.

 

Blah

Basically, I suck.

All I've been doing is working, and the work is quite hard this time, outside my natural range, so I've been learning new skills, and some Hebrew.

Some things have suffered; my raw-creative-box-brain has atrophied dangerously, until it becomes a a small dark walnut-thing that rattles in my skull. The sunsets are beautiful. I am lonely, lonely for palpable things, for people and smells and lights.

All this to say I know I'm not writing and I know the deal; I know that people stop by and are disappointed and annoyed that I've been lazy, that they'll give up on me without more input. So I'll try ASAP, but I have to do the stuff that pays, that I feel is best for me in the longterm. And I really don't have time; what time I have is spent sprawled in bed or sucking in words from some book or other, or going out in Tel Aviv. But I've insisted to myself that I find the time; I am only smart and useful when I generate 2000-3000 words a day, only truly myself when I can backup my brain nightly. It's in my best interest. So soon - it just really is a lot of work. First I have to write my parents, and write some letters on paper, then I can come back here with some new ideas and the desire to set it all aflame and begin again. Next Monday. I promise, I promise myself.


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Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some time.

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About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.

If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at ford@ftrain.com and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.

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Recent

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