Later Abominations

Awful writing from 1999 on, when I should have known better.

My Pals Sonic Youth
A visit to the concert hall.
Wednesday, January 27, 1999
Solo in Gray
Sea Lions in the park. What do my words mean here? I use the word pinnepedal. Why? Oh, God.
Thursday, March 18, 1999
The only point of this piece is to demonstrate what a jackass I am.
Friday, March 26, 1999
Citizen Darth
Trashing the new Star Wars movie. It deserved trashing.
Sunday, April 11, 1999
An essay on the arts scene and what it meant to me in 1999. Of course, when I'm writing these summaries (mid-2000) I care not at all.
Tuesday, April 13, 1999
Here We Go Again
I broke up with a girl and had to write for the sympathetic Internet audience about my deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep feelings.
Monday, April 19, 1999
A dumb little story with one or two good lines, based on a completely predictable joke.
Monday, April 19, 1999
What's wrong with the world? An attempt at a non-answer in a few short words. Reading over these archives, I want often to say shut up, fellow. Why didn't I?
Thursday, May 6, 1999
Mirror Only Slightly Angled
The online journaler, a strange creature of odd habits.
Saturday, June 12, 1999
All the things in my head all at once.
Monday, June 28, 1999
Rein, carnation
A goofy fiction.
Monday, June 28, 1999
A series of little narratives, all glued together
Friday, April 23, 1999
9 sections.
An Ending of Sorts
Closure on the Internet
Wednesday, March 10, 1999
My Favorite Variable
Geeking out.
Saturday, January 23, 1999
Tracking My Changes
A few absolutely shitty literary thoughts.
Tuesday, February 2, 1999
Prior Iterations of Ftrain, created in blind ignorance but with great hopes, and information on the site itself. My advice, which you should feel free to ignore considering the source, is to start from the very end - to read the new stuff first, when I'd actually learned a little bit about writing, and then if you can stomach it, move backwards.
Saturday, January 1, 2000
3 sections.
11 Aug 98
Acting my age
Tuesday, August 11, 1998
A sad whine about work, written in the "high amateur" style that so much of my prose favors.
Sunday, March 14, 1999
Cliches, some with Examples
How many can you spot? And when is a cliche a characteristic?
Sunday, March 28, 1999
Ah well. Sometimes the writing turned to squalorous sloppiness. Here's a good example.
Sunday, April 18, 1999
First Day
So now, I decided to become autobiographical. I thought I'd write my whole life's story in about 3 hours, but I didn't get far. Here's the first piece.
Tuesday, February 23, 1999
Oh, I am a didactic bastard. What was I trying to accomplish with my mini-lecture on automotive environmentalism?
Friday, March 26, 1999
A New York moment of no note.
Sunday, January 3, 1999
A moment of waiting for the emotions to settle.
Tuesday, January 26, 1999
Sick of writing, I write about being sick of writing. Result? The audience is sick of me.
Monday, January 4, 1999
The Voice in the Ear
Talking, talking back, and so on. Taking it all too seriously.
Sunday, April 18, 1999
Writing on writing about writing. Kill me.
Tuesday, May 18, 1999
Shut Up, Paul
What he said.
Monday, May 24, 1999
I Believe (a comic gothic, first draft)
A little fiction with a high "yeah, whatever" quotient
Friday, February 26, 1999
Study Hall
Working and what it's like to work and whatever.
Tuesday, January 5, 1999
A little apology to a woman who's long, long gone.
Tuesday, February 23, 1999
The Ftrain Temporary FAQ
Out of ideas, I began writing about Ftrain itself. Bad sign.
Tuesday, March 7, 2000
Staten Island
Middling writing about a nice day.
Monday, May 1, 2000
Lost Weekend
I was just fucking with people here, writing nonsense, talking crazy talk.
Tuesday, May 2, 2000
In my modern era, love begins with diagnostics.
Sunday, June 25, 2000
Location x 3
Ask an idiot a simple question, and see what happens.
Sunday, July 16, 2000
Explosion on Ftrain
Relaunching the Web site.
Thursday, July 27, 2000
Republican National Convention
I'm trying to unrust my chops, so I wrote down some thoughts on the RNC. It's hard to connect ideas; I'm struggling with the words.
Thursday, August 3, 2000




Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some time.


There is a Facebook group.


You will regret following me on Twitter here.


Enter your email address:

A TinyLetter Email Newsletter

About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.

If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at ford@ftrain.com and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.


Syndicate: RSS1.0, RSS2.0
Links: RSS1.0, RSS2.0


© 1974-2011 Paul Ford


@20, by Paul Ford. Not any kind of eulogy, thanks. And no header image, either. (October 15)

Recent Offsite Work: Code and Prose. As a hobby I write. (January 14)

Rotary Dial. (August 21)

10 Timeframes. (June 20)

Facebook and Instagram: When Your Favorite App Sells Out. (April 10)

Why I Am Leaving the People of the Red Valley. (April 7)

Welcome to the Company. (September 21)

“Facebook and the Epiphanator: An End to Endings?”. Forgot to tell you about this. (July 20)

“The Age of Mechanical Reproduction”. An essay for TheMorningNews.org. (July 11)

Woods+. People call me a lot and say: What is this new thing? You're a nerd. Explain it immediately. (July 10)

Reading Tonight. Reading! (May 25)

Recorded Entertainment #2, by Paul Ford. (May 18)

Recorded Entertainment #1, by Paul Ford. (May 17)

Nanolaw with Daughter. Why privacy mattered. (May 16)

0h30m w/Photoshop, by Paul Ford. It's immediately clear to me now that I'm writing again that I need to come up with some new forms in order to have fun here—so that I can get a rhythm and know what I'm doing. One thing that works for me are time limits; pencils up, pencils down. So: Fridays, write for 30 minutes; edit for 20 minutes max; and go whip up some images if necessary, like the big crappy hand below that's all meaningful and evocative because it's retro and zoomed-in. Post it, and leave it alone. Can I do that every Friday? Yes! Will I? Maybe! But I crave that simple continuity. For today, for absolutely no reason other than that it came unbidden into my brain, the subject will be Photoshop. (Do we have a process? We have a process. It is 11:39 and...) (May 13)

That Shaggy Feeling. Soon, orphans. (May 12)

Antilunchism, by Paul Ford. Snack trams. (May 11)

Tickler File Forever, by Paul Ford. I'll have no one to blame but future me. (May 10)

Time's Inverted Index, by Paul Ford. (1) When robots write history we can get in trouble with our past selves. (2) Search-generated, "false" chrestomathies and the historical fallacy. (May 9)

Bantha Tracks. (May 5)

Tables of Contents