Amusing Google Searches

By Paul Ford

Amazing what people search for, when they set to searching. Written in protective police custody, address undisclosed.

It has become de rigueur for web self-publishers to list, on their weblogs and journals, the search terms which bring people into their respective sites. Here is the list of my favorite search terms which brought people to Ftrain.com, all from Google on June 23rd, 2002:

1. thumbscrews propane kill ftrain guy
2. ftrain guy "slept with my girlfriend" home address
3. coming to kill you with a hatchet paul ford comin im a comin dont sleep paul ford dont sleep dont close your eyes
4. "getting back the life Paul Ford stole from you"
5. i was going to marry her paul ford ftrain know the hurt you've done ruined everything good
6. ftrain range of .22 rifle brooklyn rooftops targeting paul ford critical wound through eye [address deleted]
7. paul ford ftrain eviscerated hung from hooks
8. resale value kidney liver heart paul ford ftrain operation without anaesthetic
9. 9th st brooklyn paul ford ftrain my name is michael paul you might as well know my name i hope you call the cops i hope you try to protect yourself because that only makes it better for me after what you did
10. look behind you when you buy that sandwich at [deli name deleted] forever you can never have her she is mine alone paul ford ftrain
11. ftrain guy "slept with my girlfriend" home address
12. coming to kill you with a hatchet paul ford comin im a comin dont sleep paul ford dont sleep dont close your eyes
13. "getting back the life Paul Ford stole from you"
14. i was going to marry her paul ford ftrain know the hurt you've done ruined everything good
15. ftrain range of .22 rifle brooklyn rooftops targeting paul ford critical wound through eye [address deleted]
16. paul ford ftrain eviscerated hung from hooks
17. resale value kidney liver heart paul ford ftrain operation without anaesthetic
18. 9th st brooklyn paul ford ftrain my name is michael paul you might as well know my name i hope you call the cops i hope you try to protect yourself because that only makes it better for me after what you did
19. look behind you when you buy that sandwich at [deli name deleted] forever you can never have her she is mine alone paul ford ftrain

It was time to leave town anyway.