is the My Dinner With Andre of stoners... say pageantry again deleting that last tweet in the interest of being a better... rusty you knew your audience you knew this would happen “�G\”? sweet doxx http://www.platisher.com/ then again it's a loooot faster and the huge red things are... oh hey also here's T.C. Boyle reading Barthelme it's... what if the times had photoshop... NPR dramatizes three Barthelme dialogues in 1980... “I have created a device that will destroy journalism—from... this is a garbage planet journalists complaining about hotels in russia on twitter... It's like listening to a Diego Rivera mural come to life:... The thing about it is you hear people talking about wage... It's not homework. I just found it a couple days ago. You... If you want to hear a radio show about black life from the... Marvel Comics character API http://blog.programmableweb.com/... urls amirite Sorry if that link to the thing I wrote with @mattbuchanan... I hope you welcome it into your consciousness along with... With @mattbuchanan I wrote this post about Twitter death... “Indeed, he says, the best code *is* poetry.”... whoa was user testing done at gunpoint? nor is it valid/to discriminate against “business documents... so much depends upon. a mobile computer. glazed with... Satya Nadella lists his hobbies as “Cricket, Poetry.”... That said, I wish Facebook would release a calorie-tracking... I wonder how the people who invented paper feel about these... annnyway it's fast and works and free and helvetica neue is... yeah i mean these are the phone books of our age it makes... Helvetica Neue was such a great choice for Dopplr in 2007 https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/430400028868231168/photo/1 oh you'll know “We are now living in a history glut; the Internet has... My piece at Wired about the blurring line between past and... The death of the middle class is the death of Red Lobster... Cats are joyless interior decorators. "I'm sorry. This... also cats at times anyway saturday night “It contains a lot of units conversions and astronomical... Here's John McCarthy's handy facts file in Emacs LISP... does anyone else think sunset rubdown sounds a lot like... But where I think the real innovation is going to occur... oh wait it's one of the six vedangas not a term for a... I cannot even begin to imagine the innovation that is going... “The thrill of new gTLDs is not just the innovation that we... For MAXIMUM bleak listen to "Wiggle It" by 2 in a Room... when people of the future want to know who we were and what... “The pair, and a third man, are heard cheering as the... EXACTLY. “Sir, I understand your concern but I can assure... blogging.guru is available Truly, this is a great essay. If you don't have time to... Any person whose company was not bought for $16 billion... You SAY “some viruses are transmitted through fecal matter”... I know it's hard to be lonely today. But trust me: One day... My advice to younger writers is that your career will be... Say what you will about Tim Armstrong, but he's the only... Big writing projects mean every single moment of your life... Daddy what are the words between the tweets those are...