.

 

Amusing Google Searches

Amazing what people search for, when they set to searching. Written in protective police custody, address undisclosed.

It has become de rigueur for web self-publishers to list, on their weblogs and journals, the search terms which bring people into their respective sites. Here is the list of my favorite search terms which brought people to Ftrain.com, all from Google on June 23rd, 2002:

  1. thumbscrews propane kill ftrain guy
  2. ftrain guy "slept with my girlfriend" home address
  3. coming to kill you with a hatchet paul ford comin im a comin dont sleep paul ford dont sleep dont close your eyes
  4. "getting back the life Paul Ford stole from you"
  5. i was going to marry her paul ford ftrain know the hurt you've done ruined everything good
  6. ftrain range of .22 rifle brooklyn rooftops targeting paul ford critical wound through eye [address deleted]
  7. paul ford ftrain eviscerated hung from hooks
  8. resale value kidney liver heart paul ford ftrain operation without anaesthetic
  9. 9th st brooklyn paul ford ftrain my name is michael paul you might as well know my name i hope you call the cops i hope you try to protect yourself because that only makes it better for me after what you did
  10. look behind you when you buy that sandwich at [deli name deleted] forever you can never have her she is mine alone paul ford ftrain
  11. ftrain guy "slept with my girlfriend" home address
  12. coming to kill you with a hatchet paul ford comin im a comin dont sleep paul ford dont sleep dont close your eyes
  13. "getting back the life Paul Ford stole from you"
  14. i was going to marry her paul ford ftrain know the hurt you've done ruined everything good
  15. ftrain range of .22 rifle brooklyn rooftops targeting paul ford critical wound through eye [address deleted]
  16. paul ford ftrain eviscerated hung from hooks
  17. resale value kidney liver heart paul ford ftrain operation without anaesthetic
  18. 9th st brooklyn paul ford ftrain my name is michael paul you might as well know my name i hope you call the cops i hope you try to protect yourself because that only makes it better for me after what you did
  19. look behind you when you buy that sandwich at [deli name deleted] forever you can never have her she is mine alone paul ford ftrain

It was time to leave town anyway.


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Ftrain.com

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Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some time.

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About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.

If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at ford@ftrain.com and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.

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