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Thursday, June 18, 1998
18 Jun 98
By Paul Ford
Television Fantasy
The Scooby Doo Show had guest appearances from Don Knotts, Sonny and Cher, and the Harlem Globetrotters. I fantasize: driving through the desert, the kids from Scooby Doo stumble into the Manson family. Scooby marries Squeaky Fromme; she takes the name Squeaky Doo. The active, running-scared theme music plays while Charles Manson carves a swastika into Shaggy's head. Shaggy screams, women in beads holding his arms and legs against the floor as Charles digs with a shard of glass.
A festival of blood. Other cartoon characters--Flintstones, Jetsons, that blue dog with his father--descend upon each other, chanting, their sudden cartoon fangs glistening, ringed by pink gums. They dance in circles as Shaggy is crucified above a bonfire. Velma abstains from the orgy, and will not eat Shaggy, then relents and enters the pulsing throb of painted bodies to take her dinner and her pleasure. As her sweater is rended from her fulsome torso, she loses her glasses. In her blindness, she [deleted].
That night they drive through the midwest in the Mystery Machine, looking for victims. Fred seduces teenage hitchhikers, then skins them. The show ends with the promise of more next week.
I wait for the next episode.
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