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28 Jan 98

By Paul Ford

The Further Adventures of Captain of Industry

The Further Adventures of Captain of Industry

A Radio Play

Narrator: In our last episode, Captain of Industry stopped a merger between the Alpha and Omega corporations, and brought the evil Dr. Cameleye to the League of Justice. But before a prosecutor could be named, our hero's cell phone rang--Startup Girl was in grave danger, trapped in meetings on the corporate campus of the nefarious Gamma Company. Our story opens as Captain of Industry rushes to her aid.

Captain of Industry: Startup Girl! What are you doing here?

Startup Girl: I thought... they... would... give... financing... dying... struggling....

Captain of Industry: (Horrified) Have you been looking for a buyout?

Startup Girl: I needed to raise some money... after... last content product... failed... they wanted me to do... process... documentation... due... diligence (faints).

Captain of Industry: Wacker help us. Startup Girl, can you hear me? Wake up! Wake up!

Narrator: Using his cell phone, Captain of Industry arranges for a large cash infusion to be financed for Startup girl.

SFX: Cell phone beeps, over industrious, orchestral music.

Captain of Industry: Bob, I know she's not profitable, but the new media industry is so precarious right now, do you want to be left behind? No, Jim, I'm not going to squander this next round, she's just, she's lying here now, Jim, she was begging ISO nine-kay companies to raise extra, it's worse than consulting for chrissakes, she just needs to get back--no, Sally, I've got something hot, this is not a content product, this is consumer, we just need some quick cash to get it rolling, guaranteed...yes, Ronnie, industrial process documentation. No, I know, that's why we need...

Narrator: Finally, he assembles the necessary financing.

Startup Girl: Hello? Hello? Is everything okay?

Captain of Industry: Until the next investor's meeting. You've just received an infusion of several million dollars in venture capital. Let's get out of here. No more asking for cash from big finance firms.

Narrator: Another close call for Captain of Industry, but meanwhile, in the R&D laboratory of Delta Software Inc, Doctor Algol plots the destruction of the world.

Doctor Algol: Our new software product will eliminate the need for intimate contact between human beings! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Narrator: Until next time, thanks for listening to...The Adventures of Captain of Industry!