Hmm

By Paul Ford

An experimental play.

Ftrain has won an award, which is nice.

Thanky. Because Ftrain is voted the "Best Experimental Journal" at Diarist.Net, I will now present an experimental play, which I will write in the next four minutes:

Ed: Scrrrrweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hijja hijja hijja hijja, brrrr-uuuuuuuuuuuuuh, jibba jibba jibba jibaa!

Mary Ann: Objectivist thought leads us to one thing--

Ed: Ilja gasha doro pliana! Hermo jeebu danno chibblehsnortek!

Mary: And then the baby entered the bathtub, never to be seen again.

A diplodocus enters.

Mary: You've been disproved by Creation Science!

The diplodocus becomes Jesus, or just Christlike (because this is an experimental play).

Jesus: I am a dinosaur! No wonder I was forsaken.

Audience is covered in gasoline. Theater is set on fire. Mary and Jesus drink tea as inferno roils.

Ed: Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, nine, eight, eight, eight, seven, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, three quintillion, one-hundred-thirty-four billion, nine-hundred-thirty-four million, two-hundred-eighty-nine thousand, four hundred sixty five, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight.

Curtain

Mary Ann: Objectivist thought leads us to one thing--

Ed: Ilja gasha doro pliana! Hermo jeebu danno chibblehsnortek!

Mary: And then the baby entered the bathtub, never to be seen again.

A diplodocus enters.

Mary: You've been disproved by Creation Science!

The diplodocus becomes Jesus, or just Christlike (because this is an experimental play).

Jesus: I am a dinosaur! No wonder I was forsaken.

Audience is covered in gasoline. Theater is set on fire. Mary and Jesus drink tea as inferno roils.

Ed: Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, nine, eight, eight, eight, seven, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, three quintillion, one-hundred-thirty-four billion, nine-hundred-thirty-four million, two-hundred-eighty-nine thousand, four hundred sixty five, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight.

Curtain