| Up: Foolishnesses | [Related] «^» «T» |
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Meats
By Paul Ford
Today Helena (this is not my girlfriend's name, and I am going to change it every time I use it, in order to keep the cops at bay) and I saw a van that read: Flushing Meats, from Queens. In 6,000,000-pt type with a picture of a pig. It took a moment, then it went like this: “Well that concludes the tour of our slaughterhouse, and are there any questions, yes, you, the ugly one to the right of the one-legged one. Well, that's a good question. There are three kinds of meat. There are eating meats. You all know that. And then there's scrapple meat. Tasty. But some meats can't even be used for scrapple. And we used to have to drive around for hours looking for dumpsters. But then a representative from the toilet industry got in touch with us. It turns out that the best way to test the new toilets is by using meat. Consistency, thickness, right? That's when we pioneered the development of a new kind of meat, and those are known as flushing meats. It's been a major new revenue stream for us. Hence the van.”
![[Top]](art/EndFleur_40x21.gif "Top"){kind=small}
