Explosion on Ftrain

Relaunching the Web site.

“Can we turn the music down?”

“Sure. It's the big knob.”

“Thanks. So you re-launched Ftrain?”

“Hold on, I have to take some aspirin. Did you know that “Corinth” was once a synonym for an immoral city?”


“A ghoul was a “fellow who watches assignation houses, and follows females that come out them to their homes and then threatens to expose them to their husbands if they refuse to give them not only money, but also the use of their bodies.” That from 1893. And “the night-sneak” was stealing, first documented in 1714.”

“Put that book down. What have you been doing, since you haven't been writing?”

“I have a really sore neck is all. I've had it for days. And my eyes hurt.”

“Can you give us a tour of the new Ftrain?”

“It's broken, still, and there are a lot of problems with the structure of it, but I figured I should get started. It's going to take me a few weeks to get back to speed, and I hope people are patient. It may be a little confusing at first, until I iron out some kinks.”

“What if they don't have time?”

“Well, they can stop reading and give up on me. That's fair. My neck still really hurts.”

“What can we expect from this version of Ftrain?”

“More sex, more robots, and a giant sky-fire. Perhaps some MP3 radio theater. I need to fix typos that appeared in the transition, too.”

“That's all?”

“Yep, for now. I posted this new version because, in order to get anything done, I need a sense of guilt. Having an embarrassingly unfinished site out there gives me this. Guilt is my gasoline.”

“Neither is `Kwimerrijabstajobidge.'”




Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some time.


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About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.

If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at ford@ftrain.com and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.


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© 1974-2011 Paul Ford


@20, by Paul Ford. Not any kind of eulogy, thanks. And no header image, either. (October 15)

Recent Offsite Work: Code and Prose. As a hobby I write. (January 14)

Rotary Dial. (August 21)

10 Timeframes. (June 20)

Facebook and Instagram: When Your Favorite App Sells Out. (April 10)

Why I Am Leaving the People of the Red Valley. (April 7)

Welcome to the Company. (September 21)

“Facebook and the Epiphanator: An End to Endings?”. Forgot to tell you about this. (July 20)

“The Age of Mechanical Reproduction”. An essay for TheMorningNews.org. (July 11)

Woods+. People call me a lot and say: What is this new thing? You're a nerd. Explain it immediately. (July 10)

Reading Tonight. Reading! (May 25)

Recorded Entertainment #2, by Paul Ford. (May 18)

Recorded Entertainment #1, by Paul Ford. (May 17)

Nanolaw with Daughter. Why privacy mattered. (May 16)

0h30m w/Photoshop, by Paul Ford. It's immediately clear to me now that I'm writing again that I need to come up with some new forms in order to have fun here—so that I can get a rhythm and know what I'm doing. One thing that works for me are time limits; pencils up, pencils down. So: Fridays, write for 30 minutes; edit for 20 minutes max; and go whip up some images if necessary, like the big crappy hand below that's all meaningful and evocative because it's retro and zoomed-in. Post it, and leave it alone. Can I do that every Friday? Yes! Will I? Maybe! But I crave that simple continuity. For today, for absolutely no reason other than that it came unbidden into my brain, the subject will be Photoshop. (Do we have a process? We have a process. It is 11:39 and...) (May 13)

That Shaggy Feeling. Soon, orphans. (May 12)

Antilunchism, by Paul Ford. Snack trams. (May 11)

Tickler File Forever, by Paul Ford. I'll have no one to blame but future me. (May 10)

Time's Inverted Index, by Paul Ford. (1) When robots write history we can get in trouble with our past selves. (2) Search-generated, "false" chrestomathies and the historical fallacy. (May 9)

Bantha Tracks. (May 5)

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